Alright: based on your poll, it seems like you're having trouble with your self-confidence (that or you're going through a rough time right now). So instead of answering your question directly, I will say this:
You are not your disability.
Having a disability sucks, but to define yourself by it is to succumb to it. So what if you're not brilliant when it comes to academics? Most people aren't! But there's more than one kind of intelligence: in fact, the psychologist Howard Gardner identified 8, and a 9th was later added to the list. (Here they are, if you're interested! :) link ) As you can see, only two of them (linguistic and logical-mathematical) relate directly to what most people would be tested on in school.
So, of these nine, which are you good at? Don't be upset by the ones that you have trouble with: after all, no one excels at them all, or even at most. But maybe you're a brilliant musician, or an excellent athlete, or an amazing artist. Maybe your brain doesn't hurt the way most people's do when you think about the meaning of life, or the nature of good and evil. Maybe you could survive for weeks in the wilderness, while none of your friends would last a day.
All of the above are examples of intelligence.
So yes, you may have weaknesses, but you also have strengths. Your learning disability, whatever it may be, will never have an impact on the rest of your talents, and cannot possibly control your life unless you allow it to.
So, to better answer your question: even if they don't fit the narrow, traditional definition of "book-smart", everyone is intelligent in one way or another. Everyone is capable. So dating a 'stupid person' is a non-issue, because stupid people simply don't exist. :)
I really, really hope this helps. :)
Nope sorry don't believe it. I can't sing, dance, draw or act.
Neither can I. :P But you must be able to do something-- everyone has talents. And you don't have to be on the same level as Michael Jordan to be good at sports, nor do you need to be Alton Brown to be a great chef. But you do have hobbies at which you are very, very good. Much better than average.
Don't dwell on what you can't do. The list of things that I suck at is a mile long, but instead I focus on the things I do well at and the things I enjoy.
Please, don't let this define you.
(To put things in perspective: on the list I showed you, I'm downright brutal when it comes to spacial, kinesthetic, and natural intelligence. In terms of interpersonal, mathematical, and musical, I'm average at best. But I tend to do well when things are intrapersonal or linguistic, so that's what I take pride in. :)
Try this test ( link it might help! :)
Does sleeping a lot count as a talent? Didn't think so.
Oh, come on-- you're great at something, I guarantee it. :) Did you try out the test?
I know that feeling sorry for ourselves is the easy thing to do, but in the end, it just makes people feel worse. So force yourself to think about the things you enjoy, just for a little while.
(As a side note: if you're sleeping much more than normal, that could potentially be a symptom of clinical depression. If you think it might be a problem, try talking to a counsellor-- it works, I promise!)
Nope I'm not taking some stupid internet test. And I refuse to see some shrink.
The link doesn't even work, I tried.
Ugh, I'm sorry! I messed up the link, but here it is again, if you're interested later on: link
Can I ask you why you aren't interested in talking to a counsellor? As someone studying psychology, I can tell you that most of the tropes/stereotypes surrouding therapy are blatantly false.
Look, you don't want to feel like this forever, right? So you have to take action. Somehow, you have to work to make positive changes (cont)
in your life. Believe me, I know it's hard, but it's the only way to make things better. People on the internet can't help you, particularly not when you have trouble believing them.
But something out there will work. Maybe a new hobby, or a new friend. Try something you never thought you'd enjoy. Maybe even try visiting a psychologist, even just for one session: if it doesn't work, then you can walk away! You'll never find what works for you unless you play with your options.
I refuse and also think its stupid to sit down, and just spill your guts to some stranger.
If you don't want to try therapy right now, there are always other options. :)
The thing is: you are going to keep feeling like this unless (and until) you do something. You will be unhappy until you truly want to put in the effort to feeling otherwise. It sucks, I know, but there's no instant fix. Play around, test out your options. Talk to a friend, or find a new strengths. Go out and try something you've always wanted to do. :)
You CAN do this, but nothing will be accomplished by waiting.
