Why are white men so insecure?

[Anonymous]

Okay I know the title is a bit harsh, but let me explain. I'm a 20 y/o white girl, I'm above average as far as looks are concerned, and I'm primarily attracted to non-white men. I've been on this site for maybe a year now and have noticed on this site so many times how insecure and/or quick to jump to conclusions the white men on here are when they read that a white woman is into non-white men. what's up with that? My best girl friend is a gorgeous black girl and she's dated so many white guys. I've never given her shit for this, I could really care less, even if I was into white guys. So why do white men do it? Explain

Updates

+1 y

I'm not expecting a ton of white guys to comment. I'll assume they're the ones who are insecure and just confirming this for me by not posting

[Watermelonoma]

Here's the thing. White guys and guys in general love when attention is directed towards them, but hate when its pull away from them. On gag, a good example is the black girl - white guy questions. It's a daily occurrence on here to have at least one or two questions asked by a black girl about how to snag a white guy. The white guys that answer are usually quite happy to help the asker and reassure her that white guys love them too. That's great. But I notice on the rare occasion when you see one white girl make a similar question on here about how to get black guys, the comments are usually about how easy white women are, how slutty the asker is, she's making the biggest mistake of her life, etc.

So what i boil it down to is this: The white guys who are actually like that view black men as sub human. It makes sense to them that a black woman would prefer them over a sub human, so they will accommodate the user as best they can to save them from a savage, but a white girl, one of "their own" going for a sub human is seen as both a slap in the face, and a sign of moral/mental decay of the woman in their eyes. So when you make your personal preference known on gag, remember that you're dealing with something that goes much beyond you or I.

[NateInAk]

I think it's less the subhuman thing and more guys getting butt hurt over not being the preferred ones ;D

[Watermelonoma]

@NateInAk

i would say so too, if not for the level of racism that i usually see from the comments in those questions

[Asker]

That explanation actually exceeded my expectations of any response this post was going to get. Thank you for your input, it makes a lot of sense to me actually. It's stupid and so ignorant to assume that black men are savages and 'sub-human'. People are people, and it truly should not matter who we choose to date but there will always be outside opinions. I don't believe that anyone is better than anyone, and I'll never understand why black girls ogle over white men the way that they do. They're not anymore special than any man of any other race

[Asker]

there is a lot of obvious racism in those comments

[Watermelonoma]

@Asker

most guys who are like this aren't good with women. It's difficult to be someone who gets a lot of women in their life, while still simultaneously caring so much about the people other women choose to date. The two things just don't compute with each other, so it boils down to feelings of insecurity about loosing more women from the field of play which they probably never had a chance of snagging to begin with. The other tactic is to simply assume the woman was fat and ugly... because only the undesired amongst the master race could find sexual appeal in a sub human

[NateInAk]

Butthurt usually brings out the worst in people, and any question professing the preference of blacks is going to bring the rednecks (I'm from Oklahoma, I'm one of them non racist rednecks ;D) flocking like rats to a block of cheddar.
So it's a combination of guys' insecure buttons getting pressed, and the racist-magnet effect of those questions in general.

[Watermelonoma]

@NateInAk

well i certainly would prefer that you were more right on this than I was... as i prefer a world with less racism

[Watermelonoma]

thanks for mho!

[Asker]

you're welcome! it was just a very insightful and mature response

[Anonymous]

It doesn't bother me personally at all and it doesn't bother lots of other men either...
I think I can shed some light on why some men have a problem with this. It's totally different from a white guy liking Asian women, it's to do with their masculinity. I'm not getting into a debate on what's true and what's not, but black men are generally seen as stronger and sexually superior to white men. Of course they generally have a larger penis. When one of these guys sees you with a black man, they will feel inferior and that you have selected a stronger mate. That's why they are insecure.
You're not doing anything wrong, it's their problem not yours. Although this is for some men a sensitive topic

[SisterSister]

If you're counting on this website to be representative of the truth, then I've got some land in Florida I'd like to sell you.

Seems like one in 4 posts (at least) are complete lies and obviously written by people with a certain agenda.

Count on real world experience rather than this forum. White men are not insecure about whites with blacks. Sure, some are, and so are some blacks when it's the other way around.

I see it as such a non issue that people don't even notice interracial couples. (was married to a white man). No one stared and no one cared.

[RationalLioness]

Really? I never really noticed that. I've noticed most of them seem to have common sense and say that whatever a (white) woman prefers is what she prefers and she should go after it.

