He won't date me because my ex was bigger than him?

[Anonymous]

So me and this guy I've liked for a LONG time finally hooked up. We couldn't in the past because I was already with my ex. But we broke up 4 months ago. So just 4 days ago on Halloween night, we were drinking at a friends house and I just went for it. I kissed him and straddled him and he just went with it too. Then after sex, I don't know how, but we started to talk about ex's. Like an idiot; since I know how sensitive guys can be, I mentioned how big my ex was. At first it seemed like he didn't care. We slept together through the night and then went our separate ways in the morning.

I was expecting him to text me and ask me out but he never did. So yesterday I texted him and asked him out. He rejected me and I asked why. It took awhile but he finally said that he thinks I faked it when we had sex and doesn't want to be with a girl who's had bigger. I got pissed off and didn't reply and he hasn't sent anything else either. What the hell was his problem? He gave me one the best nights and orgasms I've had during sex! My ex felt good, but he wasn't as good as my friend. There was just something else with him that my ex didn't have. And I don't even know why he's freaking out! He was big enough that I could fit both of my hands around it. What should I do? I don't want to just give up either.

[LethalTactics]

Uh. You can't change how he feels. Trying to persuade him can just make things worse. I mean too be honest no offense but the fact that you felt something for him while being with your ex makes me feel like you need to think about relationships and life. If you actually did care about your ex in someway you would have pulled back a bit from your friend since YOU knew you liked him. You're kinda in a lose lose situation. I've been through what he's feeling because, I asked my ex the same question and even she told me I was better for one since I didn't actually hurt her a lot like he did in the bedroom. I felt discouraged I felt as if she was faking it as well or I wasn't pleasuring her like she was use to. Its a mental state of his mind which you can't change unless time goes by and he comes to you. Time is the greatest healer of all. Have you ever heard of exes getting back after a while? Or friends reconnecting after a while? Its the same thing as this. Just leave him be about it and if you already haven't do the decency of at least blocking your ex so he completely knows its over unless you told him so.

[Asker]

I always liked my friend but he never asked me out, but my ex did. I was a teen and wanted a boyfriend. But I dumped him because I just wasn't in love with him. And contact is impossible since my ex moved half way across the country.

[LethalTactics]

Okay. So with this being said, please don't date a guy just because, you want a boyfriend. That makes things just horrible. Like for instance I went years without even wanting a girlfriend. The person that is right for you comes along while improving yourself rather then you actually looking for a boyfriend.

[Asker]

I was 15. You really think I was wise enough to know that?

[LethalTactics]

I understand I just mean as of right now.

[Anonymous]

So, how would you have reacted if he'd waxed lyrical about how much tighter and wetter his ex's vagina had been than yours, immediately after having sex with you? Would you have been happy about it? Would you have felt that he really enjoyed the experience, or that he must have been faking it, and couldn't have really enjoyed having sex with a vagina which was so much looser and dryer than that of his ex-girlfriend? Especially if he got pissed off and ghosted you for four days straight immediately after you said you didn't want to be with a guy who'd had tighter, and didn't express any satisfaction with your sexual performance at all. You think you'd still have any doubts in your mind that your suspicions were true, that he wasn't satisfied with the sex because your pussy just wasn't tight enough compared to his ex, after four days of total silence after he cut off communications with you on that note? You've completely killed your chances here. And if he has any pride or self-worth, he'll never give you a second chance, not now.

[Ayra_Frey]

Guys are competitive, this is well known. You don't go talking about how big your ex was... if a guy's interested he might try and compare what was great about that ex and compare himself to that ex like "Can I be better?"
And their size down there is something guys can be sensitive about. That's the problem. You should tell him how you felt that night, honest and he should take your word for it. Being big isn't everything. Besides, the guy's an ex so who cares about how he was, he's in the past

[ihateheroicleishin]

I don't think I could tolerate a large penis. Makes me want to dawn a chastity belt. Yikes. I dunno, he sounds immature. I'd just move on.

[Asker]

That's not an option. I've been stalking this man since middle school.

[ihateheroicleishin]

what do you mean stalking?

[Asker]

Well, not stalking. But I've tried to stay as close to him as I could.

[ihateheroicleishin]

Why this guy though in particular?

[Asker]

for a few reasons. It's easy to talk to him. He never talks so he keeps all my secrets. He helps everyone at the drop of a hat. He's not... great looking. But I find him attractive. He's possessive in the good way. Seeing how he acted with his only 2 girlfriends. I think protective is a better word. We share A LOT of the same hobbies. And now, because he's amazing at sex.

[ihateheroicleishin]

does he know how you feel?

[Asker]

Me throwing myself on him and asking him out should tell him.

[ihateheroicleishin]

Try waiting it out a few more days and calling him? Maybe you could talk things out.

[GingerGuy]

I'm guessing here, but I think when you mentioned your ex, he took that as you wanted/preferred that and you didn't like/enjoy him. He took it personally, not in a random conversation type way. His feelings were hurt but instead of saying that, he said what he did and then you got pissed off and it snowballed from there. You have to talk to him again when you both have calmed down and explain what you meant. That it wasn't a "personal attack" but just talking. That you enjoyed it with him MUCH more and his penis size does not matter. He may not be able to see past it now, but if he is going to, this is the only way.

