My bf gives me money, is he paying me for sex?

[Anonymous]

My bf is 9 years older than me, has a job and I'm a student. We don't see each other often. He almost always gives me money. It started after some dates. But I notice he gives me less money if we just hang out to have lunch or dinner compared to if we hang out then have sex. The first time he did this he told me he's not paying me for sex but because I'm a student and he works plus he kinda encouraged me to quit my part time job. But the fact that he gives me less money when we don't have sex makes me wonder if he does pay me for sex. What do you think?

[Stanislav]

I think it is kind of payment for sex. Probably he understands the difference in your mental level, he understands the difference in your interests. And he does not want to waist time walking around with you, attending some places, having conversations. So, he just takes what he wants and saves the time. May be, he feels embarraced with women. May be he shies to show up with you on public. May be he is married or has some other girls and scared to show up with you on public.

[Asker]

What? No, we hang out in public, we talk everyday, he calls me everyday. We see each other once in a week. What's different compared to other relationships is the money part.

[apexalpha]

This raises a red flag. If his npaying more for sex than his doing this for you to be encouraged to have more sex with you. And a bf should not pay his gf money. Unless she needs support or give her gifts sometimes.

[incognito121]

Look if you feel this way tell him and dont accept the money or quit your job this is your independence i was studying full time working part time and have two children and my x used to try giving me money but I didn't like it because I felt that he was keeping me in his pocket although I helped him also make a decision and stick with it

[Asker]

The first time he did that, he put it in my purse, I didn't know. The next time he did it, I refused it and he said he insisted and he doesn't like to argue about it. He seemed to be upset. He also told me to never argue about it in the future cause he it will get him mad.

[Asker]

Also I have quit my job and he feels that he took some part on that decision

[incognito121]

Lol he is going to be possessive and try and rule you that is the way it seems

[AmyGirlyeaah]

Maybe he just cares for you and is extra happy after sex therefor gives u more

[abundantlyrich]

He still watching out for you.

[abundantlyrich]

thanks!

[Bethany-Louise]

Question is why is he just giving you money and why do you continue to take it haha?

[Asker]

The first time he did that, he put it in my purse, I didn't know. The next time he did it, I refused it and he said he insisted and he doesn't like to argue about it. He seemed to be upset. He also told me to never argue about it in the future cause he it will get him mad.

[Aleys]

I was wondering the same thing. I'm a student and my bf has a full time job if he started paying me I'd ask him if he was out of his mind. There is no reason for him to be paying you and do not quit your part time job, it will make you more dependent on the money he is giving you. Quit accepting it.

[Asker]

I have quit my job And I don't depend on him and he knows that. I work just for fun.

[Aleys]

Why did you quit your job? Did you quit before he put the idea in your head. Even if you didn't need the money if you wanted to work why would you quit?

[Asker]

My parents told me to, I had to because I have to focus on my school. Anyway, please read my main question. Thank you :-)

[Aleys]

In a way yes he is paying you for sex. Sorry to the original commenter for hijacking your comment.

[Asker]

Lol it's okay. Thank u :-)

[Anonymous]

Sounds like positive enforcement of a specific behavior to me...

[Asker]

I think so too. So you think he does indirectly pay me for sex?

[Opinion Owner]

Through what you described I wouldn't like to put it like that but yeah. I'm suspicious of the fact that he encouraged you to quit your job, it means he gains more control (or he thinks he does) because money isn't just a gift, it's necessity.

[Asker]

He knows I don't depend on his money though. He knows I didn't work because I needed to, but because I wanted to. It's another story but he knows that. Do you still think the same?

[Opinion Owner]

If we strike that from the record I still think it's a dubious assumption that he's just giving you money, his motivation is to encourage continued sex. Like I say positive enforcement; sex = more money, no sex = less money. Things usually are what they look like.

[Asker]

Okay, thanks. You're literally the only helpful answer and the only one who understands my question lol

[Opinion Owner]

Cool, cheers! That's one useful thing done today, I can chill now! lol

[Asker]

oo yeah, you deserve it! lol

[kep79]

He is not a good person, be careful. He has encouraged you to quit your part time job so he can control you with his money.

[Asker]

His role was just 20% the other 80% was my parents and the fact that I have to finish school soon. He knows I don't depend oh him. But can you tell me the reasons why you think that way? He could get me just by being sweet to me. I mean the money part is just unnecessary because he knows my family is stable financially. That's why I question it. But then again, I don't know how men think

[kep79]

@Asker, I'm not an abuser, but if money varies with sex I think he fits the profile

[Anonymous]

Don't let it worry you. Men always pay for sex in one form or another.

[Asker]

Really? Can you mention some common ones?

[Cowboy6666]

You are his call girl... ?

[Asker]

No, we hang out in public, we talk everyday, he calls me everyday. We see each other once in a week. What's different compared to other relationships is the money part.

[Cowboy6666]

Ok.. Ask him to not give u money...

[parthi]

He is cheater dont trust,

[Asker]

How so?