What does your booty call mean to you?

[Anonymous]

To me a booty call is someone I'm interested in mainly physically but that I would tolerate a friendship with so that the sex is comfortable.

Guys seem to think it's more like you can either be friends, lovers or nothing (like the new John Mayer song).

I had a guy and we used to be each others booty call and the reason we aren't anymore is because I kept trying to befriend him and he kept pushing me away, we wound up getting in a fight about it and now we are nothing.

Updates

+1 y

what I mean by: "Guys seem to think it's more like you can either be friends, lovers or nothing" is that it's one or the other, there doesn't seem to be an in-between, why is that? Why can't you be friends and lovers?

[Anonymous]

That's not true. Guys aren't two dimentional; we're four dimentional.

There are four categories we place girls into:

- Like her & want to have sex with her (girlfriend / fwb)

- Like her, but would never have sex with her (friend)

- Don't like her & want to have sex with her (f-buddy; NOTICE: very different from FWB)

- Don't like her & would never have sex with her (who?)

But beyond that, to understand what a "booty call" means to a guy, I guess you have to look at why she's his booty call in the first place.

Most guys know that when a girl is going to start to get emotionally involved, it's going to be 2-3 months before he has sex with that girl; in an effort on her part to show him that she hasn't really slept with too many guys, and if she has, she's not that girl anymore. The reason she does this is because she's emotionally involved, and wants a relationship. So to avoid this fate, guys remain emotionally shut-out. If they're not looking for a relationship, and don't give a girl reason to become emotionally involved, they voluntarily limit their sexual options; but they don't care. The reason they don't care, is because it's way more meaningful and valuable to a man to have a girl who just likes having sex with him, rather than one who he doesn't know if the reason behind her having sex with him is because she wants to keep the relationship going, wants his money, and all these other complications.

Unlike a girlfriend, a booty call won't take it personally or the wrong way if you don't take her out for dinner, get her gifts, or call her. But more importantly, she doesn't expect these things, which means when you do them, she actually appreciates them instead of taking them for granted, or worse, not being satisfied and demanding more. In addition, sexual honesty is very meaningful and valuable to men. With a girlfriend, sex is always a bargaining chip. It's used as a reward for good behavior, and withheld as punishment for bad behavior. It's used as incentive to enter into a relationship, and given and withheld intermittently to maintain the relationship. There's nothing flattering about that. It does nothing to make a guy feel special; or at the very least, somehow different than Pavlov's dogs.

A booty call doesn't give rise to those problems. She's honest; sexually honest. You know that she's not looking for your money, or for a relationship. That she just wants to have sex, and she's picked you. Now how flattering is that?

In addition to just sex, a guy starts to appreciate how special his booty call makes him feel. In an effort to reciprocate the feeling and show his appreciation, he calls her, spends time with her, talks with her, listens to her, goes places together, does things together, gets her stuff, etc. He enjoys her company for more than just the sex. He enjoys the way she makes him feel. And given enough time and mutual interest, FWB (not f-buddies) can easily turn into serious long-term relationships.

[Anonymous]

Heres the thing.. guys cannot seperate emotion and sex. So he's going to develop feelings for you over time if you just keep having sex. It happened to me. I had a f*** buddy for 6 months and she ended up being my girlfriend for 4 years afterward. A booty call is just someone you use once or twice to have sex with.

[Anonymous]

Because being a friend and a lover is what relationships are about. It combines the physical connection with an emotional connection. Face it, booty call means you owe the other person nothing. If you don't feel like talking to them, or hanging out or giving them the common courtesies you extend to your friends, but you like the sex, then you have booty call. It is sex without any responsibilities. Guys who enter into booty call are typically not going to want to hang out with you and shoot the breeze.