Signs a guy LIKES you vs. just being friendly?

[hollywood94]

In the FIRST conversation - so you just met this person - what are some of the signs a guy is interested in you as a crush compared to just being friendly?

Updates

+1 y

Assuming you're not ABSOLUTE total strangers. Like you both are in the same grade at school, for example, but never talked until this point.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, this is a long post, but need some advice and similar topic... So I moved to a new city in another country and there is this guy from my home town who also lives here, we have lots of friends in common but have never actually met before. We had been meaning to meet up for over a year and it just never seemed to happen, timing was never right. Then I started to develop a kind of Facebook crush on him, he makes beautiful art very similar to my style of art, we are from very similar backgrounds and almost the same age (28+29) and he is really attractive. Anyway we eventually organised a meeting and after all the time we had waited I had got really excited and it almost felt like going on a date, even though I told myself many times that it wasn't!!! When we met he took me to this smokey, candle lit bar and we sat in the corner (it was already pretty romantic). We got on so well, literally spoke about everything, familly life, growing up, work... relationships... and I was kind of feeling the whole time that it was a date and it was going really well until he told me that he was living with his girlfriend. Now I don't know what to do, obviously the meeting continued to go well and we ended up leaving the bar separately quite drunk (he also paid everything, refusing to let me contribute anything). We said we should definitely meet again soon. But it's so annoying, I can't get him out of my head. I really feel like he is my absolute dream man but I can't work out if he felt the same and I know I should completely forget it as he has a girlfriend who he lives with. But I cannot work out if he is just a nice guy or was he in to me, maybe he is like this with all girls? Since then we have texted just a couple of times just saying again that we should meet again soon and I went to see his exhibition but he was out of town and he said he wished he was there so he could give me the tour personally. I feel pretty stupid liking someone that is in a relationship anyway and I know I should forget it... He is probably just a nice guy that is like this with most people he gets on with.

[Yeahno12]

Likes you:
-asks you personal/deep questions (going beyond small talk)
-appears to really listen to you and is genuinely curious about your life/interests
-preens himself around you (like with his hair or his clothes)
- touches you subtly (like a small hug)
-did he smile/face light up when he first saw/met you? Then he probably finds you attractive
-asks for your number and messages you after you met

Just being friendly:
- small talk mainly, asks generic questions
- looks around the room a lot instead of staring into your eyes, appears to be distracted
- doesn't touch you.
- doesn't really listen to what you say
-forgets your name more than once
- appears to be very confident and not at all nervous around you. Also his smiles (if any) will be very false and not genuine

[hollywood94]

Great answer, thank you :)

[Tkd233]

tries to touch you a lot. Gives you lots of compliments, hangs on your every word, aaks for you number. gets a glow in his eyes when he sees you.

[ObscuredBeyond]

If I like you, the first conversation will contain some nervous braggadocio that's easy to see through. I'll joke about whatever you're doing in a way that is poorly-disguised flirting. If you bring up a topic we have a common interest in, you will see me light up very quickly, and even forget for a second about how shy I am. I'll test to see how much you really know about the topic, and then obsessively educate you about any detail that I feel you still need to know.

If you light up too, I gauge the waters to see when to call the conversation quits If you fall awkward silent for too long, I'll assume I said too much and excuse myself from the area.

Also, if I like you, I'll wave to you and smile more than I would to anyone else. I'll treasure every encounter with you, whereas I might usually ignore a regular gal or even avoid her, depending on my history with her.

In subsequent conversations, if I have a serious crush, it will be hard for me to talk to you. It's because my own romantic aspirations drive me to perfectionism, and I'm too afraid of screwing up to spit out what I want to say.

The old saying: "If she rejects you, so what?" isn't true. I've been hurt by 3rd parties that gals have badmouthed about me to, because she'd rather use 3rd party intimidation to get rid of me than reject me to my face.

Therefore, I'm terrified of rejection. Not because it's humiliating, but because I'm convinced she won't stop at simply rejecting me. She'll try to ruin my life next. I'm fed up with constantly being ushered into back rooms "for a chat" by authority figures who refuse to explain in advance that it's really about her making up stories, and then not allowing me to defend myself from her allegations.