[Kaazsz]

Well I guess that's a lesson for you. Don't ever tell a man you've been with a bigger dick! lol. See, us men are stupid, and the size of our penis means more to us than practically everything in the universe. Yes, it's pathetic lol. What can you do? Fuck if I know. It's too late, you already fucked up lol. I doubt any amount of confessing how much better he was will matter. Like I said, men are stupid like that.

[Asker]

There has to be a way to get him to stop acting stupid.

[mikemx55]

Well, you acted pretty stupid as well.
I think any confessions will just agravate the fact that he thinks you're lying.

[Kaazsz]

There is a way for him to stop acting stupid. But there ain't shit you can do about it lol. He needs to stop being a dumb fuck in his own mind and grow up and realize he doesn't need to be the biggest dick on planet fuckin earth lol.

[john52461]

speak for yourself bud

[john52461]

I see girls doing similar stuff when they see pics of your old gf's and if one is prettier than her or has bigger tits/ass they also get self-conscious. My guess is if he was so hurt by it he probably has a dick on the smaller side? Am I right? When I meet a girl I don't tell her that I've had prettier girls or my last gf's tits were bigger (and I've played with some very big real tits).

I went out with a girl who said her boyfriend was bigger and it didn't bother me because mine is not small but normal size. Did you tell him what you said above how it was one of the best orgasms you had?

[Anonymous]

You're not a guy so you wouldn't understand. The thing is, we don't like being told your ex is bigger. Women are always talking about how much they love big penises and so many guys have gotten dumped because the girl thought his penis is small. Truth is, he feels he's not big enough for you. Also, women usually admit that once they have a big penis then go to a smaller one, they'll miss the bigger one. I'd also like to add that guys with smaller penises are more likely to get cheated on for a guy with a bigger size than him.

[Ahsain]

because society drills it into guys heads that how much of a man you are is pretty much determined by your penis size. He probably thought that you would never be able to think that he's as good or better than your ex

[john52461]

works both ways, girls are made to feel that if they aren't pretty that they're useless or same with tits. There's so many girls with implants it's ridiculous.

[Ahsain]

That's true but I'd say it's not to quite the same extent. If a girl has small boobs then she can make up for it with a nice body or butt or legs or face (not that I'm saying she needs to). And the size of their boobs have no major practical application, unlike a penis. And it's a lot harder to make up for a small penis.

[john52461]

I see your point but if I guy is rich then girls don't care about his size

[Ahsain]

They'll be with him yes, but that doesn't help him in the bedroom. That also only applies for a very small amount of men.

[greycadillacs]

He's insecure, it's ridiculous. Just write out to him what you wrote above. If he doesn't respond, or continues acting like a petulant child, he's not for you. Worst case scenario, he's always going to feel insecure about it with you and it'll always be in the back of his head and it'll eventually erode your relationship.

[disgustingweebtrash]

"What the hell was his problem?"
"I mentioned how big my ex was."
found the problem, lesson learned: don't tell a guy your ex had a bigger dick

[Asker]

But WHY are you guys to hurt over that? If you gave a girl an orgasm and she says she likes being with you, why does it matter?

[disgustingweebtrash]

you saying your ex had a bigger dick means to him that your ex was better in bed, it also means to him that you are trying to say his dick was small

[Asker]

But it wasn't small! I could fit both of my hands around him and still have the tip poking out! How could he be insecure with his size?

[disgustingweebtrash]

it also makes it worse you said it to him right after sex, which would make him think you faked your orgasms, also believes since you've had bigger, smaller won't satisfy

[Asker]

I really don't understand.

[mikemx55]

Imagine he said: my exes V was tighter. And then apologized saying "don't worry, I was very satisfied with yours, I mean I could barely fit 3 fingers, you're good"

Is there a parallel universe where this wouldn't affect you? You may say it doesn't affect you, because you're not in that situation, but it would.

[john52461]

ok that's pretty much my size but with my hands, most all girls have smaller hands than me, when I put both hands on it I still have the head left over, it's too bad you had to say all that and that he got offended

[redeyemindtricks]

@mikemx55 "Imagine he said: my exes V was tighter. And then apologized"

^^ Wouldn't affect me, other than making him look like an idiot.

Honestly, if some dude said this, my first thought would be "well, buddy, you're just saying yr dick is small enough for that to matter." 😂😂
I mean... Tighter is not necessarily better, anyway. At least not according to any of the men I know who've fucked a lot. There is definitely such a thing as too tight.

[mikemx55]

@redeyemindtricks Just an example... geez

[mikemx55]

@redeyemindtricks If she likes the guy for real, this would affect her.
No point in pretending that it all just doesn't matter and all. It's a nice attitude to post on the internet, it just isn't real. True story.

[redeyemindtricks]

@mikemx55 I'm sure *some* women would be affected by that. I'm gna go ahead and say a lot more women wouldn't -- but they would think of HIM as a boorish dipshit.
In other words, the women's self-image wouldn't suffer... but their image of HIM would.