But maybe the ones that you are seeing are those that are similar to some black men on here: if you don't date someone of your race, then you're supposedly self-hating and discriminating. Essentially, they're dumbasses.

[miserybusiness]

Wouldn't really pin this one on the white guys alone. Goes across the border.

Them Asian boys be like, "why are white people stealing our women"

Them black guys be like, "why are those kpop guys taking our chicks"

Them white bros be all, "freaking coca colas be mixing with our gingers"

It goes on and on and on

[Asker]

i can't say that I've never seen a post about men being upset about other races taking their women. if anything they seem to flock over white and Asian women like we're so much better than black, latina, etc. that's so fucking weird to me

[miserybusiness]

Really? I have, hahaha. I've seen guys from multiple ethnicities complain about this in real life too. So dumb. But yeah they do tend to fight over white and East Asian women more. Sucks for the rest of us fobs.

[Asker]

I'll never understand that, especially considering that non-white women have physical features that most white women aren't naturally born with and pay for. white girls long for plumper lips, bigger butts, curves, tan skin. I'm happy with the way I and wouldn't want to change but I've noticed this, and when a white woman gets work done to enhance these features it becomes a big deal, whereas non-white women who were born with them get zero credit. i'll never get that

[AleDeEurope]

1) There are more white people, therefore a higher number of "insecure posts".
2) Have you never seen the questions "Why doesn't any women like black men?" "Do white girls like black men?" "Why are we black men frowned upon?" "Why does no one like Asian men?" "Why do girls don't like Indian men?"

Every race have insecure men, the reason you see more questions of white men being insecure is because there are more white men in this site.

[Asker]

I understand this but it just seems like white men are so quick to assume that I'm attracted to black men because of a fucking penis stereotype is all. It screams insecurity

[AleDeEurope]

But that's just the stereotype, I mean, tell anyone of any race that you date black men and I'm 100% sure that one of the thoughts that'll come to their mind is that you date them because of big dicks.
It doesn't mean that they're insecure, it's just a stereotype that it's said so much that you can't avoid thinking of it.

[Asker]

that's a stereotype though. I'm not desperate for big dicks. it's just an insecure assumption to make and basically is telling me that as the white guy they probably have a smaller penis and therefore can't please me

[Asker]

also to bring that up is racist, no?

[AleDeEurope]

Yeah, it could be seen as racist, or it could just be because of how much that stereotype is everywhere, even black people say that. Obviously some guys are insecure about this, others are just "victims" of the stereotype and can't avoid thinking about that, and others will just be joking.
I'm a white man and I don't feel insecure about that at all, I may tease the girl with the penis thing, but not as racism or insecurity, but more as a joke.
I know most women that go for black men don't do it for their dicks, some do, but just a few. You go for who you like the most, and screw all those who have something against that.

[stanley40]

I am a white guy and could less what your preference is. I think its nice to be up front so a person like me doesn't waist my time on someone that doesn't find me physically attractive because of my dominate trait. My main question to this is would you turn down your perfect guy when his only exception was that he was white. My main attraction preferences are also steering away from white females as well, but I still had white woman relationships because of there other qualities. Does this help?

[Asker]

I wouldn't not date a white guy, and have in the past. I find myself more physically attracted to non white men is all. It's a preference, just like your preference for non-white women.

[GrayWolf]

well you know the old saying once you go black you can't go back lol most black guys are hung like a horse and your average white guy is between 4 and 6 inches so of course there going to be insecure about it only white guys that are not insecure are the above average guys with 7 or more inches. me being 7 im still a little insecure but the way i see it if your going to judge me on the size of my baby maker then you need to hit the bricks hope this isn't tmi but its my opinion.

[Asker]

it's funny because me dating a black man has nothing to do with his penis size. not ALL black men are well endowed, did you know that? I don't have a penis-dar that directs me to the ones with the biggest cocks. if that were the case it would probably direct me to white men as well. I personally don't judge any man based on the size of his penis, and have zero expectations when making the decision to date.

[GrayWolf]

that's true and everyone has different taste in the opposite sex me i love Asian girls and Russian girls has nothing to do with race just love there facial features and body types. now give me a black girl with a ghetto booty Asian eyes and Russian cheek bones and petite athletic body and omg you found my soul-mate he he. Have you seen her tell me have you seen her lol

[MosaicMind]

If you were going to generalize you could have at least been kind enough to only generalize about white men on this site. But of course, you're going to generalize about ALL and expect a clear explanation. Every white guy is different, insecurity has nothing to do with race.

