He couldn't care less if I'm upset?

[Anonymous]

which makes me more upset.

I'm going through a rough place in life. I had to quit my job, my grades have started falling, I'm going through things with my family, and (pathetic as it sounds) I'm being bullied, and my relationship with my boyfriend is upsetting me even more.

I'm tired of being stressed out, being told I'm ugly, putting in work and getting lousy results, etc.

sometimes I just break down and I can't even talk to me boyfriend about it. he just seems me crying and tells me to feel better. no hugs, no kisses, no "i love you it'll get better"s

I've talked to him and told him I need his support but he just doesn't get it. how can I make him understand that I need him to be there for me and comfort me?

Updates

+1 y

sees* me crying

[Simple-Simonette]

Not everyone knows how to nurture. Although it may feel like he doesn't care, what he's probably feeling is helplessness. I'm an action girl - you want someone to kick ass and take names, I'm your girl. I do a terrible job at comforting, if you come crying to me I am lost - the awkward back-patting, the uncomfortable fidgeting. It isn't because I don't care, it's because I don't know what to do. No one comforted me as a child, and it isn't something that comes naturally to everyone.

Maybe he's supporting you in the only way he knows how - by just being there. As someone who is uncomfortable with physical affection when I'm crying - just a person witnessing my breakdown is enough. We all deal with things in different ways.

I understand when times get tough, it's hard to think of those around you. We can only shoulder so much in life. Don't let this be another burden on you already overburdened shoulders. You can implicitly instruct him or take what you can get.

You will get past this no matter what - it will pass as everything does.

Good luck, sweetie. Feel better.

[Carson1023]

Honestly, if he cares for you it should be natural for him to want to help you and make you feel better.. To me it just seems like he doesn't care much for what is going on in your personal life and how that is affecting you. If you have tried talking to him and he still doesn't get it and start trying, there really isn't a lot you can do to get him to start being there more for you.. I'm sorry for such a negative answer, I really hate it when I give them, but I don't really know what else to say about this..

[Asker]

Thats so depressing... : ( but thanks.

[Carson1023]

I'm sorry, I don't like telling people the negative side of things.. but I'm not really sure what else can be said..

[Blackkid]

You can't "make him" get it. He's probably avoiding it for one reason or another, ask him why he avoids you when you're crying. If he's uncomfortable with emotions or thinks you're just "being a girl" his maturity rating might be a little low. If it's because he's genuinely confused on how to deal with it tell him how he can help you step by step.

[Asker]

We've been together for 3 years though, so he should care by now right?

he's always been mature about other things

[coolbeens]

whos telling you that you are ugly?

[R-Fresh_DirtyD]

Who say's your ugly? O.o

[Asker]

People from my group of 'friends' at uni