I wind up not only resenting the women who do this to me, but especially resenting the authority figures who have a guilty-even-when-proven-innocent mentality. Because no matter how unfair the circumstances are, the only one who ever pays is me.

[james_mark]

Confident guy: is going to be very direct with you, compliments you, maybe even touch you and will ask your number right away. he will ask you a lot of questions too!
Shy guy: you can see it clearly in his eyes, he might fail to maintain a strong eye contact, however. he will open himself to you if you made him feel secure and make the first move.
But being friendly? hmm i think guys are only friendly if they are interested in you. unless if he was waiter, manager, receptionist, doctor, last but not least GAY.

[AI Opinion]

Tips On How To Tell If A Guy Is Interested In You Or Just Being Friendly

It can be tough to tell if a guy is interested in you or just being friendly.

Here are some tips to help you figure it out:

1. Pay attention to his body language.

If he's leaning in toward you, making eye contact, and smiling, he's probably interested.

2. Listen to the things he says.

If he's asking you questions about yourself and your life, he's probably interested.

3. Observe how he interacts with other people.

If he's being flirty with you but not with anyone else, he's probably interested.

4. Trust your gut.

If you think he's interested, he probably is.

If you're still not sure, the best way to find out is to ask him directly. Just be direct and say, "I'm wondering if you're interested in me. I'm interested in you and I want to know if you feel the same way." This will give him the opportunity to be honest with you and let you know where he stands.

[Summeroflove]

Interested in you as a crush keep in mind some men may be more nervous or want to get to know you. Just because someone currently doesn’t have feelings doesn’t mean they cannot materialize so be direct and everyone’s different.

Does he ask deeper questions? Or is it basic small talk and non open ended questions and answers. Someone interested will want to learn more about you but if he keeps conversations brief he’s probably being nice.

He treats you differently if someone has more then platonic feelings he will probably treat you differently in some way or another. It could range from being more reserved around you because he’s nervous about revealing his true feelings all the way to being a show off around you to try to press you and show confidence to mask his nervous energy. He may also treat you as more the a friend…. Such as wanting to hang out with you more, having deeper conversations, responding to you faster, then he does with his other friends.

Initiating texts and quicker responses. Green flag. Now if he’s busy understand that.

[Hezigrimm]

Even as an anxious and shy guy I still send sinlgnals. I look in their eyes and I have the tendency to say wonderful a lot. Like say you say that you recently got promoted or something in that nature I would say well that's just wonderful glad to hear.

[hollywood94]

Do you act any differently around the girl when your friends are around compared to when they're not around?

[Hezigrimm]

Well I never been around my friends when this particular girl is around, but going from past experiences yeah a bit. I mean I am actually more open and joking with my friends. I try to not ignore her but sometimes it happens. She can jump in anytime she like with me. Anyways after reading some of your comments to other comments I say he likes you.

[hollywood94]

Thanks for your input :) Hopefully I'll get to talk to him next time I see him - I don't see him in person very often, and when I do he's always with a group of friends and lots of people around. See if he still acts the same way or not.

[Hezigrimm]

You are welcome and I hope everything works out for you.

[hollywood94]

Thank you :)

[Rloco]

This really depends on the guy. If he seems more outgoing and open he will most likely flirt and send signals. If he is shy like I am he will never let it show and only show friendship. Just look for signals if you like a quiet guy you may have to STRONGLY hint if not tell him out right.

[hollywood94]

I'm not real sure - he seems pretty outgoing and confident around his friends and tries to ignore me. Then when his friends aren't around he'll come up and talk to me directly, and in that situation he seems a little more nervous. Still outgoing - he came up to me when I wasn't by myself - but doesn't seem like he knows what to say even though he's clearly trying to extend the conversation. But then his friends come back and he goes back to ignoring me, so I'm not sure if he was just being friendly? He had no reason to talk to me, or even to acknowledge me, but he did, so I'm confused.

[Rloco]

It depends on the context of your conversation. If her seemed to be talking to you but not really have much to talk about he find you at least interesting. He might be ignoi you in front of his friends because he finds you attractive and doesn't want them to tease him and stuff. Try to really see how he acts. Nervous is great if you want him to like you.

[hollywood94]

He came up and complimented me. We had never met before then and I was so caught off guard I really didn't even know what to say after thanking him and such. I did ask him a fairly general question a little bit later when he came in the room, which got a few sentences back and forth, but neither of us seemed to know what to say beyond that, either. But basically it was just very light, kind of small talk.

