Why do guys stare at me on the tube?

[woohoo_friday]

I'm in London for a while and I've been using the tube to get around, obviously. I've noticed that guys around my age tend to get on and sit down and then just either constantly stare at me, or are constantly looking over at me. I spend most of my life trying not to draw attention to myself so I spend these tube rides with my ear buds in, my music playing, and I'm staring at my hands or at the ads on the tube the whole time.
I'm not flirting, I'm not doing or saying anything interesting, I'm literally trying to blend in as best as I can. I'm not even particularly attractive or anything. They never do anything about it either. Just look and look and look until they get off at their stop. So can someone explain to me what the deal is, because it makes for a rather intimidating and uncomfortable ride to have someone staring at you the whole time.
The women keep to themselves, and the older men even keep to themselves. So basically this whole thing confuses me, haha

[MrMuffinMan]

An interesting insight into the life of a girl. You might find it easier if you find some way to invite them to come over and talk with you as at least you won't have to have them glaring at you the whole time and you might make a new friend which is always nice.

If you really want to have guys mind their own business a couple tips might be. Keep in mind that I am a girl and just throwing out random untested suggestions based on how I think I would react if I was the guy.

You could say something rude like, umm can I help you? Then the guy will probably retaliate and try to avoid eye contact. It might be awkward afterwards though

Travel with a male friend who understands this and if a guy starts eyeballing you you could reach for your male friends hand and squeeze it or pretend to whisper something in his ear. Then the guy will feel like you are already taken. If the guy is a big muscular guy then even better as the other guy will likely feel intimidated.

I am not sure if this would work, it might actually gather more attention. But you could try wearing a burka the guy will not be able to tell if you are attractive or not and may see you as unattractive since he is probably not a part of that culture hence if you were Muslim would hold different values, ideas and ideals than he does. It also says that you are exceptionally modest maybe already taken and he won't expect you to be the kind of girl he could easily pick up.

Wear a sleeping mask or painted sunglasses so you can't see anything around you. Then just sit back and listen to music. It would make it easier to ignore them. You could quite easily lose track of where you are though and miss your stop so be careful.

[Toocooltoadmitit]

I'm guilty of doing this on the tube, I'll sit there, I'll look around and and through boredom I'll look around the carriage and I always see at least one gorgeous looking girl on the carriage and I'll give her a thorough inspection before jumping off at my stop and then the girl is immediately forgotten about.

Guys tend to do it just to pass the time. I can see why you will find it creepy or discomforting.

[emmabee11]

Guys are guys... they stare at women all the time... lol i get stared at all the time too by men even when i'm a over-weight girl lol men just love any chance to conqure, i know it can get annoying but you just got to ignore it... they can't all date you all at once, i don't think it ever occurs to men how many men we get staring at us every day.

[woohoo_friday]

The thing is though, I have perfected the art of flying under the radar and going unnoticed... Or at least I thought I had until I got to London haha
In every other situation nobody notices me and for the most part, I like it that way. That's why I'm so confused at this sudden attention.

[emmabee11]

You sound like me lol but honestly at some point you will start to want to be noticed like i did, this invisible phase doesn't last forever trust me... the reason they notice you is because your different to other girls they sense that but id be careful they aren't looking for just 1 thing ether (and most the time they are too), you think people don't notice you but they do... just you want to feel invisible because people treat you like you are... but really they still notice your there... that's how it is socially, they only pretend they don't see you to make themselves look good to not give other people the impression they know you... believe me i get the same being different to other girls, but clearly from being the butt end of jokes a lot they do notice you so don't you think they don't. I know how it feels when you can't believe it when someone actually does notice you because for so long most peopel treat you like your not really there.

[Jahnnavi]

Guys will be guys I guess. They just love looking at attractive girls. And they probably find you attractive that's why they stare. Or another probability might be is that they have got no work to do. That's why for time pass they stare at girls in the tube.

[sfauo]

I ride the train everyday, and it must be very annoying to be a girl in the train! Besides seeing what you've experienced, the whole staring thing, I've seen guys do much direct and worse things unfortunately.

I'll give you my perspective as a guy. I notice everyone on the train, and yeah I will look a bit more at a girl I think is cute. However, I don't stare as I consider it to be rude, plus I'd be a bit embarrassed to be caught!

So from these guys that are staring until they get off the train, I think they're just unaware of how uncomfortable they're making you and are just looking at girls to pass time, amongst other ideas. Again, an unfortunate aspect of the train experience for women I suspect.

