I feel she's holding me back, help?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating my girlfriend for a bit more than three years (since senior year in HS, I'm 2nd year college now) the thing is that she's awesome and sweet and the nicest girl ever but ever since we began re-dating (we had been going out before for a couple months then broke up) I have slowly lost contact with many of my friends, I have come to realize that I tell her what I'm doing all the time and if I don't she calls me to ask me what I'm up to, but in such a nice way that it doesn't seem bad. There are times we hang out and say nothing to each other for what seems eternities. I sometimes feel she's there just to be there, like it makes me feel controlled but in a very sneaky way. I really want to meet new people and have adventures in other cities or places, but she's not like that and she gets really jealous even if she doesn't show it. We've had rough times when we are on the brink of breaking up and we both know that the next words out of our mouths should be "this isn't working out anymore" but somehow we never get to them. Maybe because we have become such close friends...but its weird. I don't want to loose her as a friend, but I have no idea what to do with the relationship situation. It gets pretty tough. ...any advice or Help?

[prophecy]

this is one of the crucial mistakes that many men do in a relationship - they don't maintain certain *healthy* distance. they neglect friends and social life because they so enjoy being with a woman. sure, it can be all warm and dandy at the beginning but you see what happens after some time. after that initial passion fades away you *need* other people in your life and you *need* some other exciting ways to spend your time.

that's why you need to be disciplined. you need to manage your time from the very beginning of the relationship - how much time you're gonna dedicated to her and when. even if you feel like you can spend every second with her, you shouldn't. it's not good.

"There are times we hang out and say nothing to each other for what seems eternities." - this is a perfect example what happens when you spend too much time with a woman.

you also need to set certain boundaries - your time is *your* time, your interests are *your* interests. and if you're bouncing around with friends or spending some alone time she *needs to know* to keep her irritating mouth shut. if there's an emergency, sure, you're always there for her, but she needs to know that you don't deal with her nagging and japing about nonsense.

and you failed to do that, buddy. failed. you f***ed yourself in the ass - hard. now she's *used* to do this stuff and you *allowed* that to happen. this is *your* fault.

"Maybe because we have become such close friends...but its weird." - another crucial mistake is being "a friend." sorry, pal, your girlfriend is not your friend, she's your *girlfriend.* women are really caught up in this fantasy that their boyfriend/husband should also be their best friend. wrong. not good, not healthy.

again, you need to set boundaries - for yourself this time. there are things you do *only* with your friends and things you talk *only* to your friends about. friends are your support system not her. nag friends about problems, whine to them, cry on their shoulders, ask them for favors, etc. not her.

you need to be in top shape and mental state for your woman. you shouldn't hang out with your woman if you can't bring something exciting to the table. got that? remember this last sentence for the rest of your life. engrave it in your brain, buddy.

and again you failed to do that, buddy. you f***ed yourself in the ass - again.

let this post be for future reference when it comes to relationships. I can't give you any good advice how to solve this situation, because it's already over, even if you haven't realized it yet.

[wolfberry]

maybe I kinda like your girlfriend.i always call my boyfriend and ask what he is doing,who is he with ,and where is he,i've been keep asking him for almost two years,if anygirl come near to him,i will be jealous .but we both love each other,and we have no privacy which you may not believe,he knows everything about me and so do i.so you see,our relationship goes quite well,maybe you should reconsider the relationhip between you and her as ,after all ,two years is not a short time.

[Lighthammer]

You're a stalker, lady. You're admittedly jealous and always checking up on him, and if he tolerates he, he's most likely a simp anyway.

[Lighthammer]

You're a sucker. Hoist your cock and split!