If a guy 21 years old, still single, never had a girlfriend, is he a pathetic excuse for a human being?

[moviedude714]

That's why I joined this site, hoping I can get some advice and opinions. Anyway, I am a 21 year old guy, I've never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, well kinda because I have kissed girls before, made out, and last summer I experienced oral sex for the first time, I performed it and I received it, but I did not go all the way, no penetration, but all these physical experiences, I had it going easy for me because either the girls made the first move, took the initiative, or some of my guy friends set me up, like I have never had any physical contact with a girl in which I initiated it, so I kinda feel those experiences do not count. Anyway, I have never had an official girlfriend, I don't have any ex's, which I wish I did. I feel it is too late for me to have my first girlfriend, since almost everyone has their first boyfriend/girlfriend during the teenage years, and in high school. I feel it is too late to start dating. What should I do? Is it hopeless? I don't believe that there is someone out there for everyone, that is a bullsh*t phrase!

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If a guy is not good with women, has a hard time talking to them and approaching them, striking up a conversation, is he never going to get better? Do guys have to instinctively know how to approach and talk to women, flirt with them correctly?

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like is every guy born with those skills? are those skills not practiced or learned?

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am I going to get any answers?

[Anonymous]

Please calm down. There is nothing wrong with you and you will meet someone when the time is right. Just because your friends have had girlfriends and you haven't does not mean there is anything wrong. It is natural and happens to a lot of people. You are still very young and have plenty of time to date. The right person has just not come along for you yet.

Also you sound quite tense and seem like you are trying to hard to meet someone. Because you are doing this the chances of meeting someone are a lot less and you are taking the fun out of it. Dating is a game and it is meant to be fun and about learning.

Just calm down and relax. Have fun with your friends and keep your self busy and when you least expect it you will meet someone. It could also be worth you getting a hobby or joining some clubs - That will give you a good chance of meeting someone and it will be someone who you share interests with.

The other way to do it if you feel you are not confident is internet dating. This is a very in thing to do and as long as you are sensible and don't give out your personal details it is safe. It is a fun way to do it and you can search for people who share simular interests to you and meet your requirments. It also means you can build up the relationship and confidence online before meeting them in person.

You are not perfetic, there is nothing wrong with you and you will be fine so please stop putting yourself down. I know people who are older than you that have only just started dating and they are fine and you will be too.

[moviedude714]

So you know people that did not have their first boyfriend/girlfriend until they were 21 or older? Because it doesn't seem normal, it seems an overwhelming majority have their first in high school, or the teen years.

[DianaWest]

calm down buddy. you're making me feel anxious, since i am about to be 21 in a few months and never even so much as held a guy's hand. at least you had experiences. i had nothing. the farthest i went with a guy was a 2 second hug and a high five (he initiated). it was friendly, he had a girlfriend.

[May1987]

Of course not; why would you think such a thing? Those "skills" will come naturally; they do not take long to learn...

And in some countries, people don't even kiss until they marry, so a lot of people are walking around in their 20s who have never been kissed or been sexed or have even held someone's hand from the opposite sex and it's totally normal!

Btw. You're only 21. I know lots of guys that age who have done NOTHING because they're focusing on getting their lives together first.

[jesskah]

Dont feel hopeless; the guy I am chasing right now is also 21, and less experienced than you! It is not too late for you, I find the innocence very intriguing! I am sure others do too, don't be afraid... girls look for more than good sexual performance. I'm sure you have lots going for you :)

[moviedude714]

Well I am happy that you are chasing him, I wish girls would pursue guys more often, even if the girl still wants the guy to ask her out, I wish girls would give more obvious hints and signs that they like the guy. Because the way I see it is, a lot of guys don't ask the girl out because they think the girl is not interested when in reality, she really is.

[AngryNes]

I'm gonna be straight up honest with you: I'm gonna be 21 next January and I've never had a girlfriend in my life. But you what? I'm having the time of my life! Enjoy your singleness while you still can. Life on this earth is like a water vapor, as soon as it is created it disappears. At your age you should be traveling, exploring, meeting people, having adventures, having fun, enjoying life.

Think about it: Say you find someone at your age and you settle down, I'm pretty sure you're going to start thinking about the things you wish you would've done but you can't. Why? Cause you tied yourself down! I know plenty of people who have gone through divorces and relationship problems because of the simple fact that they settled down too early (these same people are the ones who come up to me and envy me for my singleness!) And it's not entirely your fault, these days the world just seems to keep pushing this propaganda on young people, and it's not true, it's just a lie to keep you from enjoying your time here.

So if I had any advice for you it would be this: You're still young! You have barely a clue of how the world works. So go out there and find out how it does. Go on adventures, do things, meet people, and who knows, along the way you may find that special lady that you'll spend the rest of your life with. And you know what, when you're older and you have kids with your old lady, maybe you can tell them about the wonderful things you did while you were young...

[Anonymous]

Dude, you just need to get some game. Check out the PUA community particularly Gambler and Mystery and build your confidence up to speak to women. Even better, check out episodes of the Pick Up Artist on VH1 to get an idea of what you need to do and then start trawling through material and getting out there and build up your confidence in talking to women.

Women will probably slam me for it but seriously, once you watch that show and start applying the simple rules in your life, you won't believe how much it actually works...

Good luck

[moviedude714]

So it takes or took practice for every man?

[Opinion Owner]

Some guys are born with a natural confidence with opposite sex, the other 97% have to work at it. Everything you try or learn to do takes time & practice but try throwing yourself in the deep in & going outside your comfort zone. It will be difficult at first but once you get into it, after a month or so you'll be lady killing all over the place

[moviedude714]

Girls have it so much easier because all they have to do is approve of the date and relationship.