Is it wrong to cut him off without any explanation?

[Anonymous]

I texted him this: I know you say you cared, but it honestly doesn't feel like it because of the things you say and do.

Later that night we talked and he said he called me bipolar because he never said he cared. He said I be making up stuff in my head. He said I'll bring up stuff and he don't have the slightest clue what I be talking about. When in actuality, he has told me he cared.

Now after last night I'm officially over him. Would I be wrong for cutting him off without any explanation? Why he call me bipolar?

Updates

+1 y

Friends say he's trying to hide his feelings and just saying that to throw me off?

Updates

+1 y

He called the next day and apologized and said he wAs just joking.

[rainsplats]

I have a medical family and my father is a psychiatrist - I am diagnosed bipolar 2, and with medication it is easily managed. I've known women who are genuinely bipolar, even their doctor diagnoses them it, and they refuse to accept it. You should go online to a respect medical site- www.webmd.com/.../am-i-bipolar . Take a legitimate screening test to get an idea- and if it seems you might be, see a medical doctor about it and possibly a psychologist/psychiatrist. It is possible to be bipolar and not realise it is legitimately that.

You are seeking opinions and prespective here, and giving us a very limited view of things- and it is also your view. I would be interested to hear, directly from him, why he actually thinks you are bipolar- then I could tell if it was BS, or legitimate.

Yes, the problem could be him- it could also be you, or more likely, a combination. So it is important to look at yourself as well, because whether or not it helps your relationship with him, it will help you and your life. If you do struggle with an issue, dropping someone who recognises it won't make things better - it will just follow you. Also, going to friends and conveying your perspective will just get you what you want to hear. If you are really willing to face the truth, talk to people who know the both of you and maybe even agree with him and find out why... but be ready to listen, not attack.

If you are bipolar, you will probably find that people DO tell you what you want to hear, or treat you very carefully, because you might go off on them otherwise or get extremely upset.

[Asker]

To him in only crazy or bipolar when I disagree, argue, or argue with him.

[Abhishek_Barman025]

Give him an explanation. At least let him know his flaws so he can try to better man. A person goes through a lot in his life which can have a permanent negative effect on him. I think he is the one having bipole disorder, or he has some kind of a past which is preventing him to develop proper emotional bond with u. Have u both tried going to a relationship councillor. Give all that u have or else u may, I repeat may regrets about not giving ur best in this relationship. Sit down 1 day and talk to him in peace, let him know what I feel and try to understand why he is doing what he is doing. If this is ur and his first relationship then don't quit without a fight. What I believe is that in a relationship it is always US there is no place for ME, if a relationship fails then both r to be blamed not just 1.

Let me tell u something about my self. My parents did not have a very marriage. There use to be fights every day, mom even tried to end her self. There were ttalks of divorce. But they never quit. It was he'll for me, even till today I feel the effects of it, but I can hold pride in 1 thing that they never quit what so ever. They really thought me what relationship is, it's a war a struggle it ain't a party which u can quit just like that. I told u my my opinion. It may not be accepted by most as I'm somewhat old fashioned and spiritual. But in the end it's ur Choice.

[Asker]

Ya he is very guarded because everyone he has ever dated has cheated on him.

[Abhishek_Barman025]

See. That's it. There is always at least 1 reasons behind some event. His present behaviors like a defense mechanism. I don't know much about him but I can tell u that if u leave him he'll never change. Everyone is scared of some things even we men too, but never show it openly. I think he has a fear that u'll turn out to be like everyone else. U have 2 show him that ur not like others. I believe he over 25 years old, and if that's so then it'll take time to change his defensive attitude towards u. He should feel that he can literally put his life in ur hands. I'll not lie to u but u'll have to walk through hell with him before u get the kind of relationship u both r looking for. He'll fall deeper if u walk away. Remember he is a man, by nature he'll try to show that he's all rrough and tough. Have u ever seen a porkupine. Getting what I'm trying to say?

