Ignoring my girlfriend, am I doing the right thing?

[Anonymous]

I have a really tiring job (and I usually have lots of work to do at home) but she can't seem to understand that.

We argued about that, some weeks ago, and I asked for time but she can't seem to understand that too.

She's really annoying and needy sometimes. She texts me telling me nonsense things or just what she's doing at the moment and the most of the times I don't even know what to answer, so I just don't say anything.

Am I doing the right thing?

[emmabee11]

I wouldn't ignore her like that as I have had guys ignore me before for like really small reasons and it only ignites me more by pissing me off, making me think the worst and like you don't love me at all, id think you just hate me, she might decide to just get up and go if you don't answer her for ages. Do you really think you have time for a girlfriend with such a demanding job?, I know someone who gets stuff to do at home as well and what he does is he talks to me on MSN for like half hour then goes off to do his work, try doing this to see if that works, she just wants you to show some attention to her so maybe half hour at least will give her the attention she needs.

Or you could just be honest and tell her that you know she wants attention but your job is demanding and you really can't get your work done with her constantly messaging you all the time, she sounds like she is really scared of losing you and because you've not been answering her she is just getting more and more needy as you know us women tend to think the worst so I would ask her what is bothering her to make her act this way, she is probably thinking most of the time you really don't want to bother with her so it will just make her panic more. If you really can't manage to keep your job on and have a girlfriend then you really need to consider if you have enough time to go out with someone, it isn't fair if you can't properly commit to it due to your job.

[Anonymous]

hmmn I wouldn't say you're doing the right thing, I just think you're not quite ready for a relationship or love. a relationship is a two way street and its purpose is for a guy and a girl to spend time together because they love each other and understand each other and whatnot. you are detached from her and are being cold towards her, while she's trying to talk to you and reach out to you even if its 'nonsense' texts which honestly aren't nonsense...theyre supposed to be romantic, she's texting you because she loves you and wants to just talk like you would to a best friend. friends, lovers, family...people you love, you talk about nothing and do it for the sake of it because you love each other. I mean what do you expect? a silent movie?

i don't think your fit for a relationship quite yet and ure being unfair to her by dragging her along. I don't think this will last. if you don't think you can make her happy, or she can make you happy, then you might as well end things, before letting it carry out longer than it should.

[Asker]

I do love her.

I just don't know what to do because she's trying to overtake my life.

[No1Listens21]

Believe that when you get into a relationship you know what you are capable of and what you can give to that person. If you feel as though she is too needy or clingy you should probably take a break or break up with her. If you leave it as...just ignoring she probably will feel bad about it and/or herself. Clinggy people usually have had a loss or feel abbandoned and it is most frightening when they think they are going to loose their loved ones even if it is real or imagined. She probably needs comfort. If you don't have the time tell her that you do not have the time that you wish that you had. Simply put we accept the ones we love for who they are and that includes their imperfections. if that is not tolerable to you - suggest you allow her to find someone who will.

[aly-marie]

Agreed, let her go if you can't give her the attention she needs.

[No1Listens21]

=) thanks hahaha

[Asker]

thanks for enlightening me.

[No1Listens21]

yw. lol. ^_^ hahah

[FrancoBattiato]

Yeah I had an ex who assumed due to my gaming hours that I'd clocked up over the years that I was lying about being busy, regardless of starting this overworking job last October. When we were together I played games sometimes and I guess she didn't understand that I was catching up on lost time. Every now and again I'd get some spare time and sure I might start up a game. She'd see this and just assume it was me ignoring her, not stopping to think that maybe with this overworking, tiring, hard job (Royal Navy) I needed a way to just forget about everything for a bit and the best way to do that would be the games I play, fantasy games where I don't have to worry about anything.

Drove me away from her. I loved her but I need my sanity, and escaping to those worlds is essential for that.

[Asker]

Did you ever tied to explain that to your girl?

I don't know what to do, should I explain that to mine, once more?

I don't want her to be my ex.

[FrancoBattiato]

I tried a few times. She seemed to understand but then just regressed days later.

[Asker]

Was she that kady4e girl?

[FrancoBattiato]

Yeh, sh*t happens I suppose. My job is bound to cause stuff like that, she was amazing when I was with her but so needy when I got back to work. It just completely put me off her, I had to block her she got so bad

[TheStaff_Sergeant]

No, are you kidding? Being that you have a tiring job and have much work at home, I'm guessing you don't spend a lot of quality time with her, I think that she's just misses you and is trying to keep a bond with you. Some jobs are tiring, but I think that you should at least text her every few hours to acknowledge her text, dude, she just wants to interact with you, it's not a negative.

[No1Listens21]

idk why but this answer made mi smile. lol. thanks? hahahaha

[kady4e]

You seem like my ex.

He stopped having time to stay into a relationship with me because, due to him, his job was too tiring too. But, I don't know how he always found time to be playing games on his laptop or to post new pictures on Facebook for his female friends... I can't understand why he didn't wanted me to feel firstly ''needy'', then ''ignored'' and to end this over ''over-react''...

so, be aware, if you keep acting like this, in a few time she will be saying ''ex'' before the ''boyfriend'' word.

[Asker]

I guess you were one real example of what girls here were saying.

Thanks for sharing your story.

[kady4e]

@ FrancoBattiato

I NEVER minded when we were together and you were playing games!

You just pissed me off when you just stopped talking with me from nowhere and didn't even explained what was on your mind... yeah, I needed your attention, and you weren't there for me.

[Asker]

Aren't you over reacting again?

[kady4e]

Am I?

Girls don't wanna feel ignored (and I'm not the only one saying this)

@Franco

Glad you said that here but didn't explained that to me earlier. I would have understand if you had explained it properly. but, well, I understood what was my role when you deleted me from your friends and filled my place with Raheema ... I just wished you hadn't given me a reason to over react.

[DestineePanic]

Ugh, me and my boyfriend would argue about the same thing, too. We still do sometimes. And I understand that I do need to back off sometimes, because he gets overwhelmed pretty easy.

If I were you, I would probably be doing the same thing.

I ignore my boyfriend when he's texting me stuff I dont' want to hear. It might not be the best thing to do, but you're not evil for doing it.

The best thing to do is tell her how you are very busy and stressed and sometimes you just can't talk until you're free. Tell her you need some space. If she doesn't even try to understand, then somethings wrong, and you two might need to take a break until things get better.

She'll have to get used to you having other things to do... If she can't, then you might have to consider the relationship. Don't stay unhappy or waste time

[Anonymous]

if you ignore her she will eather swing one way or the other. She will eaither get more obssessed and become un-barebly needy or she will feel unwanted and not worth your time..

You have to be careful when it comes to this because you don't want to send the wrong message. She's needy because your ignoring her.. when your in a relationship girls often become insecure when you ignore them or say you need 'time' Girls need attention. they need someone to be their 'hero' someone to protect them and ALWAYS have time for them. But in reality people have to work to support themselves which consumes majority of your time. and you need to tel it to her. Tell her what you think but make sure you let her know that your still head over heels for her. This will take a long time for her to come to grips with but she needs to know that you do have other prioritises and when you do have time you will see her.

[PoeticNinja]

Set time aside for her. Even if you just have to listen..

I understand that coming home from a tiring job can be very overwhelming at times. Especially, with a needy girlfriend (boyfriend), show her you care for her without having to ignore her. No one likes to be ignored.

Maybe, she just needs someone to listen to how her day went and all that nonsense. (Which is not nonsense to her)..

Compromise, it's important.