[woohoo_friday]

Looking to pass the time, that makes sense, I guess! But seriously, bring a book or something haha

[sfauo]

I agree. Ever experienced this in Canada?

[woohoo_friday]

Nope, which is why I find this so odd.

[sfauo]

Maybe a cultural difference? Where London men don't feel it to be rude.

[woohoo_friday]

I'm still working on figuring out Londoners, but so far I'm finding that they're surprisingly different from Canadians in several ways, so that could very well be it.

[broadsword]

You are a pretty woman and guys can't help look at pretty women. As you have posted you are a feminist so it is in your natural to not want to be looked at in this way. Please don't feel threatened or intimidated by it it's normal girl guy thing.

[woohoo_friday]

It's not that I don't want to be looked at "that way" - it has nothing to do with me being a feminist, and everything to do with me being uncomfortable being the center of attention. Made worse if I don't now why it's happening.

[broadsword]

Ok then let me put it another way. You are attractive and guys cannot help them selves we are programmed to admire a pretty woman. The fact that you try to blend in and ignore people means that it makes you was it to look at because they think you don't notice them looking at you. I did not mean to offend I think feminism is a good thing women need confidence and equality.

[woohoo_friday]

Makes sense, I guess. I'm just not used to it.

[broadsword]

Are you relatively new to tube traveling?

[woohoo_friday]

Uh, well I use public transportation all the time at home, but I'm new to it in London. This definitely doesn't happen to me in Canada though, which is why I find it so confusing.

[broadsword]

Yes that's all it is be confident you are safe.

[ItzDizzY]

Well it's hard to avoid eye contact with people, especially on the tube as it's most likely cramped during the rush hours and there's no empty space to look at so I tend to look on the ground or just look at other people to freak them out lol.

[woohoo_friday]

Ohhhhh, I see how it is. Tsk tsk tsk... :P
Personally I am an expert at avoiding making eye contact haha

[woohoo_friday]

But I guess I can understand the appeal of freaking people out hehe

[ItzDizzY]

People do find staring uncomfortable but for me I don't find it uncomfortable at all :P

[woohoo_friday]

Well then you are clearly more powerful than the rest of us mere mortals, and I bow down to you :P

[ItzDizzY]

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[witchprincess]

Guys like looking at attractive girls. That's all lol.

[meatballs21]

People on public transit in the UK don't stare any more or less than people in Canada.

They fink you is fit, innit.

[woohoo_friday]

Psh, I beg to differ. I've never gotten attention like this in Canada

[meatballs21]

I can't explain it then, I've never noticed a difference.

[woohoo_friday]

Well you're a guy haha

[meatballs21]

Wow, was that a veiled "and not a very hot one, who'd check you out?" :p

Anyway, try to be flattered by the attention if the guys are nice looking.

[woohoo_friday]

Haha noooooo, it was just a "you're a guy and therefore there's less of a chance that you'd fully be able to understand being creepy on and stared at" :P

Eh, I just get nervous and awkward. Oh well haha

[meatballs21]

No problem. Watch out for British guys trying to 'pull you' if you ever go out drinking on the weekend.

[woohoo_friday]

Oookay, I will stay alert haha
(it'd probably be easy just cause of that accent...)
(just kidding)
(kinda)

[meatballs21]

Ugh, having your accent fetishized is just annoying and shallow.

[woohoo_friday]

Well sorry, I just think it sounds really nice. Don't think I'm "fetishizing" it though... I'm not stupid.

[meatballs21]

They might fetishize yours - and they'll also probably ask, and I quote, "Where in America are you from?"

[woohoo_friday]

I'd probably laugh at them and walk away haha
I don't know though, I don't think it'd bother me too much. Not if someone commented on it or whatever. Hasn't happened yet anyway.

[meatballs21]

It will. I have over a decade of experience of being asked that stupid question in the UK. It's the lamest conversation starter ever.

[Punkbuster107]

I'm a yankee, and I'd like to help you, but I haven't got a clue what a "tube ride" is. Hahah.

[kangy]

Train ride. In uk they call it tube

[meatballs21]

*Subway rides only.

[Jonzor]

It is basicly the London Underground, the oldest underground in the world. :)

[Anonymous]

A feminist wanting to control mans eyes.. nothing new hear.

[Tombstone1000100]

maybe you dress like shit?
jk

[Anonymous]

Well, why not?