Why is he ignoring me all of a sudden?

[Anonymous]

So, I met this guy a month ago at a party. From the start, it was pretty clear that he was attracted to me even though nothing happened between us the first time. He asked me out after that (not sure if it was a date, he didn't specify...) and I agreed. It was fun and we went on a second "date", after which he kissed me for the first time. Since we're both pretty busy we saw each other about once a week and texted the rest of the time. I noticed that he's not that big on texting so it was never an everyday thing for us, which is cool with me. He was the one to initiate the texts by the way. Anyway, a day after our second date there was this party we were both going to and we agreed to meet there. I arrived pretty late though and then lost my friends so I wasn't in the best mood... After about half an hour of walking around and looking for my friends he found me and I spent the rest of the night with him. I didn't really have fun though because I was worried about my friends and I felt like I was ruining the night for him as well. He said he didn't mind and actually told me that he liked me. Stupidly, I didin't say anything back but like I said, I was pretty out of it that night. After about one hour we took a cab back home (which he paid for) and he walked me back and hugged me. And that's it. Then he just started ignoring me all of a sudden. I don't know if it's my fault for being boring, or maybe the fact that I didn't show enough interest? I even wondered if he waited for me to text him first and after a week I finally did. He replied to the first message and seemed happy but now he's been ignoring me for 3 days (but he's been online on facebook). I actually saw him on campus a couple of times and he just pretended like I didn't exist even though I'm pretty sure he saw me... So my question is, what's his problem? Is it some kind of strategy to get my attention or is he simply not interested anymore? I'm just so confused right now :(

[Originalshot]

I usually like to be optimistic and give people a good point of view but here I think it's more possible that he has lost his interest in you. But! there is a little chance of getting it back if you play it well and carefully! Because the harder you try the further you push him away.
So you might (pretty possible) get his attention by not trying to get his attention. At all!
Because if he lost his interest, you will not be getting it back by trying, believe me, you'll only make things worst. So your best move here is to step back either because he is "gone" and have the chance of getting him back with that or not.

All you need to do is, to mostly, return the things he does for you. Pretend that you don't care about him either, all of the sudden. By this it is pretty possible (to say, it's about 60%) that he will be wondering on how come you don't care about him. Also with this you won't look desperate and you'll show that he isn't that much of a deal breaker here.

I hope that helps! good luck!

[Asker]

But if I ignore him, then he'll just assume that I don't like him at all and that's not true. I admit, I didn't show that much interest and maybe he just decided to move on but it still puzzles me that he would just ignore me like that... That's just mean. We had so much fun together when hanging out so I just don't get it :(

[Originalshot]

Based on your description this option felt to be right from my point of view. I don't know a lot about the connection between you two but you can partially consider my thoughts but do what feels right for you too. Listen to what others have to say (like myself) but mostly, listen to your instincts and that first little voice in your head. Those are usually good guider's. :)

[Asker]

Ok, thanks for the advice! I guess I'm just worried that he'll mistake my silence as a sign that I don't like him. I'm usually pretty passive when it comes to guys and I let them do all the work. Often times they just get tired and stop writing altogether...

[Originalshot]

He shouldn't mistake it. Give him just enough sweetness. A bit above friendship. You'll do great! I really don't think he lost all of his interest.

[tenchu11]

Should of told him you liked him... left him hanging after confessing his feelings.

[Asker]

But I'm not sure if I like him. I like spending time with him but it doesn't necessarily mean that I like him romantically. I don't want to lead him on...

[tenchu11]

Then that's why he's ignoring you. You don't have feelings for him and it's good of you not to want to lead him on. He's a guy and we move on to greener pasture.

[Asker]

Hmm, fair enough. But why did he reply to my text then? I texted hi and that's what he replied: Hey! Haven't heard from you in a while. How's uni?
Does it mean something or was he just being nice?

[tenchu11]

Because he likes you but at the same time he knows you don't like him. So he isn't going to fully commit the time and effort as before to you

[Asker]

Ok, that makes sense. But why is he ignoring me IRL then? A hi can't be that hard, right? He acts like he doesn't know me at all... We stay in the same dorm so we run into each other sometimes

[tenchu11]

Sigh... us guys are hard to show our emotions so saying "I like you" means he peeled his armor exposing himself saying "I think about you all the time your so fucking beautiful please don't hurt me". So yeah he is just licking his wounds

[Asker]

Oh, I didn't think of it that way. God, I feel so stupid right now...