She thinks I'm trying to control her

Question

i have russian girlfriend, she loves me so much, and I feel the same to her, but she's driving me crazy, sometimes she said I'll do everything you want and sometimes she starts talking like she's someone else, and start telling things I never tried to do, like I'm trying to control her and trying to make her my pet, I never tried to do this, the last thing we argued about is when I said let me take a look to your Facebook account just to take a look, she started again saying talk about controlling and stuff and left, I say to her there should be nothing private or personal between us, but she keep seeing it as controlling,

i just don't know how to deal with her, its getting heavy on me really I don't wanna leave her but also I can't stand it when I see my girl keeping some things private, I'm always open with her, but she's not.

Transgressionista · Accepted Answer

well... why would you want to take a look at her FB account? (it does sound like trust and/or control issues on your behalf) if you are looking at it from your own profile sure that's normal...but if you are asking too look at it while she is logged in then sorry, you're just a snoop and asking your girl to let you do that is an attempt at control. Your girlfriend is her own person. It is only natural that she will keep some of her life private. Even married people have some aspect of their lives separate. Russian women especially (me being one) are used to being independent. We are taught from a young age to not rely on men and do our own thing, and when a man tries to weasel himself into our everyday private life, especially against our will, we see that as a threat and will reciprocate defensively. Best advice, stay out of her personal accounts and let her have her space. If she wants to share something with you she will do it herself. If it really does bother you that she has a life outside of you, then move on because it will not change and the fights will only get worse.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I do agree that when your a couple you don't have any private stuff, I'm also an open book with my Boyfriend because their is nothing to hide or anything wrong that I'm doing to jeopardize the relationship. I think that it might be a cultural thing, and communication should be something you need to do. Tell her that you're 100% open and share everything with her and expect her to do the same and its disappointing not seeing it happening. Tell her your not trying to control her but know more about her, Also I think that if she's not giving you access to some of her stuff she might be hiding something, Why would some over react when there is nothing to worry about it.