[Asker]

Yes he's 45, how long is too long to wait on him because I'm tired of the way he makes me feel

[Abhishek_Barman025]

25-29 to 45 that's an age gap of about 20. I'm a 22 year old guy, and in my life I've seen people becoming mentally set by 25. So if he's 45, I'm really sorry to say that it was destined to be like this with that age gap issue. As per me age gap of 3 years over or bellow is max, as there will be lot of difference in level of maturity, experience, mindset. I'm not able to think clearly about ur problem. I'll give u an opinion but dont follow it blindly cause I don't think I'm mature enough for such a case.

Give him 6-8 months. Sit down with him and tell him ur issue, plan a way to solve it, be absolutely transparent, tell him about the 8 month time limit. Take control of the relationship, give all that u can. If it works out, then it's good. But if it don't then u'll have to part away. But do tell him the reason. And tell him to find someone of his age. Even u should find closer to ur age.
I'm really sorry, but age tape is a very important criteria for a relationship. I'm really sorry

[Asker]

I have been think about the age gap lately also. When we were good, I didn't worry about it but now it's a different story. He is so set in his ways it's ridiculous, and I no he's not going to change anytime soon

[Ozanne]

I read the comments and your responses of what he's said to you and he doesn't really sounds worthy of talking to anymore. Besides, each time you talk to him he has something insulting or hurtful to say to you, so do you really think explaining yourself is going to do him any good and will win you some nice comments back? He doesn't care about what you think.

If he's accusing you of being bipolar (who is he, a doctor?) and dismisses the things you say by labeling you with a mental illness, that just shows he is not taking responsibility for anything and you are the one to blame, and you must have some underlying problems. He's fault-finding. He's also disrespectful talking about wanting to have sex with other women. If he's so in to you, this would not even be a discussion.

You owe him nothing, and you don't always need to end things with a goodbye or explanation to someone, I don't care if it's a relationship, friendship, or whatevership - if someone is being an ass and you've given them some chances to clean up their act and they don't - then ride off in to the sunset and let them be someone else's problem. All this time you're wasting on him and wondering if you should give him some explanation is time you're not giving someone else that does care about you.

[Asker]

Yes, he us always saying something to hurt me. Then he turn around and try to make everything my fault.

[Ozanne]

Well then forget it. I broke up with an asshole once and he demanded to know why, so I told him. Even THAT wasn't good enough and he kept on me for how wrong it was I was ending things, becoming more of an ass. So my point is, even if you do some explaining of why you're not going to talk to him, what possible good is it going to do with a personality like that? You've said your peace as far as I'm concerned when you said the things he's saying show he doesn't care. Let him chew on that because that sounds like you said it all. Now you can cut him off and know you got to say something to him about it.

[Asker]

True because every time we have an argument, he's never wrong and everything is always my fault. He never take responsibility for anything that goes wrong, he'll always blame it on someone else

[Ozanne]

Well, there you go. You really wanna go through all that again when you know you're done talking to him anyway?

[KindHeartedBeauty]

Amen!!! This should be chosen as the MHO!!

[emmabee11]

Sounds like he's just messing with you... i've had guys do this to me before just to wind me up, i think he's just pretending to like you to mess with you... guys like this are jerks... i went on a couple dates with a guy a couple years ago but i got the sense he was just making fun of my weight with his friends... he's just screwing with your head to try and push down your self-esteem to make you think your crazy or something... total nut job he is... stay away from dudes like this because most likely they are sittng there with their mates winding you up... if you haven't actually met him and just texted each other then don't get ahead of yourself, he already sounds like an idiot lol.

[emmabee11]

So yes just leave without a word, if he tries to call you ignore him, he will probaby try to text and call you to try and wind you up further... you have no obligation to him.

[Asker]

Ok will try, the part that's going to get me is that we work directly together

[emmabee11]

I'm sure it will be fine just pretend nothing happened, if he starts making more fun id report him to you bosses about what he's doing to his collegues, he sounds super childish.

[Asker]

Yes he is childish for his age

[Hidden_P]

I think you're emotional, not bipolar.
My brother is bipolar. You go from happiness to depression in seconds from the slightest action. Yours is triggered and then made worse from thought. So if it is bipolar, it's mild.

Personally, I think you're emotional and clutching at straws. I've been there myself. You clutch at anything you want to hear and they barely remember it.

To sum up... it won't work. He doesn't understand your needs, and you need someone to. I would find someone who understands you. And that's really hard to hear and I know, because I've been there, but it's worth it.