I would rather be miserable then talk to some stranger. That's how my family is. I took the test and I'll admit I mostly picked one and didn't want to read the questions. Because even if I did the results wouldn't make a difference.
See? There you go-- that's the attitude that's holding you back. Maybe the results of the test will make a difference and maybe they won't, but you won't know unless you try. The worst that could happen is that it takes up five minutes of your time, and you decide it wasn't worth it. But that's not a big loss, and there's potential for a big gain.
You don't need to talk to a stranger if you aren't comfortable with it! Can you talk to a friend? Someone in your family? Maybe start a journal?
WTF will a online test prove? Nothing that's what. And I don't like talking to anyone period.
Maybe it can't definitively prove anything, but it could at least give you a starting point! :) Again, it'll take only five minutes of your time-- there's no harm in trying it to see what happens.
If you don't want to talk to people right now, that's okay. So let's come at this a different way, since my suggestions aren't helping: what do you enjoy? What are your hobbies? Interests? What do you have fun with?
I don't have any fun. Hobbies don't have any, interests don't have any either.
Oh, come on-- everyone has interests! :P What do you do in your spare time? Or, if you're often bored: what would you rather be doing?
(If you honestly can't think of anything, have you considered the possibility that you might have clinical depression or dysthymia? I'm in no position to diagnose, but some of the statements you've made are consistent with their symptoms. The good news is that both are cureable, so long as you can seek treatment (and that treatment doesn't need to be therapy) :)
I don't really know or care if I do or not.
Ultimately: I want to help you. I really, really do. So do all of the other people who've answered your question, and so (I'm sure) do many of the people I know IRL. But right now, there isn't anything that any of us can do.
Right now, it seems like you're in a place where you aren't willing to accept help just yet. And there's nothing wrong with that! But while we're all more than willing to give advice, or listen, or what have you, there's nothing we can do to motivate you.
(Cont.)
I'm not trying to say that you need to seek help right now (or ever, if you don't want to). But if you do decide that that's something you're interested in (or just want to chat), please feel free to send me a message. :)
For now, if you do think there's a chance this is depression, I'll leave you with this: link Obviously, you don't have to read it if you don't want to. :P
I really, really do hope that things improve (cont)
for you soon; just keep in mind that ultimately, you need to be the one to take steps to improve them. :)
So, I'll stop with the (probably irritating :P) attempted problem-solving for now, because, unfortunately, it can't have an affect until you want it to.
Again: if you ever want to talk, I'm all ears (as are plenty of others on this site & IRL)! Best of luck, and I really do hope you feel better soon. :)
I am currently dating a man who is educationally challenged. I actually came across this while researching support groups for this very thing. I have been with him for a year and a half & it is challenging at time. I am currently in school for my masters and he doesn't have his GED-hes actually actually only on an 8th grade learning level and he's 31, I just turned 25. Although I love him a lot it is very difficult and heart breaking when i see he struggle. He is in a GED program but has made little to no progress in the last year and and a half. He's a HARD worker, a man of God and treats me well--hes a provider and truly cares about me. B/c of his disability he works two jobs to pay his bills and really wants a full time job but fears he won't get one w/o his GED. I really love him but don't know where this will go. As an education woman i wonder about stuff like our future, if we have kids, and, how we will support us as a family later in life ( if we stay together) ect...which i could talk to someone who knew what i was going through...
Usually when people troll, they go anon. =P
There's a difference between "stupid" and "with a learning disability." One of my best friends has a learning disability, and even though she doesn't have the same thought process as other people do, she's a very smart girl. She's also a lot of fun, very talented, and she cracks me up. We've been friends since high school, and it always killed me to see other girls in our class laughing at her while she gave oral reports. They made fun of her just because they didn't understand her.
So, to answer your question, yes, I would date a boy with a learning disability.
That's just it when a girl as a learning disability its cute, a guy like me as one, its sad.
