Boyfriend calls me in the middle of the night, on a Sunday, then hangs up. I call back and text him and try and check on him... no answer at all?

[Anonymous]

Yesterday I had a LONG day (a lot of driving and went scuba diving) so I went to bed early, and my boyfriend knew I was tired. At 1:30am I woke up to him calling me and I was like "Whats up?" and he kept saying he couldn't hear me. He also called me at 11pm while I was asleep. I called and texted him back a bunch of times to no answer. The ONLY times he has ever done this is when he is sick/needs something (did it just last week actually). I told him he was making me nervous that he wasn't answering so I would come over to make sure he was okay ( and to clarify I would do this for anyone that I even care about in the slightest, especially him though since he does the same for me). I drove over there, knocked on the door, no answer. Waited a bit and then left, because I was tired. He texts me back at 5am telling me I'm paranoid for being so worried. Am I crazy to think that because I care and he just abruptly hung up on me after waking me up at almost 2am on a Sunday night that I was doing something NICE? I know if he were on the other end he'd be worried as well, especially since the only times as I said he's ever done this to me has been when he needs something urgently, is really sick, etc.

[Anonymous]

Two good answers below
> checking up on you
> paranoid (ESPECIALLY when he tries to pin that on you)
... with those two ideal reasons, I view these as a recipe for yet another more sinister one = he was with another gal and... afraid of being caught... needed to know EXACTLY where you were... like putting a bell on the cat so the mice at play can be alerted when it draws near

In any case, it's time to NOT care so much about someone so self centered... he is not practicing love, he's practicing possessiveness and sneaking around (with lame excuses + coverup finger pointing)

They say when you point a finger at another, you have 3 fingers pointing back at you

PLEASE
report back WHEN you uncover his covert reasons for disturbing... ALL of us

[Julezy]

He sounds very paranoid to me. I think he calls you to check up on you. He wants to make sure you're not surrounded by noise when he calls. I know from past experience, my ex's used to do the same thing. Usually guys that are paranoid are the one's that are being deceitful. The fact that you went over there and he didn't answer, also makes me think that he either had company or he wasn't home.

[Julezy]

Sorry to sound soo blunt, but this sounds awfully familiar to me.

[Asker]

He does check on me. Often. But he knew I was literally dead tired. I went to sleep at 930. He was home too cause his car was there and if he's not sick or sleeping he always answers. Its just bizarre

[Julezy]

It's not good that he checks on you, they use it as an excuse to actually CHECK UP on you. Just because he knew you were dead tired doesn't mean he actually believed you. He will still check up on you and make sure you were asleep. Just because his car was there doesn't mean anything either. Like I said, he may have had company. He could have gotten picked up to. I knew guys that made out they were sleeping, when they were actually in bed with someone else.

[Julezy]

I'm just telling you what I know from experience. You will learn in time :)

[Asker]

This is just out of character for him. Completely. I just will have to see what happens when I hear from him later

[Julezy]

Good luck hun ;) I hope I'm wrong

[sailorjupiter]

he was just checking whether you're sleeping or you're with somebody else. It's a classic trick of boyfriend, just want to make sure his girlfriend is safe and just to make he feels satisfied that you're alone (not cheating on him). then he went to sleep. that's all.

[dashyguydotcom]

1:30 am? maybe he just fell asleep.. or was drunk? I get that you care a lot about him, but what you just described is veeery paranoid behaviour :D

[Asker]

Well it's just frustrating because he knew I was sleeping. And the only other times he has ever done this is when he's sick, has an emergency, something like that. Not for no reason whatsoever. He doesn't drink other than on weekend nights (fri/sat) because he's a grad student and has early meetings and classes. So I don't understand why. And i called him back right away and got no answer which is why it made me nervous that he was actually sick or something. He calls me for those things, which I appreciate because he obviously trusts me that I'll be there and if he were sick or there was a problem that he was having that he needed help, why would I just ignore him?

[dashyguydotcom]

well then ask him in a nice friendly tone :D your problem is very specific and can't be solved with our opinion :D

just ask him, i'm sure he'll understand you and tell you straight up why he did it and what happened

[edmicabae]

maybe this time he wanna break up

[Anonymous]

he was just thinking about you.

[Anonymous]

Pocket dial

[Asker]

I thought that for a second, but he didn't even say "sorry, didn't mean to call". He was deliberately calling me. He had called earlier last night while i was asleep but I didn't see that until this later call woke me up.