He ignores me and it hurts me so much?

[Anonymous]

I have spoken to him just once very briefly.
I was so nervous while talking to him but still I did. I felt he really liked me because the way he stared at me before we talked, it was so pure and beautiful and he followed me instantly after I smiled.

I congratulated him, he told me about his new venture, then he grabbed my shoulder and said have we met and I said no because we had never met. We just saw each other a lot. Then he shook my hand and told me his name. Then he just left.

I was wondering he would stay but it seemed evident that he just cannot acknowledge me or my presence in front of people. I don't understand why talking to me in public is so damaging to him. He talks to girls all the time but why not me?

But since then he has been ignoring me. In front of his friends. I thought he is not comfortable with friends so its okay but later on it was evident he was intentionally ignoring me in front of his friends.

I did see him look into my direction but he's been so busy and as always surrounded by people.

I did not pursue him. He did. He kept bursting his eyes out whenever he saw me. His behaviour screamed attention seeking. He would continuously look at me without looking away.
And when I finally spoke to him, he treats me like I don't exist.

I wasn't misinterpreting his stares. At times I didn't even notice him staring and it was my friend who called him a creep for staring at me blankly.

I don't know what type of liking he had for me because he would only stare and seek attention whilst expecting me to initiate anything towards him. Had I not smiled that day, we wouldn't have spoken because he wouldn't initiate.

Did he expect me to seduce him? Because he seems like he was/is physically attracted to me but has no real interest in knowing me or pursuing me? Or he wants sex and wants to make me run after him because I ve noticed a guy friend of his smirk at me when he began ignoring.

[NaultD]

I think most guys don't know what to do with that vibe you give off and most girls don't know what to do with your feelings in this situation it's a spiral of dispointment for everyone. When you ask people for a date it's a leap of faith and you two are doing it backwards and it's more awkward, but in the end it's the same movement so just go full role reversal and try your best.

[harambeISded]

I don't know he sounds like he wants you but feels uncomfortable on how to do it.. I suggest saying a quick hi or wave or something to make him feel more comfortable around you... Otherwise just ignore him.. let him stare all he wants

[Tay1410]

That can be the male attitude sometimes I'm afraid. However, it can also come from our side as well, if they didn't receive the 'go ahead' signals in return. Sometimes, there can be a fear of rejection due to expectations that a guy has to do the approaching and pursuing!

[Asker]

But wasn't it enough for him that he stared at me and I smiled back and was willing to talk instead of avoiding him? He clearly saw me look at him whenever I would catch him looking at me

[Asker]

So me talking to him definitely meant I didn't think of him as a creep and responded back.

[Tay1410]

Sometimes even though we may feel that's enough, guys think completely differently to us. Mixed signals are often the case and I've been in positions myself where what I perceived to be really obvious signs that I was giving a guy he didn't feel was 'enough' so to speak

[naraku]

Well he probably likes you but thinks you don't like him if you have done nothing or little to encourage him again. One encounter doesn't do much most times. Believe me , I know.
So give him a few more signals even like a wave to get his attention.

[Asker]

I smiled at him before I left and he did too. What else he wanted me to do. He's always around people and I feel shy approaching him when he's around his friends.

[naraku]

So keep smiling.

Do not be the girl that's so shy you do nothing. He will think you don't like him otherwise... it will be like what happened to me and the girl I like.

So keep trying something.

[jinglybeads]

Girl, i'm sorry but that's on you. If he doesn't know you're interested, he might not be brave enough to approach to to potentially face rejection. If you want him to know for you, get over your shyness and approach him. it's unfair to think he has to do all the work all the time while you get to be safe in your little bubble and never feel rejection.

[Asker]

@jinglybeads but I did smile and talk to him. I did not ignore him. Had I ignored him it would be I thought he was creepy.
I clearly smiled at him and did that twice. He has noticed me returning back his stares.
What else does he want? I always want to speak to him but he's always running around and being with his classmates. How do I approach him?
I was expecting to smile at him but he flat out ignored me

[naraku]

@jinglybeads Yes ! It takes more than 1 smile and small conversation to convince me. I mean maybe you are just been nice or something plus what you do after the inter-action is important too. i. e. don't just walk off and then never do anything again except wait for him.

[Asker]

@jinglybeads I also feel left out because all he does is look but makes no effort to ask me out at least for conversations. We just know each others names and he ignores me. I clearly like him and he knows I'm sure.

[Asker]

I won't be here for 2 months and I desperately wanted to tell him and get his contact details but he just started ignoring me.