That's what I said its cute, when a girl as one. But if a guy as one people automatically think he's stupid.
if seems like your low self esteem is far more of a problem than how smart you are.
and I would date a girl with learning disabilities so long as she had the same mental age as she really was. struggling with reading, or numbers is fine, so long as her non-educational mental state was normal.
But that's just it, Its easier for a girl who has problems learning because us guys, will over look that. Women on the other hand you need to e good looking, smart, tall, etc.
Trust me, mate. Smarts don't count for much when you're young. I'm one of the smartest people I know and it doesn't help me get girls one bit, lol. Lots of girls will look past it, don't worry.
Lots of girls are just as shallow as boys... they only care about appearance (or social status) and don't give two sh*ts at the actual intelligence. And sadly, many boys and girls never really grow up. Perpetually girls and boys well into their life.
It doesent help you cause your alliance, now GTFO, Lok'tar ogar XD
Horde were OP with racials back before they nerfed/changed em all. Vanilla WoW whoo.
Also Horde had a majority of the a**holes. But Alliance had a ton of annoying kids -_- was annoying on both sides.
Ya, that was when Alliance finally started having an awesome PVP related ratial.
Opinion
1Opinion
The only thing that matters to me is the difference between the way we think. If I'm way faster than him at understanding things, it's probably going to be hard. I don't have that much patience. Same thing if it's the other way.
The ideal is dating someone you don't feel superior or inferior to, be it intellectually-wise or physically-wise.
Is that an answer you will "handle" ?
And don't even try to go "so that's a no" or "all of you women are the same". If you wanted answers, you should be able to accept them.
By the way : your poll is not exactly useful...
I have before, its not a huge deal. Just because you aren't "smart" that doesn't mean we can't carry on conversations :p
And you poll is bullsh*t.
Also how do you go from "Please be honest I can handle it" to "What a shock two said no I wonder why."? I thought you could handle it... handling it means cut the snark.
As long as he can understand me and knows how to write,read,do somethings and can work then we are fine, he doesn't need to have that wow brain,it is not like I am so smart =P .
Lol Why all the choices are negative?
I chose B wrongly, I meant I would.
But I wonder what kind of learning problems do you have?
Even if I did put yes, all you women would still vote no.
=/ I said yes, so? love is blind you know! just get to know a girl be friends first and then go out.
I can see it now. 'llI finally get a Girlfriend but when she asks what college I went too, I'm gonna tell her I have a learning disability and never went she'll dump me, for some good looking smart a hole
Is it that bad? going to college is not that big of a deal as long as you work in a good legal and clean place.
Yup I'm really that slow, fat and ugly. I should just end it now.
End what?
your fat= start working out and stop complaining.
End my life wtf does losing weight have to do with me, being stupid and ugly?
U said your fat so I gave you the solution, not having college degree doesn't mean you are stupid.
Yes it does matter, women want a guy with a good job and education, Not a putz
Guys who didn't go to college can have a good job.
Right OK then explain why, when I used to go for interviews I, would get turned down for some pretty boy College Graduate? And yes I was always polite.
Well because he got the skills they need and the experiance but you maybe don't have experiance.
I got rejected many times in interviews and they chose a 35 years old fat chick with experiances and no higheducation over me. well? It was a slab in the face but it wasn't that great of place anyways.
Oh well, I'm not going to argue with you. good luck.
i would still date him.. just because he can't learn things as fast or as much as me does not mean he isn't a good person.
No no you wouldn't just saying that so I,don't feel bad.
I'm not just saying that
No but that's what your thinking. But that's not what you would do.
why would I think one thing and do the opposite.. yes I understand that you some women have done wrong to you.. but that does not mean that everyone woman in the world is like that.. I'm not, and I'm sure the women that said they would date the guy even with the disablity feel the same.