[Asker]

Yes, I have to admit I'm emotional now. Before I meet him, I was fine. But now, my emotions are all over the place because I'm constantly trying to figure out what I did wrong for him to treat me like this.

[Hidden_P]

Been there before hun.
With my ex, I was an emotional state. I was constantly worrying if I had done the wrong thing, trying to fix it, giving him presents to try and solve the problem. And when we broke up, I didn't know what to do - I am ashamed to say I stalked him. I felt he was lying to me and I wanted the truth.
Once I calmed down and processed everything I became okay again. I have never been like that again, even in my relationship now, I'm not a jealous wreck.

You did nothing wrong. And in a way, neither did he. Maybe.
When you are in a relationship you treat someone the best way you can, you want to shower them with love and keep them interested and in return you want the same. You'll find some people return those gestures and you end up with a happier medium. With others its not how they show affection so you won't get it in return. And that's when problems happen. You aren't on the same wavelength, you aren't understanding each others needs.
Course, some people are tools.

[Asker]

I might need to step away also, so I can clear my mind and have a clear view of everything, and yes he's a piece of work

[Hidden_P]

Stepping away is a really good thing for you to do if you can.
If you want, treat it as the no contact rule. Make time for yourself, take up a new hobby, learn how to be you again and not as one half of a relationship.

I hope things get better for you. If you need to talk, feel free to PM me.

[Account]

"He called me "bipolar" because he never said he cared."
Why do people throw random words without knowing what they truly mean?
Anyway, it's not wrong to cut him off.

[Asker]

That's exactly what I was trying to figure out. I'm all of sudden bipolar because I called him out.

[omegawolfgmaes]

Dont let them hurt u

[Asker]

Ok I'm planning in leaving

[Anonymous]

Wow I'm in the EXACT SAME situation. I gave him a second chance with me and it only took him a mere TWO freaking days to go back to his old ways. You're thinking he was trying to manipulate you, he was. Guys like them want power and control, they are selfish and have no consideration for anybody else feelings. They are NOT living in reality, I bet he's a big liar too because they try to make themselves feel important. I logged on here today just to find the answer to this exact question. My gut told me not to let him off the hook and tell him how I felt whether he cares or not. Then my heart said it wouldn't be worth the stress. Cut him loose and move on. Tell him he's a asshole and karma is a bitch!

[Asker]

You're right, this is his second chance. He was almost perfect for the first 3 months and now I'm dealing with the same mess I was before. It's so hard to leave someone you love. He can 've the sweetest man, then he can be the meanest. It's like he's playing one big game.

[Opinion Owner]

He is! That's why I'm thinking it would be a waste to even say anything because do you really think he's going to care? Also the guy I was dealing with can be sweet at times too, but you have to understand that is a temporary front to get what they want.

[Asker]

You are correct, he will be the nicest guy ever and do no wrong for a moment. And as soon as I forgive him it's back to his old ways. Oh and ya I have called him an ass hole when I broke up with him the first time. It hit him hard, he quit eating, so I forgave him. But for the next couple of month, he brought up me calling him an ass hole

[BabeBarlow91]

Yes it was right. He called you bipolar because it helps justify his behaviour - he totally knows he told you he cared but when you tell him about himself, he can't handle the truth.

Do you know you can do better than someone who calls you names when things are not going his way? Yeah, you know you can.

Don't offer him any further explanation because he's already denied that he cares so what's he gonna care about more info for?

Leave it and him alone.

[Asker]

You are totally right I can do better. No need to care about someone who claims they don't care for you. It's like he was trying to manipulate me.

[Anonymous]

Dude don't go back to this guy!!! I was stuck in the same situation! This guy went crazy for me and then when I started to show interest he would say one thing and do another. I called him out and said he was a bullshitter after that he said he would meet and I met him he literally acted like a jerk with me treated me so nice and everything and next day stopped taking my calls and stopped texting me he was reading my texts and everything but not answering! Also long time back he indirectly called me fat and asked me to lose weight for him and become size 0 skinny! I am not fat at all I was so offended by this it was all a huge mistake! Please save yourself from all this heartache and move on you deserve better Hun! Block this guy for good! He has no right to call you bipolar when he is the one who is giving off symptoms of being bipolar! You need a guy who respects you !

