My boyfriend didn’t stop when I used the safe word?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I decided to try using a rope, gag, and a whip for fun. We agreed the safe word would be when I held up two fingers. I didn’t think the whip would hurt a lot but after a while he started being rough so I held up two fingers and he tells me to hold on because he’s close. So I wait a little while and he uses the whip again. I held two fingers up and he tells me he can’t stop because it feels too good and he’s really close. I started to panic because not only the whip hurt, he was thrusting too hard and I was sore. He finally finished and told me he was sorry but my struggling really turned him on then he untied me. I cried and didn’t say a word to him. He apologized a lot but I don’t trust him anymore. Is it really that hard for a guy to stop when they’re turned on?

[Synttacks]

That sounds like an automatic dump. Part of the reason why I broke up with my ex was because if I went to far she basically just mentally went into fetal position and cried which I wouldn't find out until after. I would say if it was a 1-4 seconds of extra because "he was close" that would be acceptable but anything more than that would be abuse especially if he acknowledged it. Find someone better for you or dont have kinky sex with him.

[gcusack]

That is rapist behavior and he really needs to get help, talking to a Therapist can help if he refuses you minimally need to break up with him maximally report it to the police

[Asker]

I most likely will break up with him. I’ve never seen that side of him tbh it scares me and I don’t feel the same about him anymore

[gcusack]

Make sure you're safe too make sure you have a safe place you can go, this might be an early indication that he could explode if you try to break up with him.

[Cmasterson]

This is terrible and scary, I wouldn't practice this again with him, clearly he can't be trusted when on the verge of an orgasm. This is why these things can go WRONG during sex when you both are fairly new at it and im all for fun and games but its clear he doesn't know his limits and was very selfish.

[fauchelevent]

No, it is not hard if he has a basic level of respect for you. I don't think I could stay with someone who did that to me and then acted as if it was no big deal and his orgasm came before my safety.

[bbrnts666]

He was a fucking asshole, downright rapey. This shit IS NOT okay, he should NEVER prioritize his orgasm over your pain. Dump this piece of shit and never talk to him again, PLEASE.

[iluvtoknow]

No. What he did is really selfish, naïve, horrific, and unforgiveable. Seriosuly. That's horrible!

[Im_a_polar_bear]

No. It is not that hard... At all.
I'm sorry such event has happened to you..

[oddwaffle]

Time to leave him. BDSM is based on trust. The guy obviously doesn't really care much about your feelings or safety.

Probably kill you by accident someday while he tries to cum.

[Anonymous]

Break up with him, he doesn’t care about you and doesn’t respect you. You can find someone better

[Anonymous]

No when my freind/girlfreind is in trouble it is so easy to stop. Sadly as he said he got off on you being scared and struggling. RUN FOR THAT GUY!!!
He will only get worse and hurt you more.

[hellacray]

Maybe you should ditch the gag and come up with an actual safe word instead of gesture.

[btgs012]

Leave him now because that is a road you dont want to go down

[Blackhawk01]

I can.. Maybe he's sadistic and played right into it...

[ZanyInternetName]

Yeah, dump him on the spot.

[ZELLxoxo]

Don't stay with such a guy.

[reptocarl]

No he was just a selfish asshole

[ovoxo_]

This is how it's supposed to be sweetheart

[Smf1989]

No it is not that hard

[Mohamedyossef988]

Maybe for. Him