[jinglybeads]

@asker Look all i know is think about it from his perspective. he likes some girl who never looks at him, never speaks to him and never approaches him. she smiled once, but that was probably a fluke. He might try and stand around her, but he can't just loiter around like a freak, so he loiters with some friends. He's scared to approach her because she has shown ZERO interest. However, then he finds out that she liked him all along and that he made her cry, and is like, wtf i didn't do anything?

you can't expect him to take the risk if you won't. that's the point of dating, every has to put themselves forward to face rejection. if you can't work up the courage to do more to let him know you're interested, then you don't deserve him either.

[Asker]

@jinglybeads but I talked to him and it was him so started ignoring. I was looking for ways to talk to him but he just vanished.
What else can I do. I want to smile at him but he ignores me. He started the ignoring game. I am waiting to see him face to face but who knows he will ignore me again.

I didn't smile at him for no reason. We talked and I was willing inspire of being eye fucked to death in the last 2 weeks. Doesn't that tell him something or is he that dense?

[jinglybeads]

my experience with boys is they are DENSE (haha not that they are stupid, but they are human and fear rejection too!) All the fear of rejection you are feeling, he is too. He's probably waiting ofr some strong signals before feeling comfortable to be open, just as you are. so both of you accidentally send each other mixed signals - being shy peppered with some acts of interest.

look, you will never know until you ball up and ask him out. i know it's hard for shy people to do, but it will get you an answer and quickly. the rest is up to you.

[Asker]

@jinglybeads I wanted to tell him that I will be on holidays for 2 months and won't be able to see him and need to stay in touch but he shocked me by his sudden back tracking. I felt he doesn't like me or wanted seduction which he felt he won't get from me so he left.

He has no clue how much I want to talk to him. I saw him look in my direction but he's always on the go with people. What do I do :/

[Asker]

Plus he's so open and outgoing and with me he's always so hesitant or not there. With other girls he's so confident and chill

[jinglybeads]

I think he's different with you because he likes you.

But again i already told you what to do. just go up to him and talk to him, even if his friends are there. inject yourself in to the group conversation, then start asking just him questions and isolate the conversation between you and him - his firends will get the picture. then let slip to him you are going away, which sucks because you'd like to see him.

[naraku]

That's bc he probably likes you.

Are you confident and chill with guy's you like as friends? You get nervous around people you like.
Jinglybeads is correct with what she says about guy's ( yes we're fucking idiot's with this stuff ! ) and the other points as well.

In short do SOMETHING or miss out.

[Asker]

@jinglybeads yeah when he was chatting with me his voice was a lot softer but then he pulled this weird attitude. I highly doubt he will talk to me in front of his friends because he clearly prefers alone time. He was literally standing and gazing at me and smiled when both of us were completely alone. That's when he spoke to me.

[Asker]

Otherwise he would never smile never initiate when people are around and he was always watchful of people if he wanted to look at me. I caught him looking at everyone else first then quickly looking at me and leaving last week.

[naraku]

read this I wrote.
tell me , she likes me? Because maybe you are like her and I am like him.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a47221-shy-girls-the-very-subtle-clues-i-have-painfully-learned-if-they-are

[Asker]

@naraku okay but why ignore? Mind games? And what if I approach him and he ignores me?

[Asker]

@naraku she likes you its obvious

[naraku]

But do you see similarities between my crush and myself and you and he?
For you it might be obvious. It's obvious to a lot of people here that she likes me.
But, it is not obvious to me.
Just like it does not seem obvious to this guy.

I think he ignores you for 2 reasons.
1. He can't ignore people around him that would be rude wouldn't it?
2. It's not obvious to him.

I don't think this guy will ignore you. If he does it will hurt but at least you know right?
The worse part is not knowing.
Just smile again and wave and see if he comes over. If he smiles and waves back go over.

[WeirdoWerdo]

if he ignores u and you sure he isn't shy or something just move on. I'm shy and I can ignore my crush but I'm also stupid.. If he actually puts any amount of effort trying to get ya then he likes u but he a fuckboi or doesn't care at all

[bişer]

first i'm sorry to hear that
secondly maybe the only thing that he was thinking about it was "sex"
a lot of men atracted to hot women just to have one night stand with them.
if i where you i would move on and forget about him exactly.

[Anonymous]

Don't let him see you cry

[Asker]

I will always pretend to be okay in front of him but yeah his behaviour hurts me a lot. I expected at least a slight nod or a faint smile but he acts like I don't exist. But does look in my direction.

[Opinion Owner]

He doesn't deserve your tears

[Midget_Hug]

Maybe he's just silly.