Some people like the attention even if they never plan (or want to act on it).
I don't know, it seems like a lot of people think that flirting outside of the relationship is healthy. People think it can be good for the relationship, even, which seems strange to me.
I am the kind of person that is comfortable and confident I'm relationships, and I'm totally not the super jealous type at all. That said, I don't care for the friendly flirting thing at all. Of course he can be nice and helpful, but deep down he knows whether or not he's doing it to solicit that kind of attention from these girls.
I think you should just tell him what you're comfortable with and what works for you, and make him understand how you feel about it. Maybe the flirting is totally innocent for him, but for you it is not, and that's OK.
I don't know why people think flirting is harmless. It's not the worst thing he could do, there is plenty worse, but it's a betrayal to seek attention in such a manner from other women.
Why does he do it? Because it's good to feel desired.
That's a dangerous thing.
It's dangerous because he might ended up cheating? or something else?
It's dangerous because he's seeking the same sort of attention from others that he gets from you...
I'm not saying that he will or will not cheat. I'm simply saying everything has a beginning. To me there are simply a couple of things you do not do while in a relationship. One of which is open flirting with others (indirect display of interest) and another is offloading your problems onto someone of the opposite sex (makes yourself vulnerable and increases intimacy).
What you said is enlightening, good thing is he would back off as soon as he gets that kind of attention from that person. So he always comes back to me. I also made him delete his Facebook and he did without complaining. I just know he still flirts with co worker and clients
But how do you know he hasn't? Someone who tries to prove to you that they are nice to women then back off usually are hiding something he is trying to make you trust him so that if anything ever did arise you would never believe it because you have witnessed first hand him being flirty and helpful to women but never proceeded to show affection he probably most likely said ohh im sorry om with my gf i was just trying to be helpful im a nice guy!!! Or told you don't be silly its you iam with and proceeded to tell you I was only being helpful because blablabla i have no interest in anyone else. Why would I do that right infront of you im a nice guy that is all
@Hellboy I don't know where you get your information from.
Anonymous, if that's the case how can I find out if he hasn't?
I mean im only going from experience and knowing men as I have very good male friends who tell me i dont play away in my own area. So he isn't going to show or date anyone else where he may be caught or seen to be intimate with someone else... the basic is if you ask questions about his where about and what he did that he keeps eye contact except for when he is recalling a memory he is most likely to look to the left if he tells you and proceeds to fidget or touch his neck, hair or face he is worrying and most likely lying if you then dont make it obvious but after he has told you bring up the last event of his where about and he then leads to say it backwards without stopping and question it or getting mixed up then he isn't lying.
@hellboy that is harsh she doesn't know for sure and is defending her man this is what all women do when they trust someone
I see, he mostly flirt with co--workers and clients. I guess he won't cheat with them since it's "his own area" I like your pointers about what to look for, so far none of those has happended
As I said im not saying everyman is the same im just giving my opinion and also if you leave weeks to go by and ask him about something you already talked about and know the ins and outs and he then doesn't give the same precise details or things change its most likely he is lying because of this actually happened he would be able to remember it. If it was a lie ita something made up and remembering things is more difficult
We live together so it's probably hard for him to cheat, I will use your tactic ask him same thing later on and see if he gives different answer
I lived with someone for five years and he was cheating with someone who knew he had a gf and were trying for a baby and she also had a bf who wasn't the father of any of her six kids but looked aftet them while she worked and he provided for them also. And while she was meant to be working she was away with my bf and if it wasn't for my tactics and being ever so calm about it he probably would have lied but i had too much info and tripped him up too many times he spilled the lot to me and i never looked back was heartbreaking but i always trusted my gut feeling and this proved never to doubt yourself ever if you feel it something is wrong
Sorry to hear about this girl, my guy is a mama's boy his mom loves me so I don't think he would dare to cheat because of her. I should still be careful though
Look not all men are the same but still be careful when men think they got it made that is usually when they mess it up anyway he probably hasn't done anything to worry about so i wouldn't read to much into it
You trust him. That is wonderful. You know he will never cheat on you. BUT he still continues to friendly behavior with other people. That kinda annoys you. I kinda agree with you.
Because there is no friendly flirting. He just wants attention. Attention seeking is bad behavior. This can harm your relationship. What if one day one of the girls he is friendly flirting with , takes it serious?
He needs to understand, if he wants a relationship with you, he should stop that behavior. One girl , one relationship; one flirting. That is it.
Are you flirting with other guys? No. So he should not either.
I think some of them do take it seriously as he comes across really friendly and decent and caring. When he notice they take it serious he wound back off and when the girls back off he will seek attention again. It's like he wants them close but not too close and doesn't want to let them go either
He kinda feeds his ego. As he is still desired or what?
He has confidence problem in my opinion. How are you in relationship? Do you make compliment each other?
Or he never is satisfied with compliments?
