Why would a guy constantly accuse you of talking to other guys?

[Anonymous]

Basically I am in a friends with benefits relationship with a good friend of mine for a year now. I find it really odd that he accuses me of talking to other guys and possibly having a boyfriend when he has said he doesn't want a relationship but he cares for me. Even though he makes it a point to call me his lover, friend and I am the only one he's been with. He is very affectionate and caring towards me (massages and kisses all over). The truth is I am not dating anyone because I don't feel like guys appreciate good girls like me so I don't bother. We can not have a normal conversation without him saying he knows I have someone else. When I ask him if he has proof of his claims he says no, "I just know you're doing it, because you are a woman and its nature plus I don't care if you do". He says I don't tell him what I do when I am not around him but I honestly don't feel like I have to. I don't question him on what he does, just ask how was his day. If I am on the phone he tries to piece together what I am talking about. I feel like his words are contradicting with his actions. Can anyone give me clues to why he migt be behaving like this?

[BurtonTricks]

Lol. He wants to be an "exclusive" friends with benefits with you. And what if you do have another fwb? Is that a crime? He needs to get off his high horse and start looking at the reality of the situation. You guys aren't exclusive. He wants you all for himself when you guys are only friends with benefits.

I can see that he obviously wants to be more than just friends with benefits. If you don't feel the same way, this could be a problem as he wills tart having feelings for you when you necessarily don't feel the same way about him.

[Asker]

I think he gets mad at me when I can't return the level of affection he gives me. He has been straying away from having sex lately, we watch movies and fall asleep wrapped up in each other. LOL! So maybe you are right that he might want more, but doesn't want to verbalize it.

[BurtonTricks]

Yeah I'm pretty sure that's it. He must have feelings for you.

[Asker]

I don't know where to go from here, because I know he will try to change the subject if I ask. I guess I'll try being more affection for a while and gauge his reaction from there. Thank you for actually helping me! :)

[BurtonTricks]

Anytime! And just try showing some more affection like you said, and see how he takes it. If he's still accusatory, then stop talking to him. If he has insecurities, that's his own problem and you shouldn't have to put up with it.

[Asker]

Okay will do, I'll let you know how it turns out. Thanks again!

[Anonymous]

He could be paranoid or insecure. Or, he may think that you are too flirtatious when you think you're just being friendly. If you don't want to date guys, then why do you care?

[Asker]

Simply because its annoying to hear the same thing over and over. Plus I just wanted another opinion just to further understand what the heck is going on with him. But he is a good person when he is not nagging and I enjoying talking to him.

[aneleda]

This whole situation sounds messed up. You consider yourself a "good girl", but then have a "friend with benefits"... and then the friend is a manipulative asshole, yet you are still with him?

[Asker]

So because I am a girl who chooses to be single because its hard to meet a guy with genuine motives and focus on myself I am not allowed to have an active sex life?

[aneleda]

Sure you are "allowed"... but why call yourself a "good girl" then? Good girls are normally those who wait for marriage.

[Asker]

You're opinion on a "good girl" is a matter of your own personal beliefs. Which is fine I respect it, but I will not allow it dictate me. Have a good day!

[aneleda]

It's a fact, not an opinion. If you don't like it, you should rethink your life choices instead of lashing at people who try to disillusion you. And quit hanging around that douche bag. He'll end up hurting you.

[Asker]

Looking at my previous comments where did I "lash" out at? I thought we were sharing opinions? I am not mad in the slightest (I'm actually amused by you honestly). Thank you for the laugh girl, enjoy the rest of your day!

[ManaX]

I'm not a man, but I feel the need to give you this tip. When his words don't match his behavior, go with what his behavior is telling you and ignore the words.

[69robbiee69]

HE IS INSECURE