Guy acts hot and cold and I am confused?

[Anonymous]

Hello Hello! So I’ m not sure what to do about this guy…We are both foreigners who moved to Asia last December. We met about two months ago. We hooked up after a few dates and now we’ve been seeing each other on a fairly regular basis (2 times a week).
I made it quite clear right away that I was looking for a friends with benefits type of relationship. He agreed to do the same and we both have other dates on the side.
Our relationship was pretty intense to start with: sex is crazy, but there has been quite a bit of drama involved (including on long declaration on his side about why he could not see each other anymore. Needless to say we hooked up again within the same week). I’m usually a very chilled kind of girl and I don’t understand how he gets under my skin like that, but he does.
This said, lately he has been much more sentimental: lots of compliments, giving me pet names, asking intimate questions or worrying about my health, bringing me little gifts from his hometown aso aso. I think as a result I softened a bit. I am starting to really consider him as a friend. The thing is: he has been acting strange. It’s one of those push and pull dynamics. One moment he’s all soft, cooking me dinner or asking me on a week end, the other he booty calls me at midnight or cancels plans last minute.
I find this very unsettling. He is changeable and I don’t understand why. I am not sure how to address this. I am not in love, but I am certainly infatuated, and I don’t like playing games. I really enjoy our time together and I wish this could be a bit less hot and cold.
So I guess my questions are: why does he act like that, and what can I do about it?
Thanks!

[LesterJester]

As I have never been in this situation, I am limited in what I can help with, but it sounds more like he is trying to sort out how to do this "friends with benefits" thing.

Obviously he has interest beyond just sex, but you both made an agreement on what your relationship would entail. Now it sounds like you both have more interest with each other than before and if either of you decide to take things further, there's the risk one of you will hit the road and never come back.

I think that when it comes to this kind of relationship (friends with benefits) it's always good to sit down together after a while (like every few months) and reassess whether you both want to stay this way for a while longer or do something else.

[patella]

he wants more than sex but is afraid of a possible denial which angers him. be exclusive or estranged

[SarahsSummer]

He has feelings for you but is fighting them because you've said you were only looking for a friends with benefits.

[Account]

You should definitely confront him about that. It seems to me that he is taking you for granted.