Why do ugly women reject attractive guys at clubs?

[Anonymous]

Im a pretty attractive guy, I'm not some hot guy, but I'm definitely not average looking or ugly. Every once in a while I get asked if I do modeling or get suggested that I should for example.

I go clubbing, and I have been rejected by ugly women. It blows my mind. why do ugly women reject a guy who is above average? In fact, why are they rejecting any guy who isn't digusting for that matter? These are women who have no options because theyre fat and/or ugly, so I would expect them to be "taking what they can get".

These women are alone the whole night getting hit on by no one (Im the exception that would give them a chance), so I would think that would get them to figure out that theyre undesirable and need to settle for anything that comes along. And if someone a guy is above average, that is a catch of a lifetime for them, but they still turn their nose up.

Can anyone explain this for me please. This is some unbelievably irrational behavior right here.

Updates

+1 y

*Even though the title is talking about attractive guys getting rejected, theyre also rejecting average looking guys. This too is mind blowing. they should be accepting any guy who isn't disgusting.

[guy-101]

I have somewhat the same question and I'm a dude. However, when I think about it this is what I think:

1) She doesn't have high self-esteem and thinks she is ugly so if you seem attractive to her she imagines you must think she is easy and she doesn't want to act or think of herself as a slut so she has to reject you.

(Alternatively she may she herself getting somewhat attached to you but because she imagines you just want sex she foresees heartbreak).

2) All girls enjoy rejecting guys because it gives them an ego boost. The fact that she already has low self-esteem about her looks means she gets to feel pretty good about her value for a while because she rejected an attractive guy who came up to her and not the normal lame ones. In her mind she is thinking or perhaps unconsciously feeling, "He just wants sex so I have to reject him so I don't look like a slut but the fact he came up to me must mean I am more attractive then I thought. Yay for me!"

3) Hmmm...I had a third one but now I forgot it. Ah yes, this one is good. She thinks there is something wrong with you. It might sound weird at first but it actually makes a lot of sense. From the outside you look good so this girl assumes before you come up to her that you are an attractive alpha guy. Then you come up and start hitting on her. All the sudden she thinks "I'm not that attractive why is this guy who seems out of my league hitting on me? Only beta guys who always end up being worthless hit one me. This must be too good to be true. There must be something wrong with this guy. Maybe he looks good on the outside but he must be a beta male and something is wrong with him because I know I'm not the hottest girl here."

Alright there you have it. I've had the same experience of you so my rule is at the club: Don't hit on ugly girls. Just go for what you want.

[TheDigitalSaint]

The girl in question vastly overrates her own attractiveness. Also, in an environment where there are a lot of less-attractive or overweight girls, she might still have another chance with other guys who are willing to hit on her. Some girls like being flirted with strictly for an ego boost, not because they are genuinely interested. Pull out if you reach one of these girls and move on. She wasn't worth your time anyways.

[Asker]

so far the best answer. Your answer seems to make sense and is plausible. Ironic how a man answers this question better than the women. lol the women keep throwing out answers(the same dumb answer) that don't make sense and leave the question unanswered. I was really expecting the an insightful answer to come from the mind of a woman since its the women who are doing the rejecting...guess not.

[TheDigitalSaint]

The girls that responded may or may not use guys for emotional boosts. Some girls may genuinely not find you attractive, even if most do. Lastly, some girls may already have a boyfriend and as such, aren't interested in anyone, including you. Most girls are at least a bit solipsistic in nature, which makes it harder for them to relate to your position.

[Princesspower]

Its because they are bitter and they think that you're just using them.

Think about the other hot girls that tool ugly guys at clubs. They dance with them and play around with them on the dance floor because they are "safe".

They are all over him sexually, playing with his body and giggling. And the poor guy thinks she likes him.

Then he asks for the number and they freak out and leave.

Its the same sort of thing. They think the guy is being a sleazeball and they don't believe he is being genuine.

And sometimes its just because they are bitter and want to get back at men in general, it has nothing to do with you personally. It has everything to do with all the men that's treated her badly before you came walking up.

The solution is to be genuine with her, and make it to where she understands that you're just looking to have fun and not turn it into something more.

Or you can always just move on and talk to someone else. There are plenty of other women you can talk to.

I think uglier women have problems because hotter women get treated better, they see it and they hate it.

So when you talk to hotter women they are going to have better personalities "in general" than most uglier women.

But when you meet a hotter woman with a bad personality, its much worse than any uglier woman with a bad personality.

