Is my gym crush actually into me or the loud, flirty girl instead?

[Polly123]

I have a gym crush. We’ve inside jokes, he has given me many compliments looks and personality. We support each other, shared personal things, meaningful moments together. I liked that it seemed to be developing naturally. Recently, another woman at the gym has started seeking his attention much more. She is funny, loud, very present, gives him a lot of validation. I find her behavior intrusive because she comments loudly on my body, clothes, hair, appearance in front of others, though saying I am attractive. She also noticed that he and I had worn matching partner outfits before. After that, she asked him about it, suddenly they wore matching outfits too. I told him I thought that had been our thing. He said she had given him the “order,” but that he and I had our own colors. After that, I pulled back a little. When I avoided a class where they would train together, he suddenly signed up for my class instead. He was attentive, asked if I was okay, reminded me about our next workout together, asked whether we would wear matching outfits again. When we trained together again, he asked if we should get something to eat and drink afterwards. It felt like a date. He asked personal questions, remembered things I had said, complimented me, brought up a shared experience that he described as beautiful and even “romantic.”2 days ago we went to a concert with a small group from the gym, she was there too. She kept finding ways to be near him, like get drinks together, go to toilet at same time. I tried not to compete and focused on enjoying the evening, but it hurt because he seemed energetically more with her. Now she has signed up again for the same classes as him, including one I’m also in. I was signed up first and don’t want to cancel because of her, but I don't know how to deal with their dynamic. It hurts because I keep wondering whether I misread everything. How can a woman with this kind of behavior fascinate him? Do men like that?

[Masie]

Honestly this sounds like a lot of drama for your age. It is not normal for people that are even together to wear matching clothes let alone two people that are essentially strangers at the gym.

If it were me I would switch gyms. I go to one to work out not to flirt and be flirted with. You seem to treat this like a paid dating service and this guy definitely comes off as a player.

[Calyptomaniac]

Instead of playing all the silly little games, just ask him directly about going out on a date and it will save you all the wondering and dragging out all this back and forth drama

[Staximus]

"Maybe if I stand here like a statue and act like my vagina froze during the Siberian winter of 1892, he will think I want him to ask me out in a date"

[Anonymous]

Have either of you talked about being in a relationship? It sounds like you already do couple stuff, but his behavior could be considered cheating if you were. His behavior would indicate he is interested in this girl. If you are interested, you should act. Trust me, you don't want to wait too long.

[Staximus]

If she acts more attracted to him than you do, who do you think he’s going to pick? If the guy hasn’t asked you out in a date then maybe you are not acting like you’re attracted to him.

[Staximus]

You don’t have to throw yourself at him, but at least act like you want something more than just being gym buddies.

[Staximus]

Have you ever even tried to spend time with him outside of the gym?

[Polly123]

I have complimented him in a sensual way or told him that I love when someone brings their professional side into their hobby. I also tease him, both over chat and face to face, and he has given me compliments too. Told me I am attractive and recently we went out with others and had some dirty dance.

At the same time, I’m also just focused on doing my own gym stuff. She positions herself right next to him and takes up much more space than I do (like going to his classes). I’m not as intense or present as she is, to me flirting is also about building a certain tension and playfulness. That's why I am wondering if guys like her style more. Seems so.

[Polly123]

Yes, just recently we went out for lunch, and he called it romantic. He also remembered our karaoke night, said it was a nice memory, and mentioned that he kept a little souvenir from that night.

We had a drink and were sharing it like Lady and the Tramp. While we were drinking, he looked into my eyes and said that it was romantic.

[Polly123]

And yes I smile at him, told him I find him attractive, asking him for help, etc. But she is way louder than me and I am not a shy person. I think she makes it easier for him.

[Abbycado]

She is more openly flirting by the looks of it. What guy doesn’t like that?

Who has meaningful moments at a gym? XD

[dougeats]

Pass on that dude. Who wears matching clothes? lol

[In_Trance]

Why don't you ask him?

[Polly123]

Maybe because I thought being too pushy... yeah maybe that's my problem.

[Amy1990]

Could be testing the water.

[MasterKS]

old flirt game nothing new.