Have u guys ever entered a friends with benefits situation wanting more from the girl?

[Anonymous]

So my friends with benefits said from day 1 he doesn't want a girlfriend. I found out through friends and family, that it's because he's been hurt, and he's painfully shy. Since before we entered fwb, at my request, we were friends for about a year. He shows me signs of attraction, I. e. staring dreamily, checks me out, invites me to hang out, invites me to family functions. When we are hooking up, it's like the 4th of July, everytime, it never fails and we've been at it for a couple years. So I am wondering. Is it possible to uphold this type of relationship in the long run. Do guys enter them at any point, not fully understanding themselves and what they want? Any site of communication in regards to the matter, and he seems to want to run away. But he talks to his closest friends, who relay information to me. I really do like the guy, but have to safe guard my heart too. So what to do? Should I quit him? I am so addicted to him, but I feel like we are at a point, where we need some adjustments. Please help! I feel like I am lowering myself if I stay committed in a friends with benefits situation, but I also do t want to hurt him, if I need to move on. And I don't want to lose anything that I could have with him either.

[Ace117]

A girl and a boy can never stay just friends, sooner or later they do get feeling for each other. if not then they are mentally not normal. a doctor has told me this.

they both will agree to just stay friends to avoid loosing each other which in fact deep down their heart one of them really cares for other, and its mostly the Boy. when he shows little affection the girl falls for him. and the love story begins.

those guy who just talk dirty or sex think with their sex orgasm not brain. today women are seen more as sex objects than lovable, cuddly fairies.

[Asker]

I like that scenario. And yes with him it is more than sex. We do a lot more than that, and are heavily involved in each other.

[Ace117]

you both are in deep love but dont want to admit it to each other.

[Asker]

Lol I don't think so. He ignores me all the time!

[Ace117]

maybe because he has a criteria in his mind of a girl whom he desires to be with which are too far from reality or chances of finding one or simply having other priorities.

[Asker]

Okay I will take that into consideration.

[Ace117]

dont jump into telling him you love him, or that you know he loves you and dont want to admit it. he will find it hurting as he will be thinking that what he feared is happening.

[Asker]

What he feared? What falling for me, or me falling for him?

[Ace117]

he might be having a fear that one day you both will be in a relationship which both of you will be comfortable, and like anyother relationships they have ups and downs and breakup in the end, and dont talk to each other. he fears loosing you.

if i was you i would not get involve in any sexual activi

[Ace117]

i didn't fish last comment,
if i was you i would not get involve in any sexual behavior with him.

[Asker]

Just leave it as it is. Just friends. Why? Do I need to see if he'll committ first?

[Ace117]

thats what i am trying to tell the other way round.

[Asker]

So stop all sex, and try to go at again like we just first started dating?

[Ace117]

look, some men desire more sex, some desire more love, some both, and it varies from man to man, if a woman gives him what he wants, he will keep her for some time, and later get bored of her, and moves on to other woman.

[Asker]

Hmm ok I see

[Anonymous]

I say stick at it his feelings might change but there is nothing wrong with leaving longer you stay more it will hurt in the end

[Asker]

So u think I have a chance at it? I'm being super careful not falling into it because I want to keep my heart and my mind safe!

[Opinion Owner]

Yes I was in the same places as you then he said he loved me one day and it lasted 2 years so dont give up

[Asker]

R u still together?

[Opinion Owner]

No he couldn't keep it in his pants

[Asker]

He cheated on u?

[Asker]

So basically u were better off not pursuing him.

[Opinion Owner]

There not all the same

[Asker]

Yeah, but it sounded like it was a great thing for u and worked, but then he wondered. Now I'm wondering. Maybe that's why he won't tie me down. :[

[Opinion Owner]

It might work you never know unless you try

[Asker]

Yeah true

[Anonymous]

I was in a friends with benefits situation for 5yrs and I fell for the guy and from the beginning we both said if we started having feeling we would stop but I couldn't stop I didn't tell him how I felt but he started telling me that he missed me and shortly after that started I told him I couldn't see him anymore its not that I wanted to hurt him but he always told me that he could never see himself in a relationship with me and at that point I had to stop

[Asker]

Why didn't u go for it if u already had feelings for him?

[Opinion Owner]

I was basically his go to when he was broke up with his kids mom so I figured he was just telling me he missed me cuz he thought I wanted to hear it 5 months after I told him I didn't wanna friends with benefits relationship with him anymore he married his baby mama

[Asker]

That's just crazy. At least he waited for u to break up with him. He probably loved both of u, and was trying to make a decision, and u just helped him make that decision. :(

[Opinion Owner]

Well I hoped it was for the best they have 3 children together and I found a amazing man and a real relationship

[Asker]

Kudos I hope all works out for u! Gl.

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you