My ex says I can talk to him anytime?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend and i just broke up recently-more like yesterday. he was crying, and says it takes a lot for him to cry and he says he's never done this before, i asked if this means we dont speak to each other ever again, but he told me that i can message or call him anytime, im not sure what he means, is he just being nice? he sounded really genuine though.

[SammieeHarris]

You can look at it anyway really. He still want's to keep in contact with you so that's alright depending though why you did break up though...maybe it wasn't working I don't know would help to have more information. to me it just looks like he still wants to be friends and just re-start and go slowly maybe you both went to fast but still got strong feelings...but going to fast can stuff everything up...Sounds like he's a nice guy though don't over look it, just keep in contact

[Asker]

we definitely did not go fast for sure, we went super slow, we broke up because he's a bartender and works 4 nights in a row and all he does is work sleep then go back to work, then he has uni and has hardly time for study and to do his own things. he says he hardly sees his friends and wants to meet new people, but i tol dhim i never once stopped him from doing that. he says he can't give me what i deserve cause he feels bad when he doesn't reply to my messages sometimes but i know he's just busy.
i just, i mean i understand he wants time to himself, but i dont get it i mean, he was also trying to find solutions to how to fix this but then i think he's just confused and gave up.
after we broke up he sent me a text saying 'blah blah never accept anyone that does not put in the same amount of effort as you do, never take less than you're worth'. i told him ill always be here and always care for him.
idek the crying part got me

[SammieeHarris]

Look sounds like he really cares for you...he would only cry because he cares and really likes you still...sounds like my friend peter he has the same thing going on and a girlfriend BUT he still sees her now and again but she wants more yet he can't give that to her. this guy really respects you and you respect him...just say same thing along the lines with what you said " I will still be there and if things work out after your study maybe we can work something out" but still if you come across a guy you end up feeling for go with it keep a open mind

[Asker]

i guess thankyou for the help though, i feel like i should try and move on from him he says that what i told him like ill always care for you even though we're no longer together, he says it meant a lot to him. i never knew someone would actually care about me that much so thats why im all emotional. he also menntions like he noticed i sell myself short and hesl ike never sell yourself short of your intelligence because one of the reasons why we were together is cause you're actually a really smart person.

i guess ill have to move on eventually, my friends say he'll most likely regret breaking up with you once he clears his head.

should i leave it for now, never talk to him again or still keep in contact?

[SammieeHarris]

I can understand what you mean when you find a guy that cares about you so much you don't want to let go and start all over. I really understand...We both know that he cares about you that's for sure...but look id stay friends if you end up finding a guy that's right with you don't drop everything for him because he is the one that let you go in the first place...just stay as close friends, yes may be hard if you have feelings and you have them moments were you both laugh giggle etc. But do what makes you happy you are going to have these moments bad times and good times...you will be ok trust me just takes a little time to move on if you study or something that will help it will keep you busy

[Asker]

okay thankyou so much for your help

[SammieeHarris]

all good happy to help.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he has mixed feelings about the breakup. I have found that when a relationship ends, a clean break is best.

[Asker]

this is a personal thing but ihate not being able to explain myself, i want ot meet up with him this week so i can explain my thoughts on it, and stuff to him, tell him ill always be here for him et etc but i want to do it in person-this so i can beg him to come back to me, its just so i can make myself feel a lot better. i duno if i should do this or not...

[Asker]

wait mistake, this isn't so i can beg him to come back to me****

[Anonymous]

He might be hoping that he can get back together with you down the line.

[Asker]

but he sounded really confident that we won't though, he was like you can go find someone new now, or like go explore, or like go do your own things, i won't be in your way anymore and stuff like that, unless that was his way of hiding it? but the crying part and he also texted me after saying i dont deserve a dick like him, he can't give me what i deserve cause he's just so busy, etc etc, he told me to never accept anyone who puts in less effort and never take less than you're worth.
i feel like we still have strong feelings for each other, but he realised he has those strong feelings and probably freaked out so he ended it. i dont know

[Opinion Owner]

I always think that when a person starts being self-deprecating like that it's all a bunch of bravado to cover up their feelings.

I bet if he saw you with a new man tomorrow, he'd be as angry as hell, so I wouldn't believe a word of what he's saying.

What are you going to do about the situation? Keep in contact or wipe the slate clean and move on?

[Asker]

i told him we'd always catch up and see how we're going, and he agreed. since we broke up yesterday, its best if i just leave it for now, wait a few weeks or month or so before we catch up and meet up i guess.

i guess ijust have to move on because if he doesn't want it, then there's no point in forcing it hmm

[Opinion Owner]

I think he'll come running back to you.

[Asker]

he also says that i sell myself short of my intelligence and he thinks that I've put way too much effort into this relationship than him, and he can't do more. my friends think that he'll regret this decision once he clears his head.

just the part when he was crying cause he hardly ever gets upset about anything, made me even more emotional ahhaha

[Opinion Owner]

Well I get emotional when I see someone crying, so you're not the only one! I think your friends are probably right.

[Asker]

ahh i guess, ill have to move on, you know incase he doesn't think it'll work anymore so yeah..it'l be hard but i guess this would happen in my life at some point. thanks for the help though :)

[Opinion Owner]

No worries.

Best of luck to you.

[CommieDearest]

Don't. It's always a bad idea.

[Asker]

true