My girlfriend has starved herself for 10 days!

[Anonymous]

So I was a bit suspicious about my girlfriend eating habits but recently I found out she definitely has a eating disorder, and I also find out she hasn't ate anything in 10 days I didn't even know it was possible.

She lies to everybody including me she tells her parents she already ate with me or with her friends, and with me she does the same. I finally confront her and she told me she hadn't ate for the last 10 days.

I'm really shocked and I tried to force her to eat but she start yelling and crying and left my house. I try to call her parents but they don't answer I'm really worried I don't know how to deal with this what should I do?

[madmisskelly]

I commend you for trying to get ahold of her parents, that is the right thing to do. Keep trying to get ahold of them, and if you can, get ahold of some of her friends. You need to try and get an intervention going to keep her from self destructing any further.

Eating disorders can be just as destructive as a drug habit. If you care about her, stay with her and help her through it. However, if she refuses help and continues down this path I suggest you leave. She will continue to lie and hide things from you, which isn't a healthy basis for a relationship. Again, if she were using drugs there would be no question-" get clean, try to get help or I'm gone." The eating disorder should be no different.

I can't stress enough to have support be your number one goal. Support her, listen and try all you can to get her help. But you also gotta let her know that if she doesn't get help that you can't watch her self destruct in that way. Let her know how it makes you feel. Same with her friends. Her friends need to tell her how her behavior affects them and they need to have a plan if she refuses help.

[jolee1]

im in recovery here. back to normal weight. She is going to have to want to change. BEST THING TO DO is don't get too involved, the only ones that can tell her to change without it afffecting their relationship is parents. I know you care but just let the parents know and ask to stay out of it. Otherwise she might hate you and leave you because of it. It becomes an addiction. Its likely she has been doing htis for a while it takes a while to build up to 10 days.

Good Luck.

my cousin had it too, instead of getting her help from the DR because she was stubborn. Her parents joined a gym with her. At first she was happy she didn't care that she would loose more weight. However because she couldn't do much at the gym because she had no energy she began to eat a little before each session ( she figured she would work it off). Soon she slowly got used to eating again. She now is skinny but a toned skinny and eats and works out healthily :)

[Allijackson]

I have bulimia and the best thing that's going for me right now is that my boyfriend is being super supportive makes me feel loved. She definitely needs help. Talk to her parents again and make SURE she gets help. But then you have to be with her! I know from experience an eating disorder is like a little monster inside you. It makes you lie and deceive. Remember that when she's being moody or defensive... It's not the real girl. Be patient. Sounds crazy but I think many people who have recovered from ED's would agree. It's a disease that can turn you into someone you're not- but she CAN recover. :)

[martyfellow]

Take here to a counselor or family friend or MD or anyone else she will listen to, she needs help. Drag her there if you have to. GEt help dragging her there if you have to. Start with her family, tell them the truth!

[TheUglyOne]

She hasn't eaten a single bite in 10 days? Dude, if that's true, she needs to get help ASAP! Three weeks without food is the typical dying point for most people.

[septimus]

she hasn't eaten...anything? :/ well, emotional/mental issues are at the root of eating disorders. something must be bothering her for her to control her diet like that. I know that when I get extremely stressed out and I feel like I don't have control over my life, I stop eating too. not eating = my way of proving to myself that I do have control over something. so maybe you can sit her down and just gently ask her what's wrong. don't yell at her, it'll only scare her away. let her know that you're worried about her and that you just want to help.

[LoveLust]

Call a eating disorder hotline and then confront her parents about it face-to-face. Starving yourself isn't good. She'll get pissed about what you did, but would you rather have an ex in recovery? Or a girlfriend who's hurting her body?

Call one of these numbers:

- 1-800-828-8158 - McCullum Place

- 1-630- 577-1330 - ANAD (Anorexia Nervosa and Associate Disorders)

- National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) 1-800-931-2237

Good luck! Please do call one of those, it can kill her.

[peace-love-couture]

I know people think that all of these websites and hotlines will help, but it won't. You can't force her to eat and you shouldn't pressure her. If you pressure her, she'll retaliate by continuing to not eat because she'll feel it's the only thing she can control.

Try talking to her. By talking to her, I mean not lecturing her and telling her what to do. Talk to her and listen.

[upood]

Do NOT try to force her to eat or get mad at her for it. This is beyond her, an eating disorder is a mental thing that's not easily controlled once you're in deep. Show genuine concern and offer solutions such as help centers, her doctor etc. But other than that this is her battle, unfortunately.

[posted]

I find it hard to believe she hasn't eaten ANYTHING in 10 days. She probably eats something at least but should go to her house and talk to her parents or something, she needs help.

[LoveLust]

It is possible, it's called becoming Anorexic.

[Stacyzee]

She needs professional help.

You yelling at her or telling her to eat is only going to make things worst.

She needs someone to be understanding.

[ivarei]

call her parents again, this is serious.