Why do guys who have girlfriends pursue other women?

[HotPepper302]

My guy friend is in a pretty serious relationship, but keeps hitting on me. If he doesn't want to be with his girlfriend, then why is he with her? And since he's choosing to stay with her, then why does he feel the need to pursue me at the same time? Any input is welcome!

Updates

+1 y

(Don't worry, I am NOT accusing all men of being like this, NOR am I saying that girls don't do the exact same thing sometimes... I just don't understand WHY. No need to get defensive).

[Surfinforlife]

It could have something to do with having an ego boost.

I know it sounds ugly, but it just goes to show you that guys are just the same as girls in some ways. Maybe his potential girlfriend is flirting with other guys in front of his face to test him or something and he doesn't like that. Or his girlfriend brings up conversations about other guys.. and her conversations about them doesn't sound good to him. So he goes and flirts with other girls to make him feel better.

But if she is really into him and does not play games but he still flirts with other girls, then he probably just likes the reassurance that other girls love him. That and he loves being a flirt/ player. Maybe he want't to make his girlfriend jealous and he thinks that by making her jealous, she would like him more. You never know what the true reason is or why he's doing this unless you were him. Pay attention to what he's doing. Is he flirting with other girls to (not just you)...and does not talk about his girlfriend at all in front of you? That probably says a lot about his situation. Hope that helped some!

[Anonymous]

might help his ego

she might be turned on by this

she might be turned on that he's turned on by u

he really doesn't want to be with her, but doesn't have the balls to leave

wants to know if you feel the same (have you told him how you feel)

[Anonymous]

I went out with a guy who did this to me, although at the time he sweared he didn't. He didn't just flirt though, he actually led this girls on and took them out. When I had proof and broke up with him he said that he wanted to have options in case we didn't work out. But then once I broke up with him he stalked me for like 5 years, and when I caught him sitting in a parking lot one day when I came out of a grocery store, I even asked him why he can't just let it go...I mean he was the one who was cheating, etc. He said cause I was the only one who ever rejected him. So it sounded like an insecurity / ego thing to me. If he treats the girlfriend the way you say, then who says he wouldn't do the same to you.

[Anonymous]

are you sure that's what he's doing? some guys are just natural flirts. they'll flirt with everyone and anyone and not really mean anything beyond that

[madmisskelly]

Because a man who does that is an asshole who needs to be reassured that he's still attractive/

[Greglingtons]

I'll tell you a big secret.

Men like and NEED change. More than anything.

Have you ever wondered why a guy can wear the same clothes every day but a girl always has to change and change her make up as well ?

Well, that's because we hate routine, repetitive stuff.

Every time our girl changes clothes or make-up it's like a new experience, a new person.

But there's other ways to seek change, it could be flirting with a friend (like you), or cheating, or going on vacation, etc. etc.

Bottom line is, your friend has to make an effort to keep her guy's need for change satisfied. Then maybe he'll be satisfies and stop groveling over you.

[rikooprate]

Let's not forget women do this too! Because they're total scum bags, and don't have the balls to admit maybe they're not happy with their current girl or not ready for a commitment. So they take the coward's very selfish way out and hurt feelings with no regard. It's totally lame, but it's typically justified somehow in their head so they can feel like they did nothing wrong. It's crap.

[HotPepper302]

I've already acknowledged that women do this too (see update). Just in this particular case, it's a guy, and I'm not sure whether it happens differently in guys' heads... But thanks for your input!

[Anonymous]

1st I agree that girls do the same. but to answer the question, he likes having a reliable partner who he knows will be there, but at the same time its getting kinda boring so he wants to branch out. from my first hand exp. I am almost positive about this

[Opinion Owner]

im not defensive...and that is WHY

[HotPepper302]

right, but he knows that I would never let anything happen between us... it would be different if I were leading him on or something.

[Opinion Owner]

well have you ever like a guy so much that even if nothing can happen between u, you still want it? somethings we want bad enough and even if we kno it won't work or can't be, we still want it

[HotPepper302]

I guess so, but the fact that he's actually making an effort to spend as much alone time with me as possible is a little over the top.

[Huskies34]

Is comfortable with his girlfriend and doesn't want that to end, but wants to know he can still get girls...I don't know how far he takes this "pursuing" but if its not more then flirting he just wants to know he can get you.

[only_human89]

I have no idea. I am usually too shy to pursue anyone. loL!

[HotPepper302]

Aw, don't be :)

[hotrodj]

first off ask yourself how long do you know him (longer then her or shorter)

[Anonymous]

Same reason girls who have boyfriends will talk to, go out with, and screw other guys.

[HotPepper302]

Which is?

[rafflesia]

He wants the bootyXD
i do have to say i give my guy friend props since he dumped that sophia bitch

[confused415]

I'm going through this as well!

[leeroyjenkins]

Because that specific guy is an asshole.

[Anonymous]

Girls do the same thing.

[HotPepper302]

Probably. That wasn't my point, though.

[Opinion Owner]

yeah but you were singling out guys