I mean ego problem should be solved internally. You can not do anything. You can just support him as he is a gentle, good etc person. The rest is up to him.
You need to speak to him. What does make him to behave like that? You can make him talk with professional if he needs.
Everyone flirts every now and then even if they don't realize it. It's wrong espciespecially if you're in a relationship but people still do it. I think it's insecurity issues but talk to your man about what he's doing and get him to understand how you're feeling about. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want you to do the same thing he's doing
As a female we get hit on all the time, so we always have reassurance that we are desirable to the opposite sex. It's harder for guys, so his flirting just allows him to get the same assurance as we get naturally.
I don't get hit on :(
You may be getting hit on without even knowing it is happening.
Are guys sometimes nice to you or smile at you just because?
Do you ever have a guy act shy and awkward around you for no reason?
These may not be obvious signs of attraction but they are some ways that males show they are interested or are attempting to flirt. Sometimes it isn't obvious.
Guys don't smile at me. They basically talk to everyone in the room but me. When I look their way and smile they look at me smile awkwardly and look away.
I must admit I'm bad once I wanted to prove I still got it and asked someone to a harmless coffee and he said no even he's been acting like he is interested
Opinion
16Opinion
My two cents.
If it is a serious issue that affects your relationship then communicate that to him.
On the other hand being an overprotective girlfriend is NEVER (healthily) attractive. It comes with balance.
A concern that he will run away will only make it so, because you're almost baiting it to come true.
Try perhaps accepting that he will 'flirt' because he does this with all women. He has chosen you as his main lady. He obviously flirted with you and it worked. But with these other women he knows when to draw the line. Clearly, if he wanted, he could remove the line.
So respect and have faith that he's chosen you. And that these women are not the one he chooses to be with at home.
I think for the same reason girls do it, confidence.. what's a better feeling then knowing you "can get" someone. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying it's right to do it but it happens a lot on both sides. I was lying if I'd say I never did something like that, but I would never ever cheat on someone.
Does that mean he is insecure deep down?
Unless someone is a complete narcissist, everyone has insecurity issues deep down. That is part of being human. Insecurities forces people to care about what others thinks so that we will make an effort to fit into society.
He really cares about what people think of him.. including strangers...
No I don't think so, but you can never have enough confidence. For example: I used to tease girls a little bit too when I had a girlfriend, I loved her like crazy and she was beautiful but it was a great boost to know that other girls were interested too. Maybe it is a little bit of insecurity, could very well be. All guys and girls want to feel confident about themselves, and if you know you are good looking or girls/guys are interested in you it's just a good feeling.
I'm alirght, he is the real good looking one.. and so is the girl he is flirting with..
I was with my ex wife 25 years. I never cheated on her. I knew her 1 month before I went into the military. when you get out of the military basic training ANYONE can get laid. I had 6 women (2 were proposing a 3some) literally just ask me if I wanted to get a room. i never did.
but I am a big flirt. It is fun. But I am not a jealous person. I am ok with flirting as long as it is innocent and doesn't go past words. no touching.
It feels good to be liked by the opposite gender, even if you don't want anything sexual from them. It helps people to feel desirable. This is especially true for men, because we rarely get approached, or catch women checking us out as often as women do. Everyone needs to feel desired.
He is very good looking even if he doesn't flirt he gets lots of look whenever we are out, I found out one of the girl he flirts / doing favors for is really hot like a glamour model. He got her to like and chase him but he never cross the line. I guess I should be very proud of this. However I can't help but wonder if he ever consider to "upgrade" I heard she's got very good personality as well but she is an ice queen to people she doens't know and a lot of guys see talking to her as challenge
Sometimes I am afriad this is how my girlfriend thinks I do things. I would never cheat on her or do anything of the sort. NEVER. But I tend to, mistakenly, flirt with girls and not even realise it and then when it does hit me I pull back, which is a good thing. I just hope she realises its not my intention
Right.. have you ever flirt wtih a girl for on going baiss? like you would flirt back off, then want her attetnion aagin and back off? like you and her are doing a circle dance? Cos this is what he is doing with one of the girls. I never confront him cos he's been loyal so far
What? No, that's the same as cheating. How is that loyal?
There's only one girl I knowingly flirt with and thats my girlfriend [fullstop]
If that is what your boyfriend is doing, do talk to him about it. If my girlfriend thought this is what I was doing I would want to know, it is certainly bothering you seeing as you've asked this question and what bothers my girlfriend, bothers me, so ask him
He never give her compliments, but he would go out of the way to be helpful and friendly and when she takes it as green lights he backs off. and you know it just repeats. Right now he backs off and calls her sister. Would you still consider that cheating? Calling her sister is freidn zoning her ass right?
Cheating is a term with a broad definition.
What he's doing is leading her wrong which is both wrong to her and to you. What ever his reasoning is beside the point.