[Asker]

a good answer. It makes sense. definitely the best female answer so far..I find it strange how attractive women seem to be more likely to accept me than the uglies. My reasoning has always been that the more attractive a woman is, the pickier she will be due to having more options. reality doesn't seem to mirror this reasoning...

[Princesspower]

Attractive women know why you like them, and they accept it. uglier women either don't know or they assume you don't and they assume you're just using them.

The uglier a woman is the more she's been dumped or used for sex and thrown away. The hotter a woman is the more she's the one doing the dumping.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Some good points were made here. I do disagree with the hot women doing more dumping. A lot of it has to do with the fact that surprisingly, many very attractive girls have lower self-esteem. When you are really good looking, there is always pressure to look even better or be the hottest girl in the room. That leads to insecurity, hence why some really hot girls are actually more friendly. I dated a model for a year. She was easily one of the best looking and most insecure girls I know.

[Princesspower]

Most men are not going to want to dump a hot girl no matter how bad of a personality she has.

At least in my experience.

And yes, the hotter a girl the more insecure she is. It has to do with fear of losing what she has. She thinks her best quality is her looks and it gets her guys and if she's not looking her best then she's not worth anything and then she fears aging.

Whereas ugly women have just accepted their looks and try to move on.

[TheDigitalSaint]

For a few guys, yes, I think they'll stick around with the hot girl. But if they were capable of landing one hot girl, they can generally land another one, often with a better personality. I've done it first hand before, and seen other guys do it as well. Only lazy guys will stick around with a hot girl who is a pain in the rear. Excellent points otherwise, and I agree on those.

[Princesspower]

"But if they were capable of landing one hot girl, they can generally land another one, often with a better personality"

I agree., but the ratio of ugly women getting dumped is greater than the number of hot women getting dumped.

thats what my point was

[BlackCatAnon]

Ignoring the common stance of personality, types and character versus looks and so on– what makes you think the girl is fishing for someone anyway? Why does a girl, any girl, in a club automatically have to be there to hook up? Some people want to get lost in a crowd, meet friends their own age (note: friends), enjoy a social atmosphere whether or not participation occurs, or just forget about life outside of the background music and the drink in their hand.

And why on earth would you think another human being must 'settle' for anything they don't want? If I gave you a dead animal and said, "You won't find better fur anywhere," your first reaction likely won't be, "Oh goodness, you're right! I should take it home and clean it now..." Likely I'd get a strange look, perhaps some negative stilted conversation, and the interaction would end, with you sans dead animal.

There is absolutely nothing irrational about anyone turning down sexual advances that are unwanted, no matter the reason or circumstance. I may dare to venture and say, irrationality is your inability to accept that it can occur.

Simple answer to your question: "Because she really doesn't want anything to do with him" or, "She's not there to get picked up."

[lucky24]

great analogy :)

[Asker]

Your analogy is flawed. Not even close. The relevant characteristic of a dead animal to your analogy is that no one wants it. Not the case with me, my advances have been accepted by many and I've noticed that I'm far more likely to be accepted by attractive women than ugly women. Look, if it were the case that I'm just a delusional unattractive guy, wouldn't I be getting rejected by the hotties as much as the uglies if not more? I'm seeking insight into the ugly woman's mind on here for a reason.

[Asker]

And your simple answers fail to explain the observation that ugly women have a higher chance of rejecting me than attractive women. And one of your explanations is in fact a circular one. You're trying to say the reason the ugly girl wants nothing to do with me(ie. reject me) is "because she really doesn't want anything to do with me". Cute, but try again babe.

[Snow123]

I completely agree with BlackCatAnon's answer, so I only have one question to ask... If you are exceptionally good looking, then why are you approaching these women in the first place?

You say you're the "exception" and that you actually give these women a chance. But then you turn around here and talk about how ugly/undesirable/ and (or) fat they are... Last time I checked, a person who talks about "those" types of women isn't "giving them a chance", more like they're assuming that because these women are apparently ugly on the outside, they must then be obliged to accept and/or hook up with any hot stud who approaches them. That's called looking for what you think is going to be an easy f*ck.

[Anonymous]

Women are usually physically weaker so they can't afford falling in love based on just appearances. A man could be attractive but still be somewhat manipulative or physically abusive towards a woman.

Also, love cannot spring between people when a person is looking down on the other person.

Rather than trying to play the martyr in hopes of getting idolized by ugly women, find a woman with traits you like...

You can fall in love with unattractive women who have other attractive traits... like maybe she's ugly but she sings like Mariah Carey... or she's good at ballet or something... but... don't approach a woman "just" because you thing she's "ugly" and no one approaches her or something.

