Girls, would you stop a guy hugging, holding, and kissing you if you weren't interested?

[Anonymous]

The woman I am interested in lets me hug, hold and kiss her (on the forehead and cheek), and hold her hands.

To me it all feels very much like something only a 'couple' would do, but there is a problem. She is mostly pretty passive with the touching and in the past she has told me that she isn't interested in a relationship with me. I have tried to put all thoughts of her in that way out of my head, but her behavior is really confusing me, not least because she seems to be really happy when with me and enjoy the contact.

Do you think that she would let me have this level of physical contact with her if she wasn't interested? I know its doing my head in! I am afraid to raise the subject again in case she really isn't interested and hasn't changed her mind. But in that case, why does she let me carry on, because surely a girl can tell the difference between a friendly hug and one from someone who loves them? If you weren't interested you wouldn't want a man touching you all the time, would you? Please Help!

[lovely_girl]

First let me say whenever I see a guy kiss his girl on the forehead I think it is so romantic. Don't ask me why but I just do. Anyways I think you should test her. Try your hardest to just say hi when you see her no touching, holding hands, hugging, and definitely no kissing. And if she tries to do any of that to you ask her straight out " I thought you weren't interested? Are you?" and if she says no then ask her straight out again "Then why all this?". This could be a way to let her know you're looking for an actual relationship not a "bed buddy". She shouldn't get offended but if she does---she has no right you're just being straight forward and honest. If your not getting through to her keep with the blunt questions. But seeing she's a 34 year old woman she'll get the picture.

****Hope this helps just helping from experience

[Brianna987]

I think you're right - she likes your attention, and I think no woman in their right mind would let a man they don't like or feel comfortable with do that to her. But then she definitely comes off as manipulative - she knows you want a relationship with her, but withholds it, and just keeps dangling a carrot in front of your nose? I would ask her one more time, point blank, if she wants a relationship with you since she seems to enjoy your affection. If she says no - move on as the woman is not worth pursuing.

[Asker]

Thanks, this makes sense. It is hard to believe that she would be playing with me but it has occurred to me that this could be the case. I suppose I just don't want to believe that she would be like this.

[Brianna987]

She could be doing it unconsciously, kind of not letting you go, keeping you tied to her, but still keeping her door locked to you. However, whether it is subconscious or not, the fact remains that she's keeping you in an uncomfortable and wasteful spot, with your hands tied, so to speak

[alice96]

you might have noticed and if not you will girl do all these things all the time I went shoppign today and we walk around holding hand and we hug and stuff (no I'm not lezo) its just how girls act she might just treat you like she's treating her girl friends I would talk to her about it, its better to know then just going on not knowing

[jell9]

I do agree, however the kissing? Maybe you need to bring it up with her after a couple more weeks of seeing if she lets you do it. Or if she isn't doing anything back to you and letting you do everything, she may not be interested, but just letting you do it anyway. As I said, bring it up with her, see what she says about it all, good luck!

[Asker]

Well, she's 34 and I guess I haven't seen her doing this sort of thing, but I suppose she might do. I did ask her if it was a problem but she just said she 'didn't mind it as we've been through a lot this year'. Well, we have been through a lot but I am quite clearly (to me) not touching her as a friend but as a suitor, you know, a potential partner. I can't believe that she can't feel the difference. If she does hug female friends surely it ought to be even more evident, the difference, I mean?

[Asker]

As for the kissing, I feel sure that kissing her on the forehead is about the most obvious sign a guy can give that he adores a woman. I know some people say 'oh, I do that to my niece, it means nothing', but when a man does it to a woman (and remember, she knows how I feel about her) surely there can be no doubt about it? In which case, we are back to my original question: why would she let me do this, 'not minding' surely can never be a good reason?

[Asker]

The other observation I would make is that whilst a bit of hugging, and she does hug me back, is indeed indicative of friendship and probably nothing more. She is passive/submissive about the kissing and holding - she appears to enjoy it, never objects but never reciprocates either. With friends, if you did hold each other it would be hands maybe, but on top of hips or on the side of her body just above the waist or on the small of her back, or holding her face or neck, surely not?