Is this cheating? I don't know but it sure as hell is worth you talking to him about
Calling her sister, well that means nothing. I could call a girl I just met sister and that wouldn't mean I friend zoned her but if my girlfriend was around I would have a reason to call the new girl sister to trick my girlfriend into thinking I friend zoned the new girl. Get where I'm taking this? What I'm thinking?
Right... so him calling her sister could be a show to me or others (if I'm not around)... He probably is leading her on he didn't mention he is with me until 9 months after knowing this girl. Now she knows he has a girlfriend I guess that would stop him from cheating? The girl looks like a sub and won't have guts to ask him out or anything he probably just enjoying attention from her?
Not a guarantee but certainly a possibility, yes.
9 months 0. o what the? I would certainly be talking to him about this.
Yes, but all it takes is a second of temptation, a second of chance for the most loyal and innocent lookking to change, don't forget that and don't give that a chance to happen. I still say it's best to talk to him about this
That girl didn't know he has a girlfriend and had a big crush on him, she never asked him out though. After finding out he has me, she invited him to party once, but she said feel free to bring your girlfriend. I was cool with that since she didn't invite him alone. anywya he is now backing off from her again and from history she will also back off and he will be batiing for attention again..
I don't know the facts here so don't listen to what I am saying and follow it with extreme predijuice, but it sounds like there is the attention factor to your relationship he doesn't get enough of from you. Whilst on that, attention in a relationship is virtually non existant to some extent anyway. What he is doing is wrong.
He is very demanding attention wise, like I can never pay enough attention to him. He is VERY clingy
That's your problem right there it would seem. Things don't get better from here on out unless your talk to him about it. This right here is a cycle. It will keep going and going until one of them, or you finally do something about it
The girl already asked him out... sort of. and there are many other girls he flirt with and he never did anything. I guess I do have to sit his ass down tell him to stop leading all these girls on.
That would be a very good idea, yes. More to the point, it effects you and negatively for that matter. In a relationship, unwavering trust and transperancy is important. With him, you question it and that is not good so yes do ask tell him to stop leading these girls on and at the same time save yourself that 'pain' of going through this all
Two options: either A he is doing harmless flirting but he won't cheat or they won't give him the time of day. B thye know he has a gf and they just wanna test his loyalty or they want him.
Both options are very common but from what you have told me being very friendly isn't the only benefactor of flirting. how did he flirt with you when he was trying to date you? what about now? is he different? there are a ton of questions to take into account but i dont think he will cheat.
It's nice to be desired and he is staying loyal probably because he really loves you or he is scared of the consequence. Anyway having someone to like him is like having back up so if things go belly up with you he will not be alone
Does it mean I should start doing the same?
if he has never cheated on you then why do you care? :-P
if your girlfriend flirts around and never cheated would you care to find out what her intention is?
i do not think you really understand relationship concept
I would imagine that its the same reason a girl that's engaged, married, or in a relationship post selfies to her Facebook to entice comments and likes from other men... attention and to be adored by the opposite sex. smh I've never understood it.
only flrt with girls who love to be flrted... and respect and love those girlfriends who take n give respect :)
Probably because he wants to know if he is still good enough for you
he wants to be on top of his game so that you get the best
One of the girls he flirt with is 10/10 I thought he wanted to "upgrade" from me... but he never asked her out and I know he won't cheat... but seriously if she ask her out you think he will go?
Nops
if he wanted to leave he would have
i sense he is good at what he does and guys who are that good dont hang around if they dont want too
You mean he will stay loyal even when other girl is better than I am?
he already has tons of girls in his life who are "better" then you
but you see thats the best part about such men, we dont go for better we go for the best suited to us and obvsly you are best suited because u r his gf and they are just random hot chicks in his life
His family loves me that's for sure. So I guess I can just let him keep flirting around? what if I do the same? to go flirt with many guys?
lol ull end up single
If a girl goes flirt and she will be single, guys go around to flirt is ok? you are a sexist
lol, u askd for the truth
sorry love if you can't handle it
No worries love you are just a sexist and your opinion don't count. Bye
This guy is sofull of shiit
Since when do loyal men flirt with other women?
Because flirting is harmless and fun.
True but what if feelings go out of control in one of these flirting games?
Guys generally have better control of their feelings, hence their ability to have emotionless free sex.
But if the girl starts taking it too seriously, sounds like your bloke knows exactly what to do.
"When these girls took it as green light he would back off."
yep he does, he is very good with these step forward and backward games. He just like to make these girls dance around him
He isn't loyal. He is a player.
he didn;t go on date with them or sleep wtih them how is he a player?
Um, he is trying. Flirting is the first step.
In most cases flirting is first step. He always back off when girls start getting too close or ask him out. So that makes him not a playa?
I dont know. Go with your gut instinct.
Men are polygamous by nature.
How old is he?
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