There are a lot of famous ugly women who are known solely for their other qualities... most people don't even treat these women like "ugly" women because they are "still" adding value in some way shape or form... and they don't have as much trouble getting laid as you would imagine them to have... On top of that ,,,,, they get approach by a lot of men with nice personalities who would treat them well because they see the value in them...

Never waste your time on people you cannot see the value in... Because you are wasting your time and their time... and all you'll do is make them have lower self esteem than they already have...

They deserve to be approached by someone who can actually appreciate their good qualities.

[ManaX]

Less attractive women do have standards which may not necessarily be about how attractive the guy is, but more about the type.

But anyway, who's to say it doesn't go the other way. Less attractive get less attention from more attractive/attractive men. They may face a lot of rejection/lack of attention, so when an attractive guy come's along why would they believe you are genuinely interested.

You are basically hinting it yourself, you're piking them because you think they should be easier, perhaps they can see through that. Perhaps you behavior when trying to pull them changes because you think they should be easy (and again they can see through that).

Also do you 'work the room'? Girls may reject a guy on those grounds alone.

[aMuse]

Because you don't know how to talk to them? I'm guessing it's your personality. If you think you can just approach them at the end of the night after all the other prospects have failed and be like here I am I'm better then you then you're probably doing something wrong. =P

[Asker]

and yet the women who didn't reject me were hot. Your explanation fails and my question still stands.

[aMuse]

Well obviously you are doing something wrong in their book. Different girls look different things. What you're offering works for some and not for others. Those are the breaks.

[WishingOnAStar]

Sir... you sound like the ugly one here. Beauty on the outside means nothing if it doesn't come from the inside as well.

Women have standards.

And believe it or not, your standard of ugly may not match up with everyone else definition of that. Someone out there probably finds that "ugly" girl to be thoroughly sexy.

[britannny]

Well, judging by this question, you seem like an a**hole. Women aren't attracted to guys that are obviously a**holes, no matter what they look like. And we can smell jerks like you from a mile away (at least I can, I guess I can't speak for other girls).

[upood]

Why are you hitting on an ugly woman, buddy? If she's not attractive to you then dont. Also, she probably is rejecting you because she knows you think she's ugly or because she's just not attracted to you... how attractive we are does not determine or guide who we find attractive. Hence why many beautiful girls are with average joes.

[Quadrophonic73]

what works with 8s, 9s, and 10s doesn't always work with 4s and 5s, and that goes for men AND women. some unattractive people think that attempts to pick them up are just a cruel joke. you have to be friendlier with them and make a connection before hitting on them.

[Anonymous]

I've a question to your question :p How was it actually going on? cuz I see lots of people saying that you are the jerk because she didn't like your personality and she just don't look at physics. It's hard to speak a lot in clubs the music is loud, most people are drunk. I want to ask before she reject you do you spoke a with her or does she really like reject you when you appraoched her? Cuz in the way she didn't even try to talk the thing about she looks at personality is all BS and clearly look for an ego boost.

[Jaybabe77]

Well honestly you sound like a jerk, so I can't blame them. Even though it may not seem believable, insert eye roll not every woman goes to the club to hit on/get hit on by guys.

[Asker]

where in this thread do I sound like a jerk?

[Jaybabe77]

Where you say it blows your mind that you are rejected by 'ugly" women, like they can't have standards and will jump at the chance to talk to a guy because he is decent looking, and they in your opinion are ugly. And if you don't think there's an issue when you think that the women should "take what they can get" I don't know what to tell you.

Also you sound like you are being a prick by saying you are the only guy you noticed to talk to them so they should realize they should settle. And I honestly don't believe no one is undesirable

[Becreative88]

I think the real problem you have is handling any kind of rejection. It's sad to hear you say you feel like these women were done a favor by you approaching them but it just confuses me. If you think they are so repulsive what do you want with them anyway? Wouldn't you think they rejected you outright because it's not likely an above average (so you say) guy would be interested in them for anything than desperate end of the night at the bar sex?

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Probably because they know you think they're ugly and unattractive so they don't want to be bothered with a guy who they know will just use them and treat them like trash.

[TomSlick]

Here's my theory. And anyone that knows me, well they know my theories always prove to be 100% true.

Here's what you said about yourself...I'm a pretty attractive guy, I'm not some hot guy, but I'm definitely not average looking or ugly.