I would like for him to like me. :)

[Rloco]

It seems like her could maybe initiate conversations and when you do talk flirt in subtle ways. Just try to see if he gets nervouse in a good way when you flirt or seems uncomfortable.

[hollywood94]

I'll give it a shot. I don't see him in person very often but hopefully I'll get to talk with him next time... and be READY for it this time, haha

[MusicMayhem]

He leans forward closer to you when talking (especially the case if you two are seated opposite one another), looks you in the eyes for longer, might run his hand through his hair occassionally (kinda like girls haha), and otherwise just tries to be around you more and talk more often.

[Anonymous]

you should be able to see it in his eyes. they say the eyes, never lie

[hollywood94]

I was so surprised by him talking to me (it was totally out of the blue, although someone told me that it seemed like "he'd probably been rehearsing it in his head all night") that I don't even remember what his eyes were like... haha!

[Opinion Owner]

sounds to me like he likes you.. i thought guys were the ones that miss the signals girls throw at them. seems to me like some girls have the same problem :P

[hollywood94]

Hahaha I haven't exactly had a lot of experience with it, either. ;)

And I do like him, so I'm trying not to add too much of my own emotion into it and end up misreading.

[VicMars14]

If he tries to be nice (maybe a little too nice) he's probably into you. If you two are talking and he looks you straight in the eyes, he likes you (maybe not too much to ask you out. Sometimes, if you walk up to him when he's talking to his friends, his friends will be either nice to you, or tease you a lot. These are both signs that he likes you. Hope this helps

[Jennygzlz96]

It is different with every guy you have to notice how he treats all woman if he treats you considerably with more affect or has more contact or whatever its more likely that he likes you

[Georgenapil]

U will find him sometimes hyper and sometimes quiet, he will be a gentle man with u and this will be clear to u.
He will ask u for hanging out, facebook, going to parties. He will be interested to be with u.

[nstraub]

In the first conversation, I may like you, but still can't be sure I really like you until I know more about you...

[Anonymous]

I think there's no sure signs except for gut feelings. I suppose you can always feel there's something more there rather than what he say or do.

[Brewster66]

If you know this guy but, have never made virbal contact, chances are that what he is experiencing is a crush. On the other hand, if you are interested in him, don't waste time waiting for him to make the first move. He may be shy so, go for it.

[HighlanderTheOne]

Don't ask subjective questions expecting objective answers.

[ConsultantIsBack]

Just do this test:
Go up to him, "hey cutie wanna see me naked?"

If his jaw is open and stutters some incoherent response then you're good to go 👍

[elew4too]

Any guy that concludes that he likes you before concluding his first conversation with you is a guy that you shouldn't be messing with because he's too easy.

[hollywood94]

I should've mentioned this in the original post - in my particular case, this guy already was well aware who I was. We just never actually met until recently.

I can definitely see your point if you have never seen the guy before. That would be weird.

[TierraArvia]

A guy that likes you would flirt with you and tell jokes to make you laugh. A guy being friendly would just talk to you.

[apple24]

Ugh... read a my take! It tells you. Also, the answer is simple !

[Aeon_Flux_21]

I like a girl: Sup girl I wanna fuck that pussy.
I want to be her friend: Sup girl I wanna fuck that butthole.

See after a butt fuck you can always stay fiends. Anus lacks value.

[Bards]

If his knee isn't on your knee then he's not interested

[Anonymous]

Signs he like you = wants to have sex

Signs he's just friendly = wouldn't mind having sex with you

Signs he's just friendly but your just unattractive = he wants nothing to do with you sexually

[KaranSharma55]

eye contact... body language.. word i don't thing they define

[Olivetreebeauty]

I'm just here to see what you all have to say

[gobsmacked3]

strangely, i tell the woman i like her

[Azara]

no way! thats insane!!

its hilarious you're the only person who has said this., seems like the most obvious thing to do. efficient practical little room for confusion,.. path of least resistance and all. ;-)

[gobsmacked3]

@Azara life is too short to not be direct

[Azara]

Agreed.

[Maverickj]

Ask him and find out.

[Kalifornia77]

The way he looks at you.