Women say things they want guys to hear, because they don't want to put up with their bs. There is no way you would pass up on a good looking smart rich guy. No women would, no matter how much she lies and says she doesn't find him attractive.
i don't care if he's good looking or smart.. or even rich! if he doesn't treat me right then it's a no deal.
OK I'll take your word for it.
I would. A learning disability isn't a big deal when you are on top of your tasks. There are a lot of people in society with learning disabilities and are unaware that they have one, so I wouldn't mind if a cute guy says he has a learning disability.
But that's just it he has to be cute, if not and he looks like me he's f***ed.
-_- Well I don't know you and you certainly don't seem to have a positive outlook about the situation. The whole thing is personality with me. You could be cute as a button, but if you're rude then I'm out the door. My point is I don't care about the learning disability, its not a big deal to me.
Sorry still not buying it.
Ok good for you.
You say its not a big deal now, but what if it is down the road? Chances are the poor guy wouldn't last a week.
Your poll is wrong by the way, it says "no" two times ;)
It's not because someone has a learning disability that they're dumb. You have different kinds of knowledge, you got "school smart", "world smart", ... you know.
I don't really care about IQ, as long as he knows what he's talking about, knows what's going on in the world and can talk about stuff that's going on, I don't care about how smart he is.
Its not wrong because you, would of voted no anyways.
It is wrong and you have no idea what I would vote ;)
Admit it even if you voted yes, it would of been out of pity.
Nope
yes it would of.
No it wouldn't.
Quit playing mr pathetic! Djeez
You say you can handle the comments, they're al f'in positive! It's just you who's putting words into out mouths and saying "oh no you wouldn't", what the F would you know?
Even if you didn't mind a guy with a disability, chances are he wouldn't last long. Because chances are he'll get dumped for some douche bag jerk. But of course no women will admit to that.
Wauw, you must be single for a very long time because no woman would date a guy that's like: oh you would dump me for him, or for him or for him, or because I'm not this or that.
Why can't you admit it, In order to get a date, the guy as to be some what smart. Period. No women wants to date a dumb ass.
Why can't YOU admit that all this is just a sympathy act? There are women out there with learning disabilities, there are "less smart" women out there, there are smart women out there, ... who cares? If two people get along great, are attracted to each other and like each other, it's really superficial and mean to break up over something like a learning disability. Now that's all I have to say about it, I'm not wasting my time on this anymore, this is getting just a bit pathetic.
Big difference women who have learning disabilities usually get a free pass, because their seen as the victim and guys can careless how smart a girl is. But women want a guy with brains, looks and a good income. Way is that so hard to admit?
To me, even though I am young, intelligence is probably one of the most important traits in guy . So when you say learning disability, it could mean he's very smart but has trouble learning new material or is all together not smart. I wouldn't mind the first one to a certain extent but the second one would be a deal breaker for me.
I've seen 5 year old's smarter then me. I believe I'm borderline retarded.
George W. Bush is on GAG? :O
Bush's problem isn't retardation; it's that his entirely family are sellouts to the RINO Nixon & Ford Country Club, as well as the Rockefellers and dozens of others who are no better than their Democrat rivals. Whose dirty deeds have inspired more conspiracy theories than I can count.
Look. the only 2 options you've given on the poll are negative. How can you expect several positive responses if you don't give us the option?
Even if I did put yes, all you women would still vote no.
then why ask the question? Incidentally I would have voted yes. So there you go. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's a small issue and if you read the comments most of them are still positive. Stop being so cynical.
So basically it would be out of pity? At least admit that part.
ok.. I just said my answer would be yes... so I don't know what else to say. If you have such a negative perception of yourself then that's a different problem. Like I said learning disability doesn't matter. But if you wanna believe what you wanna believe then no amount of yes' will change that. There isn't any point in asking a question like this if you're only expecting one answer (PARTICULARLY, when someone is telling you otherwise - point blank)
See your just saying what you want me to hear, but not believe. If you had a choice between a Harvard graduate, who can get a good paying job or a guy like me who almost didn't graduate HS and lives off SSI you'd still pick the Harvard graduate.