[Asker]

You clearly didn't read that this question was directed toward white male users of THIS site. not the real world my friend.

[Asker]

thank you for your input

[MosaicMind]

It's still generalization, something I despise. As I said before, race has nothing to do with it. And what explanation were you expecting?

[Asker]

I wasn't expecting any explanation honestly but I was hoping for one. there were a few posters on here who were mature and didn't cop a tude or be racist. I don't like generalizations either, but it does have to do with race at times. anyone who says otherwise is silly

[MosaicMind]

Honestly, how many have you encountered? Five

If you said some white men this would be a little understandable.

[abundantlyrich]

The leftover white dudes... Who complain about everything.

[Asker]

yeah that's what I was thinking

[Roycaryn]

Because humans by and large regardless of race, culture etc. prefer people of their own race and/or cultural background. If a black girl told a white guy "Oh, yeah, I don't really date white guys too much" then, assuming he wasn't head over heels in love or something, he wouldn't think anything of it.

[NateInAk]

Well everyone has insecurities. In the situation you're in, you're just going to NOTICE those more because you prefer one group over another, which would bring out the insecurities in anyone.
Am I insecure? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... no...
OKAY YES
Just not in this instance ;D

[AshleyMD]

Jealousy probably. Anyways I don't care what they think and you shouldn't either because you aren't obliged to date them or do anything with them. Although all white men aren't like this but the ones that are can go fuck off.

[Asker]

thank you for your input, that was great insight

[Phoenix98]

The site is full of insecure people, white, black, red and purple, male and female the're eveywere.

[Anonymous]

Because white men have superiority complexes and are mad that even white women don't want to deal with their arrogant and disrespectful behavior. I'm half black and I do not blame you for dating non white men. White men think that their skin color entitles them to any women so they get butthurt when a woman does not want them.

[cavmanier]

This isn't isolated to just white guys. I've seen the same perspective from the other races as well. A white girl preferring a different race doesn't bother me by the way.

[Asker]

Thank you for your input

[cavmanier]

Sorry I forgot to add that the phenomenon, regardless or race, is because the person interprets that person's opinion as a threat to them getting women as well as a personal insult to their overall attractiveness.

[Asker]

I can see that

[Prof_Don]

Those white guys that give you negative feedback may believe in "white genocide".

Look it up on the internet; the theory is quite an interesting read!

[Asker]

I'll take a look... thank you

[Prof_Don]

P. S. I'm a black guy (so u know my perspective)

[Anonymous]

Probably because darker features have a more primal masculinity to them, and easily breed out light features. It's even been proven that white women prefer dark eyed/dark haired white men to blue eyed/blonde haired white men.

Visibly non-white men have the media, stereotypes, and various other factors against them. If these are defeated, then the artificial advantage that the lightest men have is destroyed.

[Asker]

I'm glad that someone's mentioned the media/stereotypes with regard to this. I agree, if the media wasn't against blacks and other ethnicities we would be destroyed. that's a big insecurity though. considering all the white females who get breast augmentations, lip fillers, and butt implants and go tanning, and all the white dudes who swear by guns and whatever else

[BehindTheFront]

I don't share this feeling so I can't tell you why.

[Asker]

are you suggesting that you're not comfortable with non-white women dating white men?

[BehindTheFront]

Whaaat? YOU jump into conclusions. The question is why are white men so insecure? My answer is white men are not insecure (in my opinion at least) so I can't tell you why.
Yet that's true, I'm not comfortable with non-white women dating white men, they should be dating white women ;)

[The_Lone_Ranger]

There is nothing shy about white people. Many white people are more "hood" that any other race. At least the ones I meet one a daily basis.
-A Black Guy

[Anonymous]

I'm not a white man but I notice that all races have problems with their opposite sex of their race dating out. I'm a black female who's lived all over the country and I see it in every ethnic group, mine included.

[BertMacklinFBI]

bitches will be bitches. those insecure pricks come from everywhere.

[ThatBritishLad]

Mainly because everything that's wrong with society is pinned on the evil white man.

[Asker]

I can't blame people for being upset with white people. we're not ALL bad, but the ones who control the country, the TV stations, magasize ads, EVERYTHING are all white, and base just about everything around white people. please tell me how many commercials you've seen featuring non-white women with physical features that weren't Eurocentric. I would be upset too

[SisterSister]

This argument is so tired.