For women with a more fragile self-image, yeah, that could do some damage.

[mikemx55]

@redeyemindtricks "women's self-image wouldn't suffer" ?
Women are insecure as FUCK about their looks. I'll just throw a number in the air, and say that about 80% of them would feel insecure and insulted about it. And would be thinking about it for the next 6 months.
I get it that you're def part of that 20%, and maybe the people surrounding you are also like that, but most women aren't.

[redeyemindtricks]

@mikemx55 In this comment thread, I'm talking about the "my ex's V was tighter" comment. Which has nothing to do with looks (you might be confusing this discussion thread with the other one).

[mikemx55]

@redeyemindtricks Yes I was :X
They's still be insecure about it though.

[goldfinch23]

Next time keep your mouth shut. Men's ego gets hurt so easily. Or lie. Men aren't ready for some kind of answers, even if they ask those dumb questions.

[SmokemJay]

So if he said that his ex had a better ass and better pussy than you after sex how would that make you feel?

[spxtrader]

You pretty much messed up. Deal with it and move on. Had the roles been reversed, and it dealt with your insecurities, you would have flipped out. Congratulations for making one of the most obvious blunders evah. lol

[Anonymous]

That's the equivalent of saying "you are really hot and sex was great! but my ex-girlfriend was hotter and had bigger tits"

[Asker]

But I wouldn't mind that at all. As long as he's with me only.

[mikemx55]

Well, that's what you think now. And you also thought he didn't mind at the time. But then, in the real situation, you think about it, and it bothers you.

Maybe not so much the fact that he was bigger, but how you felt the need to say it right after sex?
Damn girl!! Bad timing. Like REAL BAD timing.

[Asker]

@mikemx55 We were a little tipsy and things just slipped out.

[mikemx55]

Either go full on apology and confession mode, or just wait that he doesn't want someone else already.
Hard call tbh.

[Asker]

@mikemx55 Why should I say sorry? I didn't do anything wrong.

[mikemx55]

Really? I mean really?
Can't you even admit that you fucked it up?
*sighs* well not with that attitude, you won't get him back

[Asker]

@mikemx55 I messed up but it's not something I should apologize for.

[redeyemindtricks]

@mikemx55 Dude... this is not how women think.

If we find out that a guy's ex-girlfriend (s) are substantially UGLIER than us, **THAT** is when we usually get turned the fuck off.
Hard to describe in words, but it's sort of like... he's putting us in the same league as *those* girls. That's not a good feeling.

I mean.. Have you ever known a guy who was objectively good-looking, and who you'd think would attract lots of women, but had a really fat girlfriend (for instance)?
In that case, that guy becomes basically *dead* to every other woman who's seen him with the fat girl.

[redeyemindtricks]

^^ So in other words... if all of a guy's ex's were really really hot, that's a POSITIVE to 99 percent of women.

[mikemx55]

@redeyemindtricks if an ex was better looking than her, then she gets paranoid about it lol.

[redeyemindtricks]

@mikemx55 That's sometimes true (if she sees the ex as still a threat)... but it would still be WAY WAY worse for the ex to be BELOW her league.

[mikemx55]

@redeyemindtricks Yeah, then she just thinks "how da fuck did he get that low?"

[redeyemindtricks]

@mikemx55 nah... tbh, for most women, it would become "he *IS* that low... and oh shit, that means I'm on that [low] level, too".

I think this is one of the hardest things about the typical female perspective for most men to understand.
If you see a girl you think is hot, you won't *stop* thinking she's hot if she says shit that's incredibly awkward or boorish, or if she has a couple of ex-boyfriends who (as you see it) were complete losers with nothing going for them. You'll still think she's hot.

For MOST women, that isn't the case. Those kinds of things -- like if he's awkward or "doesn't get it" in certain ways, or if his ex's are fat or trashy -- will actually **make him less hot** to most women.
Like, they'll even spill over into the women's perception of his PHYSICAL hotness, too.

[mikemx55]

@redeyemindtricks I agree when you say 'it would become "he *IS* that low" ' and to some degree, I think that also happens from men towards women. Maybe not as much as the opposite.

[Anonymous]

You bragging about how much bigger your ex was is a automatic redflag, no man wants to be cuckolded.

[Asker]

I wasn't bragging. We were just talking about past sexual experiences.

[Opinion Owner]

..."by the way my ex was significantly bigger than you, half man half donkey, the bottom half was donkey. "

[Blitzkrieger]

He feels inadequate, not much you can do about it since its all in his mind.

[Anonymous]

Size doesn't matter. Rey Mysterio proved it when he beat Big Show

[blutwolfe]

yeah there's no way you can recover from this lol

[Anonymous]

Really? So what happened when you woke up?

[Asker]

We said hi, had that awkward silence, then just got dressed and left.

[jurgenmeister]

what an insecure dude... nuff said

[SmokemJay]

I agree... As a young man did you feel the same way?

[Anonymous]

i'm bigger ;)

[Asker]

Good for you.