Is it unreasonable to ask someone who ghosted me for proof of life?

[Anonymous]

seriously crazy ghosting i guess as i haven't seen this girl or her girlfriend's either for like almost 9 months now and they all live in my hometown

she normally had a job as a server during the summer at one of our local hangouts but haven't seen her there for a long time and not even sure if she still works there or planning to come back

unreasonable to ask for a proof of life at this point? like what happened to this person , to be honest not really even interested in being friends with her anymore just wonder what happened to her

Updates

2 mo

i don't have any reasons to believe her or her girlfriend's are not alive , more a way to get her attention and realise how crazy this is to do this. if they had an issue with me should of talked to me and explained why there upset

Updates

2 mo

some of them returned to work this weekend and i saw them but didn't really talk to them or ask what they were up to , is 1 girl who has a new job and not back , not entirely sure why as she had been there for a long time , hope to talk to them eventually when we have more time and moment is right

Updates

2 mo

still not entirely sure what is going on with this place , some of the girls did seem to return last weekend for work but this week they didn't even open patio and place seemed very slow. so haven't really talked to them yet , one said hi and seemed ok to be back but never really explained why i had not seen her in so long , not sure if any of them have any shifts this weekend or not

[CriminallyInsane]

I think this is the first time in my life I have ever heard of expression "proof of life" that wasn't about a hostage and ransom situation lol

[Asker]

i though it would be a way to get through to them that i was seriously wondering what happened to them , like its been that long

but have no reason to believe she or her girlfriend's are not alive

yesterday in my town a 28 year old man was reported missing and today its reported that he was found deceased

but pretty sure there still alive , not sure of her wheabouts or such though

[Asker]

i know the situation is rather crazy really for a girl and her friends who worked at a restaurant to disappear and seemingly ghost me over something they didn't even speak to me about first ( since i'm not exactly sure what there so upset about )

we have a long weekend here coming up so its possible some of them reappear , they have to eventually return to there jobs if they still work there and want to make any money right? will see if any of them talk to me or offer up any explanation for this?

if they don't reappear by the long weekend i really have no idea when they might or if they even will at all?

[Nikki1989]

It is damn childish. Just move on already. Jeez!

[Asker]

i agree its childish of her and her girlfriend's to do this , i felt that i had made a genuine effort to get to know them only for them all to disappear for unknown reason

[OneViewpoint]

Why? What's the point? What's your goal? They already told you they don't care.

[Asker]

they didn't really say anything just disappeared , i tried to recall the last time i saw her and her girlfriend's and if we talked or if they said anything that might offer some explaination but i can't recall anything being said

[OneViewpoint]

Women are indirect communicators. They hardly ever just say anything directly to another person's face. In this case they told you with their actions. They never picked up the phone or punched out a text.

[Asker]

well true has been zero communications with these girls since they disappeared , i've never tried to contact them and they haven't contacted me. in the past i used to see them at that restaurant when they were working but also when off work , may have seen them in some nearby places too but always restaurants.

not exactly sure what they were so upset about , they might of though i liked one of the younger girls who worked at the restaurant because i had talked to her one day last year when she was doing a training shift ( she's not an actual server yet but one day last fall she did a trial shift and i like talked to her a bit when i was sitting at bar , she might be serving this summer but haven't seen her for a long time either )

[OneViewpoint]

Never underestimate the cowardice of women when it comes to uncomfortable conversations. They will avoid it every time if they can. Then blame you for not getting their cryptic non verbal messages. It's just the way women are.

[Asker]

its just speculation on my part what they were upset about , it could be another girl who works there or something else i really don't know , has to be some issue , some of the girls also had boyfriend's and its possible they didn't want the girls seeing me there

the management of this restaurant never talked to me ever about these girls or why they were so upset at me or anything , even if the girls didn't want to directly talk to me someone else could of

its just created a very off situation where i don't know exactly what i even did and don't even have any way to speak to them to try and clear things up ( unless they return to work at some point , its may so think they'd come back if there returning there )

[Asker]

usually they'd have shifts by now ( May ) but weather been cooler than normal so patio has not opened yet and staffing level at that restaurant lower than normal but weather this weekend nicer so maybe some of them will be back , be interesting to see there reaction and if any have anything at all to say

[Mike_Hum]

Bruh. take your L and move on. Yes it's unreasonable.

[Asker]

the asking was just to get there attention and make them realise how crazy this situation was becoming , still no sign of her or her girlfriend's , its possible they may reappear this weekend but not sure , if they still work there have to come back soon but i'm not sure who still works there

[Mark_Est]

Only low value weakminded people ghost, no matter the gender. Don't even bother with them, waste of time for anybody.

[NathanDavis]

who are you going to ask though...

[Asker]

someone who can provide proof of life , someone who knows them , its possible they return to the spot i normally saw them at this week , i they do maybe i'll ask whats up , although not 100 % sure they will return or who is coming back

[NathanDavis]

are you sure you're friends with these people... or you "believe" you two had something...

[Asker]

know them through there work which was a restaurant , talked to them many times there when working and when off work , seen them before at other bars and they always said hi or talked , so they talked to me when not at there work before

i didn't date the girls who ghosted but i did know them fairly well

[NathanDavis]

doesn't like a friendship... just coworkers

[Asker]

no we got along fairly well there , we talked a lot i can recall having various conversation with most of these girls over the years there , i definitely felt there was a genuine connection with most of them , i didn't feel like i was spending my time with strangers , these were definitely people i knew fell enough to feel comfortable opening up with and talking to

still no sign of them , nicer weather today but still no patio or extra staff , rain next 2 days so highly unlikely they work so leaves it to long weekend if they will reappear or not

seriously not sure what to expect , usually people are in a good mood to start the season but just getting weirder by the day at this spot and these girls

[Asker]

might of found perfect person to ask but didn't ask her when i saw her today , still no sign of these girls at restaurant but i went into a nearby sports bar and was girl working bar who is friends with them , never really talked to her before but we got along well today and she seems really nice and pretty

i didn't ask her about her girlfriend's but maybe they'll be jealous i went to see there hot friend instead and finally come out of hiding this weekend , will see if any reappear or not , there restaurant seemed entirely dead as weather not nice and patio not open but suppose to be nicer in next few days

[NathanDavis]

all of this sounds very shady and stalkerish... lol

[Asker]

they all work at a restaurant i go to , i had been going there before they started to work there

there friend works at a nearby sports bar , the weather seems nice this weekend so pretty sure patio at there place will be open so the moment of truth as to who still works there or not is about to come , if there not around this weekend and its a long weekend they must of left for somewhere else

so will update if i see anyone and if they talk or have anything to say , some i'd imagine might say hi or serve me like nothing odd had happened despite fact they've disappeared for months without reason

[karlaatsd]

Just let it go does not matter

[Asker]

i'd still like to see them again , normally we got along at that place and it made my day better to go there and have a drink with one of them when i was at the bar

but not even sure who still works there or anything yet