Wow. I'm not even going to justify this with an answer. You're being ridiculous. Like I said no amount of convincing...
My last boyfriend had a learning disability. I didn't notice anything about him being less smart than anyone else. The thing is, intelligence and learning abilities aren't the same thing. You can have a learning disability and still be an intelligent person. So I don't see the problem... :)
Like how you use the word last. Makes me think he wasn't good smart enough for u.
Actually he was. He broke up with me... :(
So I was right he wasn't smart enough for you?
Huh? No, I would have stayed together with him, but he broke up with me.
And actually I found him rather smart. He just had this problem with keeping new information he just learned in his head. He had difficulties in school obviously because of that. But it never was a problem in our relationship.
What the f*** is with the poll? Both say no... how is that a fair poll? lol
This entire post is unfair. Our options are no and no, and then he claims he can "handle it," yet he clearly can't...
Some guys are just beyond bitter :\ me? I choose hate :D :P
Simple if I would of put yes, I know it would be out of pity. And besides I was being sarcastic when I said. What a shock two said no I wonder why
If he's witty, sharp, and can keep up with my nonsense words, then why not. As long as we are on the same page, and you get my stupid not really funny but funny jokes, all sails are clear.
I think you're trying to be a bit sad here. Women tell there's no problem with it (some of them do) and you say: "no you're wrong you would've said no!"
That's just sad tbh and if women don't date you, it's because of that.
Yup your right you must be a mind reader. Like I said the women here who would of said yes, would only have said that because they didn't want me, to feel bad.
What's the difference between option A and option B?
yeah :/
I would in a heartbeat, if I really liked him it wouldn't matter!
ummm you wanted an honest answer yet your penalizing the two who said no in your update... don't ask questions you don't want the answer to
Could it be I have a point? Even if the poll said yes I would date a guy, with a learning disability ever women here would still pick no.
your life sucks we get it stop ranting and trolling and get the f* over it. Something tells me its not your learning disability which keeps you from getting a girl its you attitude... ps I have a sister with a learning disability who has channeled her DIFFERENT intelligence into a positive medium, which is hairdressing. PLUS she has a loving boyfriend... Stop using your disability as a crutch and focus on some self improvement.
How do you expect me to get over it if it sucks? So what your saying is I should be an ass hole to you and other women then right? And FYI guys can give 2 sh*ts how stupid or smart a girl is, because we over look that. So your sister excuse is just stupid. Like I said its cute when a girl can't learn but its sad & pathetic when a guy can't learn.
I have dated a male with a learning disability. When I got to know him I didn't see him has somene that wasn't "that smart".
I marked you up! FIGHT THE DOWN RATERS!
Why would someone vote you down? Simple because your full of crap. Sorry but I doubt you'd had ever gone out with a guy who had a learning disability that's why.
Your so full of sh*t, and FYI dating your family members don't count. Like I said I don't believe you've ever dated anyone with a learning disability. Tell me why did you dump him? let me guess he wasn't smart enough I'm I right. And save the he dumped my bull sh*t too, because we both know, you dumped him.
I don't care what you believe. You're just an idiot not a superior power. I could careless about what goes through your pathetic mind. I don't date my family members, I fail to be an insecure whore like you! Who cares how our relationship ended, its none of your business. By the way I love your name it suits you :)
So basically I'm right you did dump him. See you can't even admit that because I'm right. I'm not worried because I doubt your good looking anyways. Sorry last time I checked only women like you were whores.
Depends on the learning disability. If he can't remember how to act like an ashhole then that's excusable :)
I could be wrong here but, it sounds like you only date a**holes?
Sorry ain't buying it try again.
It depends on the disability and the severity! Having a learning disability doesn't mean you're not smart.
yeah depending
So that's a big fat NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I think you want it to be a no so that is what you read. It depends on his condition.
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