ABC, NBC and Fox have a higher percentage of blacks in prime time than there is in the general population.

Your argument is not true. And did you happen to notice even FOX made the list

I'm so sick of everything being about race. It isn't.

[ThatBritishLad]

Wuh?

[AmandaLynn1930]

it's just men in general... has nothing to do with race...

[Klaatu51]

not all whites... personally i'm fine with myeself NOW... 8)

[AshleyMD]

Only now? Not in the past?

[Klaatu51]

@AshleyMD basically in da past i was nothin more than a fuckin retard... now i'm fine with myself \O/

[AshleyMD]

Ok, that's good that you're fine with yourself now

[Frost_Byt3]

Generalization much! That's like saying all Puerto Ricans love slippin' slides. :P

[Anonymous]

i'm not. i like being cuckolded by black men. it's my fetish :-)

[Cowboy6666]

I am non-white, non-black man...

I don't know what are you talking about.. I don't have any insecurity from you or anyone here..

[Anonymous]

Well, I happen to have a small penis, so yes, I do assume that women date other races for penis size, irrational or not.

[Asker]

sucks but women don't date because they anticipate bigger cock size

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, I'm aware that the guy with the largest penis is white, blah blah blah. Doesn't change the fact that black guys are reputed to be well endowed in general.

I know it's technically irrational, but I still believe that a white woman wouldn't date a black guy who had a small penis.

[Asker]

I'm wondering if you're aware of all the very good looking black/non-white men in this world. there are a lot of ugly and attractive men of every race. believe it or not there are even unattractive white men. who would've thought!

[Asker]

your penis must not be up to par

[Opinion Owner]

Of course it's not up to par for most women. Why else would I have mentioned that it's small? It's considered medically normal, but women don't care about that...

[Opinion Owner]

You are aware that Heidi Klum married Seal for his huge penis after seeing it in his bicycle shorts, right? She admitted it publicly on Oprah.

[Asker]

Not all women are interested in well endowed men. It can hurt you know. Vaginas are not one size fits all.

[Asker]

You are aware that Heidi Klum doesn't represent all white women who choose to date black men, correct?

[AshleyMD]

The penis size difference is a myth though.

[Opinion Owner]

It doesn't matter if it is a myth if enough women believe it.

[Opinion Owner]

Notice how so many celebrity women date well endowed men. Most women don't have the ability to pick and choose, so they settle, but the powerful women can, and they choose bigger guys. Coincidence?

[Asker]

these women go after rich guys. hello? how do they know they have big penises? how do YOU know? I guess all in all it is an incredibly ignorant assumption that white women would only be interested in a black man for his cock size. black/non-white men are MEN, just like you. they're people with emotions and great qualities to offer. if he's got a nice cock it is a bonus. get over yourself.

[Opinion Owner]

"your penis must not be up to par"

And you claim to not be a size queen? What a joke. I'll "get over myself" when women stop ridiculing men for being smaller than average. I don't even have a micro penis, but most women would be turned off by mine, because it's in that gray area between medically small and average.

[Asker]

Dude relax, I'm not a size queen. Quite frankly I prefer penises that are average. Anything more hurts for me. you truly are so insecure about your dick. I'm sure you're a great guy, despite being average. That's not a bad thing unless you think it is. I'm sorry you've run into shallow women or you just assume that you're not worthy. I don't ridicule men for being born a certain way. So bye now

[Opinion Owner]

If I was average, I wouldn't be an insecure older virgin... :(

[Asker]

your insecurity might be holding you back from changing that. you need to learn to accept all of yourself. your penis size does NOT define you

[Anonymous]

do whatever you want with your vagina. its a bit perverse though. in my opinion races should be pure, and not mixed with interracial relationships... .

[TonyRyan]

I'm not insecure about my ethnicity at all, tbh.

[Asker]

I'm not saying that you're insecure about BEING white, I'ms saying many white men on this site are insecure when white women are attracted to non-white men

[TonyRyan]

Oooohh, gotcha. Personally, I find it funny when they feel threatened like that. Me, if I ever came across that situation? I'd simply move on to the next, lol. Some guys are just so insecure about TONS of things, it's crazy and has to suck living like that, lol.

[tenofthepeaks]

they're racist...

[Anonymous]

Because they don't want to be generalised.

OH