Why did my boyfriend pretend to put me in a headlock? Am I just being sensitive?

[Anonymous]

We were at the cafeteria and I was sitting at a table and he was standing. He suddenly pretended to put me in a headlock and he made a crunch noise. I know he wouldn’t hurt me but for some reason I felt scared and embarrassed that he would do that with people around. It felt disrespectful. I said “Don’t do that again, it makes me feel weird” and he just looked around distantly and said “Why? it’s just a joke” and walked away to get food.

At the beginning of the relationship he did this a few times and would pretend he’s about to punch or kick me. I would tell him to stop and that it scares me, so he didn’t do it for like a year until this time recently.

Is this normal? Why would he do that?

[sugarette]

He needs help. It’s a form of intimidation that has no place in any serious relationship. Take it as an affront to your well-being. Don’t even try to pretend to play along and imitate his behavior.

Tell him to stop it or else. Not only is this psychologically harmful to your mental health but also very disrespectful to your person. This is a whopper tell-tell sign for what the future may hold for you. Don’t become a willing victim of vicariously induced playful abuse.

[JustRollTheDice]

It was play thing and not even rule I'm sure it didn't hurt and you're just overreacting

[Vangelis]

What is not normal is your reaction.
Why are you afraid?
Are you traumatized somehow?
Why would you think he would really hurt you?
It's a pretty common "game " for humans , pretend aggressive.

[Asker]

I have anxiety issues so I get startled easily when people invade my space I guess. One time he pulled my ponytail hard as a joke and it hurt so I guess I worry he doesn’t know his own strength.

And sometimes I tell him I don’t want him to touch me sexually or I’m not in the mood and he continues anyway and I kind of freeze and feel afraid and it hurts. I sometimes find myself flinching when he touches me. During fights he says hurtful things until I cry and he doesn’t care and it makes me afraid of him. He says he’s not abusive because he never hit me.

[Vangelis]

He is really abusive.
Not for playing rough.
But all the other things you say are unacceptable, and if someone treated my daughter or sister like that I would end up in jail.
He is an asshole and doesn't care much for you.
Find someone who does , you don't have to be treated like shit just because you like someone.
Your happiness is the most important thing.
Not some punk.

[Sojex]

I agree with @Vangelis There's other ways to abuse someone without touching them. Ever heard of emotional abuse? Ding ding, that's what he's doing. And raping you apparently by your own admission. Get out while you can, for your own sake.

[joa959]

He's probably bored and doesn't know what to do with himself, and probably chosen the wrong thing to do, but there could be more to it than that, depends on his personality, something I can't comment on.

[myselfandi35]

It's fine his dad or something probably did jesters like that growing up. Mine did. I do it to my son. It's a guy thing. If he feels comfortable enough to share these moments with you be honored. You really are his friend. Stop rejecting his love lmao

[bacca400]

He's treating you like one of the guys. It's a guy thing. Guys like to roughhouse like this sometimes. Yes it's supposed to be a joke. If you don't like it tell him to stop every time he does it.

[Aynsof]

Well guys mostly young guys do that sort of thing to each other all the time
It is probably just that he is a little juvenile and actually thinks it is amusing and he probably hasn't learned how to behave around girls so much yet

[boggboss]

He is just fucking about but if u don't like it I guess that's it me and my girl always play fight

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Young guys tend to do these things. It's totally normal for young guys to do these things.

[Myrdices]

Guys are wild they play with the ones they care about