Well there's your problem then. These ugly girls are looking for the real hot guys, and apparently you just aren't hot enough. Even you yourself say so. Don't you think these ugly girls can pick up on the fact that you're not hot enough? Obviously since you're trying to pick up on them, this implies to them that some of the prettier ladies are obviously not interested in you, otherwise you would have one of them all over you. So why would these ugly girls want to give you the time of day, when obviously no other girl is giving you the time of day? Clearly they just don't think you're hot enough, just like the rest of the ladies in the club feel the same way about you obviously.

[Asker]

And yet the attractive women are accepting me. Obviously if it was the case that I'm "just not hot enough", I could have figured that out myself. But the observation is that ugly chicks are regecting me and yet the more attractive ones are accepting me. Don't you think that's strange? Oh and my case is one of those times when your theories fail to be true. I bet your theory didn't predict the part about attractive women accepting me now did it? idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anybody else think that UrGfWantsMe is a fake profile? Just look at "her" profile, it's so obvious this person is just trying to bash women on here by pretending to be one himself, so people will take it more serious.

[Blubb]

I was think the exact same thing! haha

[Blubb]

*thinking

[Anonymous]

lol.

good looks and manners. what a gentleman. thanks for being the exception to these ugly women and approaching them.

get over yourself, because an ugly attitude is even less attractive than an ugly face.

[jay6994]

This is pretty funny. it's obvious. You aren't Brad Pitt or Chris Hemsworth.

[Asker]

Its funny and obvious that you are no Einstein or Newton. It's also obvious you suffer from reading comprehension problems too.

[Anonymous]

Maybe its just the reasons why you are approaching them , they probably know that you are approaching them just for a hook up and would never think of anything more than that , and they don't want just the hook up .

[justme20]

not everyone is going to find you attractive. they might find you below par yourself. beauty is in the eye of the beholder. just because you think your are attractive doesn't mean others will and vice versa

[Asker]

even if they did find me average looking or even ugly, by the fact that they themselves are ugly and would have to be aware of this as well of the lack of opportunities going their way, they should be taking what they can get. The question still stands and your explanation doesn't fit.

[justme20]

looks has nothing to do with preference or what someone wants in a partner. EVERYONE has standards

[Asker]

so your suggesting that its perfectly rational for an ugly women to have a standard where the guy must be at least average or at least cute when she herself is ugly and is aware that no men in the club are approaching her...Im talking about clubbing here, so obviously if she's rejecting the guy before getting to know him, looks were a decision making factor.

[justme20]

you have standards right? I mean you are calling them ugly when in fact a female might think the same about you. its perfectly fine. we ALL have standards

[Asker]

yeah, my standards are rational. I accept any woman who is in my league or better. I wouldn't reject a woman who is equally as attractive as me. Apparently you lack critical thinking skills because you are unable to see the problem with an ugly woman refusing to settle with ugly men.

[justme20]

as I stated before someone may find you ugly so therefore your standard to them with be an ugly female as well right? my statement still stands

[Asker]

"so therefore your standard to them with be an ugly female as well right?", OK I read that 3 times already and I'm still trying to make sense of it...you still haven't provided a logical explanation for why it is acceptable and rational for ugly women who have few options to reject ugly men holding out for better a better looking guy. The crux of your argument depends on that being rational behavior.

[Anonymous]

why do you ask out ugly girls? plenty of gorgeous women are so lonely because the hot men are all taken by the average easy bitches who walk around with their asses sticking in the air.

[Anonymous]

As an ugly woman, I don't trust any attractive guy who wants me. It's rare that it happens, but in the past when it did it was a joke. Those women probably think you're in on a cruel joke.

[CasaNorba]

since now a days clubs are places ran by women... even ugly chicks feel some type arrogance while they are in there

[Anonymous]

U sound like a ass so change your personality then maybe you will get somewhere

[Anonymous]

Warped perception of ones own attractiveness. Including the influences of environment, alcohol, other men and women present etc

[Asker]

lol, once again, another answer suggesting the problem is that I'm ugly. read my answers to the responses before you and think real hard about why there's a problem with an ugly woman who has no options rejecting an ugly guy(hey lets assume you're right an that I'm ugly).

[Anonymous]

because you're ugly too.. inside.

[Anonymous]

you suhh are a BABOON.

[jokersgirl]

maybe they think you're ugly

[Asker]

See my answer to justme20...and I'm average looking at worst. In that event, the fugly girl should feel lucky to be approached by an average guy. Like the answers before you, yours doesn't make sense.

[jokersgirl]

you sound so full of yourself.. which is a real turn off

[Anonymous]

Why do ugly guys reject attractive girls?

[Xx_DRE_xX]

Never!

[anonymousbastard]

That's because attractive girls, don't date ugly guys.

[Anonymous]

She found you ugly