[Asker]

Thats how he did me, It took me a while before I gave into him. He was perfect, then he changed. So I broke up with him and gave him a second chance. He did good at first but now it's the same mess all over again.

[Opinion Owner]

omggg i feel like its the same guy i dated a while ago!!! drop him girl drop him!! i gave him a chance too he did good first then he became passive agressive and ignores me like dont even say a word he reads my texts and dont reply!!! i just deleted and blocked him i dont need a headache! move on this will be my best advice to you! i promise!

[Opinion Owner]

you do not have to provide any explanation and give him the satisfaction and hand him over the balls it will make you feel worst at the end of the day!! please do yourself a favor and walk away right now all the balls are in your court! he's a narcissist! get away from him!

[Asker]

If it not to much info, how did you get out of your situation?

[Opinion Owner]

well i was the dumbass we went crazy after him when he was paying no heed or attention to me. i kept messaging him and he was being passive agressive with me reading my texts and not responding which pissed me off more he was plainly ignoring me. I got so frustrated and cussed him out and we were done!

[Asker]

Wow, you were just in your feelings and I've learned that's the worst place to be when your mad at someone

[Opinion Owner]

yeah did you contact him again?

[oldanddecrepid]

I think Bipolar is just a fad word these days... heck if you simply change your mind... your considered bipolar?

I would not take to much stock in what he is saying sounds to me like he is screwing with your head.

If you think he is going to be a pain in the ass and grief is all he is giving you then you have every right to say... don't need this later dude!

[Asker]

So he's playing mind games

[oldanddecrepid]

Sounds to me like your friends have pegged him exactly.

The fact that he would not admit that he cares says something about him. I would always be leery of the kind of guy that will not tell you how he really feels.

Especially when you talk to him about it and he says something to the effect that you bipolar and only hear what you want to hear.

He is not being true to you and all you will do is chase him around while he jumps all over the place with his feelings.

A relationship is not one person making the effort... he has to be forthcoming.

[koibito]

If it seems inevitable that you'll always have this kind of upsetting arguments with him and it never seems to get better, then, yeah just cut him off and stop trying.

Only try to explain if you want to get back together. Otherwise, I've learnt that it's pretty silly to be explaining to someone who isn't going to appear or matter in your life any longer..

[Asker]

Right we go through this over and over again

[koibito]

Well then I think ending it and cutting him off would be best. Not a harsh cut-off, but just being really discliplined to not speak anything more than necessary with him.

[Asker]

That's the hard part, we work directly together.

[Tolive_or_diefor]

Lady, if he truly cares, he will treat you seriously especially when you are feeling that was. I dont see how that was a joke when he label you as bipolar. And further more, if he cares, he should apologise, man up his mistakes, grow a pair of balls and make it up to you. He is not worth it. His loss not yours. Actions speaks louder than words

[Asker]

That's what I told him and he just kept insisting I was bipolar

[Tolive_or_diefor]

Thats why, thats the reason you shouldn't really care too much for him and just break away from him

[Asker]

Ok I will

[Paris13]

He is this sore loser when you gave him this message, and Naturally a guy like this here, dear will Call You-----Biploar.. maybe even worse if he chooses to.
Pay him no mind. No need to push anymore buttons on your own end. You have said enough, 'It's over,' and with this, move on and No contact now.
He doesn't care or you wouldn't have had to send This and even have pushed your own buttons with bull that he deserved to know.
Good luck. xx

[Asker]

He called and apologized the next day, then he told me something so I'll feel bad for him. I know that a way for him to manipulate me.

[Paris13]

lol.. Okay, sweetie.. well, could be then a full circle of keep doing it so stand on your guard.:)) xxoo

[Asker]

I'm not going back. This is his second time messing up, so I'm done. Just gotta figure out how to do that since we work together.

[Paris13]

Good for you then... full circle pattern as I just said.:)) xxoo

[godfatherfan]

If your a decent person your going to give him an explanation if he wants one. Every time I have broken off a relationship I was willing to talk as long as they wanted and explain everything. one didn't want to talk, a couple others did.

