Could my ex be hiding something from me or lying to me?

[Anonymous]

Me and my ex broke up over a month ago. One reason was because he was graduating and he'd be moving around far away for awhile with his career and doesn't want to drag me into something like that. Another reason was because he was afraid of long-term commitment (at a long distance from my understanding) and he said that he wouldn't be ready for years because his biggest fear is growing up and that's what people do when they grow up. He also promised that he won't be interested and/or dating anybody else when he graduates in December and that he didn't want me to ever worry about it. He knows I'll cut him off if he breaks that promise. He said he did it early because he didn't want to lead me on and also because he still "really really" wants me around. He said this because he said I'm an incredible girl and all around person, his friends love me and I'm the only girl who can actually tolerate him and his personality and do things that nobody else would want to do. He also said that if he did break up with me right before he graduated, he knew that he wouldn't be able to be my friend. He promised me those were the only two reasons, there weren't problems with me or the relationship and to never overthink it.

But recently he told me that he isn't graduating at all anymore because of an incident. I tried asking him about our relationship and if those promises still stand last week, and he got angry (not the first time we've talked about it) and said that I need to quit overthinking and making things harder than they need to be. He said he does the same thing and that's why he goes crazy when he's not working. He also said that I need to quit thinking about things like that because it's not worth my time and I need to focus on the future, not past.

So did he lie to me about this whole thing or what? It's all making me rethink why I'm still his friend as of right now though I still love him.

[bohemiancleopatra]

i think he kept his promise and its hurts him that you would think the worst of it when he clearly promised to not get into anything i think he's really stressed and worried about his future and get rather focus on his right now first like his career and college before he thinks about getting into anything i do believe when he's ready to get into a relationship he will with you but you half to be supportive and not add on any stress by overthinking his promise he made to you try to help him in reaching his goals and dreams and career and stay close by helping and then think about having a relationship after that he seems like he is overwhelm with so much in life and needing to be done in it so be patient with him because ik he has feelings for you still and would want to be with you after his college stuff is over with or until he gets stabled as a adult first

[Asker]

I have thought about that too. I know I've had trust issues in my past and can't keep putting that on him because in our relationship he did nothing wrong. He didn't treat me terrible but he could have treated me better too (I'm was first "real" girlfriend). He told me recently he doesn't even care about graduating anymore though and that's what made me mad. But I have been recently supporting him with whatever he does and I told him I won't judge him if he chooses not to graduate. I know he might need me more than anything in his life right now whether he realizes it or not so I am going to help him with whatever. I know this is just a rough patch for me and him and it's just something for us to get through, with whatever happens. We basically hit it off from the moment that we met and we never fought during our relationship. He said I became his best friend and doesn't want to leave me or anything we had behind and that he's not leaving my life, which he know I feared. & from

[Asker]

when he was breaking up with me, he was almost in tears. I know that because his voice was shaky and I've tried to hold back from crying when talking around people in the same voice. Me and him are actually the same person in some sort, at least I think. When we talked about the breakup recently after that, he was also shaky, trying to hold back his tears. So I knew that I at least meant something.

[bohemiancleopatra]

ik he cares about you but guys go threw as much stress as us girls do ik how he feels and you feel i feel so overwhelm and its hard when your the one trying in a relationship and supporting him to do what he wants but he doesn't know what to do at all he could be overwhelm with so much all you can do is help him by being there and let it developed into more don't force a relationship on him ik he cares enough to get back with you in a heartbeat i just think he's really stressed and overwhelm with so much just like any other person but i wouldn't worry sweetie because his heart is set on you but school and work can be stressful on a person