Guys, if you get "whiskey dick" and can't get it up with a girl, will you be so embarrassed that you won't try to hook up with her again?

[Anonymous]

I dated this guy years ago and we've remained friends since then. We've always been attracted to each other but this is the first time we've both been single since then. Long story short, he's recently single. He started pursuing me strongly and I caved. We had a really fun night out partying and when we got home to...you know...he couldn't get it up. AT ALL. I chalked it up to us partying too hard and let him know it wasn't a big deal. Fast forward a week later, we link up again. At this point the sexual tension was at a peak and I was ready to do the damn thing. So again, we're out late, end up back at my place. Making out heavily, I feel he is hard. We go to the bedroom...and...it happens again. He can't get it up. I'm super frustrated but again I try to make light of it so he doesn't feel too bad. We used to sleep together years before and NEVER had this problem.

That was last week. I went into his bar last night for a party and it was the first time I'd seen or talked to him since our last encounter. Again, we're friends, we roll in the same circle. He seemed a bit cold to me last night. I mean he said hi and hugged me and got me a drink but normally he is wayyyyyy more flirty. And granted it was a busy night and he was working, but like i said, he normally gives me more attention. It got late so me and my friends started leaving, at this point he usually asks me what I'm doing later, can we meet up, etc. This time, nothing. He told me I looked really beautiful and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and let me leave.

My question: is he embarrassed by our previous 2 times and is not trying anymore? is he over it entirely? i'm sooooo confused! I actually like this guy and I don't know how to move forward.

[gray_sailor]

The problem is that no man can will an erection. The first occurrence was inderstandable, alcohol just ruins a chance for a hardon. In the second encounter, that is when he was under stress to perform. Stress is a bigger problem than alcohol is because there is no easy way to abstain from stress.
The only way forward in that circumstance is to not focus on intercourse. This Is where manual stimulation and oral sex have to come to the rescue. If you can take attention away from the pressing need for an erection, and just enjoy each other's bodies, then an erection can happen naturally.
Following the same pattern of behavior as the first two times will yield the same result. That is why he won't pursue you again. If you could get together and NOT follow the same path as before, you could have a satisfying time together. I don't know if he is willing to take the risk.

[WhiteSteve]

I'd imagine he's probably embarrassed and beating himself up about it. The good news is you have such a long history, so just keep trying if you want to pursue it. Maybe don't drink so much beforehand, haha. He's gotta be mindfucking himself, I'd think. I wouldn't be surprised if the second incident was due to nerves from the time before, like "don't happen again... don't happen again... don't happen again... no, no, PLEASE don't happen again... annnnndddd it's soft" Just focus on relaxing him next time. I'm sure he didn't just lose his ability to get boners out of nowhere, haha. Just keep playing it cool, and maybe be like "we're getting this going even if it takes all night😉"

[Asker]

Haha, great advice. And yeah, I think he psyched himself out the second time. As a guy, if this happened to you, would you stop pursuing that girl?

[WhiteSteve]

Mmm, maybe not stop pursuing her, but I'd probably be going crazy wondering what she thought about me and being afraid that I blew it, so I might not pursue as aggressively maybe? Tough to say. And you guys dated back in the day, right? So you've slept together before? Just put him at ease as much as you can. Actually, JUST remembered some firsthand experience with this that I forgot, because I actually got it up, but it took a minute, haha. It was our first time hooking up, and I don't know what the hell happened, it was like mid-afternoon on a Tuesday, haha. Everything was cool through foreplay, but I lost it when the condom went on, and I was like "fuckkkk, what's happening?" Same deal, all types of tension and buildup beforehand. She was stupid hot too, so I think I was getting anxious about needing to make a strong impression. Anyway, I had to, um, do it myself for a minute and it didn't immediately respond. That's when panic set in, which is the worst thing that can happen. But..

[WhiteSteve]

... I remember being like "sorry, this never happens, give me a second", haha. And she kissed me really slow and sexy and just very casually was like "I'm not worried...", and I was good to go👍 Can't believe I forgot that, haha, but it was over a decade ago. But yeah, take that attitude with it, and he should loosen up. Maybe even say something ahead of time. Definitely let him know you want to hang out again, that'll help his ego going into it.👍

[WhiteSteve]

Thanks, good luck with everything!👉👌👍😆

[Kidanis]

damn staright he is this happened to me before and sometimes we just dont know why it happens it got better afterwards tho

[Asker]

Should I just fall back and wait for him to make a move again? I'm open to giving him another chance...

[Kidanis]

just talk to him and tell him you wanna help him with his issue that helped me out it was more of an axiety thing for me Once it happens you start freaking out it might happen and then it keeps happening maybe some oral pleasure might relax him ;)

[Asker]

I went down to give him oral pleasure but he pulled me back up before I could even start. He said it was pointless at that moment. After 2 times I'm just hoping it's not me!

[Kidanis]

I asure you its not you he is 100% just worried he might be impotent which is silly as hell

[Despondency]

He has ED. :(

[Asker]

nooooooo, please say it isn't so! i'm hoping it's just the booze :(

[Despondency]

Well, generally it's rare it's repetitive and signifies an underlying problem.

[jmmmfi]

Never had that happen but yeah I'd be humiliated

[Asker]

would you try to holler at the girl again if it did happen or nah?

[jmmmfi]

Why is you guys can't hang out without drinking?

[Asker]

Fair question. We both work in nightlife. And again, this just recently started back up again 2 weeks ago so the past couple times we've hung out has been at night out with friends, etc.