[Asker]

It would be useless though, he is a master manipulator. Like when he apologized he told me something so I'll feel bad for him.

[vmw2008]

Yes. An explanation will lead to a discussion, which will lead to him trying to get you not to walk away. If you know someone is bad for you and you've tried talking it out before, walking away is the best step.

[Asker]

Yes I have tried countlessly. I'm just tired now.

[omegawolfgmaes]

Dont stay if it hurts u

[Asker]

Ya, I'm constantly emotionally drained with him.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he's gaslighting you so it's good you want to end things. Generally, I think its best to tell him its over between you two, especially since you say you still have to seem him everyday. But at the same time, its best you do whatever you feel is the best option for you.

[Asker]

May I ask what gaslighting mean?

[Opinion Owner]

Here's the wiki on it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

[Asker]

Wow that's exactly what he does to me. Tbh never heard of that word

[Your_boss960]

It's not wrong to cut someone out of your life like that with no explanation. He doesn't even have the slightest clue to what a 'bipolar' person is if he called you that.

Infact, cutting him out of your life like that is what he deserves.

[Asker]

Yes you are right

[nixbay2346]

honest opinion, he wanted out, he tried to do it without saying anything you pushed so he got nasty hoping that would make it stop altogether. men are idiots when it comes to breaking up. Let this one go

[Asker]

Why would he call the next morning to apologized and say he was just playing?

[nixbay2346]

If he called you the next day and said he was kidding seems to me he's playing games, trying to keep you on the back burner. Dont play this game with him, let it go not worth the heartache its going to cause you.

[Asker]

Yes I honestly feel like he's playing games also. He is extremely selfish

[Anonymous]

If you've already tried explaining things and he's still hurting you, cut him off. You don't need that in your life, hun! Calling you bipolar and such is his way of justifying his ways, and making it seem that you're the one to blame.

[Asker]

Yes you are right every time we get into an argument or I disagree with something he says, he calls me some form of crazy.

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry to say, but you need to cut him out of your life! You don't need or deserve that from someone that is supposed to care about you. Manipulating you by putting you down, so you can stay with him is messed up, on his part. An ex tried to emotional abuse me, and I left so quick.

[Asker]

Wish I was as strong as you

[Opinion Owner]

You can do it, I believe! :D

[DocT1977]

If you are going to break things off with him, You at least need to provide a reason. Give him that much. Though I do think you have good grounds for bailing on him.

[serp777]

DOCT1337!!! FUCK YEAHHHHHHHHH

[Asker]

So providing a reason would be better, what if he try to manipulate me. How do I get out of that, he makes everything my fault.

[Mocha_Queen]

Think about whag you want this isn't about him its about you, if you feel deep down inside that he doesn't care then just tell him that and then cut him off, if you cut him off without saying why then you'll really look like you're bipolar.

[Asker]

Ya, I want out of it. He is a master manipulator though.

[Mocha_Queen]

Then I say just let him know how you feel, and then block his number for awhile, there's an app called mr number that you can use if you dont have that option on your phone, I hate guys like that

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

I think it's best to break up with him, if he can't accept you for who
you are than your better off without him.

[Asker]

Ya I'm going to leave him

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Take care and hope things get better for you :-)

[xfablilmex]

youu give him no explanation the way he treated you doesn't deserve an explanation. he wants to be a pee pee head he can be one all by him damn self baby girl

[Asker]

Will do

[jimoo44]

From the headline, your question really, I would have said yes, it is wrong to cut someone off with no explanation. I'd just put that under the general human behavior rule of "doing to others what you'd have them do to you." But, reading your description of this specific situation, I would have to say that you have already had plenty of conversation. I would not consider anything you do from now on to be cutting him off with no explanation. You've already had dialogue.

[Asker]

Yes I want to cut him off so bad, but when he called the next morning he apologized and told me this sad story about him. I just can't figure him out.

[foreverloved14]

I'm sorry, but I think you should just forget about him and move on to someone else. He sounds like a jerk or really immature and doesn't know how to handle stuff like that. You deserve a man.

[Asker]

Yes he is immature for his age, and the bad part is he's 45

[foreverloved14]

No way! Are you kidding me?

[Asker]

Nope I'm serious