Why do guys slut-shame?

[Anonymous]

Yes guys do slut-shame for some reason, it isn’t just women. I understand why women slut-shame each other (it’s because women often get jealous of one another, and the amount of sex one gets is no exception) (keep in mind though that understand =/= agree), but I don’t understand why men do it.

Unless she cheated on you and gave you an STD in the process, why do you care? How does a random woman’s promiscuity affect you?

It just seems like a waste of energy slut-shaming people whose choices don’t negatively impact my life, that’s why I don’t care about other people’s sex lives.

[ShortCircuit]

Well, you're going to have to define "slut shaming" more clearly.

My stance has always been this:
I don't care how promiscuous or chaste anyone else is. That applies to both men and women. Since this is primarily about women, I will go ahead and clearly state that I think women should be free to do whatever they wish, as long as it doesn't deliberately physically harm anyone else. A girl's sex life is none of my concern... unless she seeks an exclusive, romantic relationship with me--in which case she is subject to my standards, to which I am entitled, whatever they may be.

The problem is that many women consider dating standards that exclude promiscuous women to be tantamount to "slut shaming". Are you among those women?

[Asker]

Nope. I just don’t understand why there are guys who read Facebook posts where a woman on their feed talks about their last one night stand, and say: “What a fucking slut”. I don’t understand why they care at all, if they aren’t even with her. I understand why you wouldn’t want to date a woman who was openly promiscuous, but most women keep their sexual conquests a secret. So I don’t know how anyone would even find out how many guys a woman has slept with unless she tells them, and even then, she could be greatly underestimating her body count to make it seem lower.

[ShortCircuit]

I agree that verbally berating someone else based on their sex life, when that person has no relationship to you anyway is morally reprehensible.

To address the second part of your question, I would explicitly ask my partner as soon as is appropriate. You're right that it would be impossible to tell the difference between a girl who slept with 10 guys and a girl who slept with 11 guys, but I exclusively date virgins (and I am one, myself), and it's relatively easy to tell the difference between a virgin and a non-virgin based on behavior alone. Plus, if I didn't trust her, I'd have no reason to continue dating her anyway.

[Anonymous]

A good dose of shame is what this society needs... maybe with a little more of it we wouldn't be facing antibiotic resistant STDS and stealth bugs that prevent women from having babies...

People are shameless and as time goes on, they become more well adjusted to a shameless society... and here is a perfect example of the mentality... someone trying to shame people that shame shameless people being called out on behavior that has got us absolutely nowhere.

[Asker]

I’m not shaming them. I simply believe that what they’re doing is a waste of energy, because slut-shaming random women you aren’t in a relationship with is pointless.

[Raveagite]

Then you asking questions of people who you aren't in a relationship with is also pointless (Exit right asker>)

[Asker]

@Raveagite Nope, I’m here to stay because there are people who legit write essays on promiscuity and their arbitrary rules of it. If you can’t have a civil and respectful conversation, the you’re free to leave you know.

[Raveagite]

No one using the phrase (slut shaming) is ready to have a real conversation on the subject of sex.

Notice you got all first but didn't even notice the logical problem I pointed out in your question... waste of time

[Asker]

@Raveagite What word would you use to describe it then?

[Raveagite]

I'll bother writing out my opinion if you can find the problem you thinking it's pointless to judge puddle hot aren't in a relationship with not to talk about doing with people you don't even know...

Oh whatever...

There was never a problem with judging a woman for being a so it before. It's simply becoming more of an issue since modern birth control is allowing woman to have more sex without it being as negative as it was.

However rather like any movement feminism for instance it often goes too far and slutty behavior which is still negative and shameful for offer reasons like stds and breeding issues into our millinials is now off limits for insults.

No one is off limits for bad behavior and that's what (slut shaming) is about making woman behavior off limits for critisms in regards to sex.

Imagine if men cheating was off limits and we couldn't be judged for it... garbage mainstream thinking...

[Asker]

@Raveagite Good point, although there are a few dumb women who tried to claim that it’s okay for men to cheat, because “they’re animals and don’t know any better”. I’m not a feminist, though. I just asked this question because I despise double standards and don’t see the point in them. Like, nobody would want to catch an STD from a “stud” either.

[Raveagite]

What everyone forgets is that while or has been "more" acceptable for men to have more partners sexually there has always been judgement a nd consequences.

Like not being taken seriously, avoided, not dating material, and only good for a fuck.

Basically, a male slut.

[IndieGirlJess]

Men slut shame because they are hypocrites. They do the same thing women do but if a man sleeps around it is a conquest. If a woman does it she is a slut or a whore.

[Asker]

It seems like such a waste of energy though. Besides, no one likes a diseased dick.

[dropkicknj13]

It's not hypocracy, it's that the "game" is set up with us playing different positions. If I'm on offense and get it in the net a lot, I'm good. If you're the goalie and get it in the net a lot, you're bad.

Oh and I'm not saying this is morally right or the way it should be lol

[DidiXDidi]

Locks and keys, or whatever the analogy of the day is. Who cares. I'll slut around all I want.

[Asker]

That locks and keys analogy is so stupid that it’s hilarious.

[Mikecheck123]

Honestly I don't do it myself, but if i were thinking in a toxic and darker mindset it depends.

If the guy sees the girl as attractive he honestly just thinks that he should have fucked her not the other guys. It's a possessive instinct that guys have learned in society and throughout evolution that they should fuck every hot girl they come across and the girl should be exclusively his and no one else. Every guy secretly dreams of living in a castle with every hot girl in the world is exclusively his and obeys his every sexual desire.

If he sees her as unattractive, he probably is just shaming her body, saying how many idiots were dumb enough to fuck this bitch.

And yes it is a waste of energy because in reality all a guy really needs is just one girl who he loves and shares a deep emotional connection with.

[dropkicknj13]

Well to be the devil's advocate:
if you're both a part of the same culture, anything they do openly/publicly affects you because it affects society in minuscule amounts. It's also pretty easy to argue how being a slut is a bad choice. Also shame is basically society's main tool to discourage behavior. So I would say it falls into the same category of how people feel the need to discourage drugs, or smoking, or etc. Even though it doesn't have an immediate effect on their own lives

[Asker]

True, but it seems pretty pointless. Like, why try to mother random people like that? Especially since shaming them would only make them continue out of rebellion.

[dropkicknj13]

I think the point is that people see not discouraging behavior, as encouraging it. So it's important to them to discourage it not just for the target but also for anyone else that it might effect.

[JayLiche]

Girls slut shame more than guys do
Why would a guy slut shame?
If anything he’s going to want some of that

The only time guys slut shame is when they’re rejected and can’t get any
Just about every girl slut Shames.. but you see a couple of guys slut shame & now it means all guys do it

[Asker]

Not all guys. The question was directed at the guys who felt like it was necessary to slut-shame for some unknown reason. Nice avatar, by the way.

[JayLiche]

Thanks and yeah the only time guys slut shame is when he’s not the one getting any
any guy who’s going to be getting some isn’t gnna shame the girl

[Asker]

Makes sense, or if ithe object of his shaming is his own girlfriend who cheated on him. Other than that, I don’t see he point especially if it’s a random irrelevant chick.

[scottalanmiller]

Similar for men. Women having more sex than a man makes a man feel inferior. So weak sad men who feel inferior often turn to trying to make that empowerment of the women into a negative.

[TisTheTruth]

I have mad respect for sluts. They are sexually liberated, independent and confident. That's like the perfect woman

[Myrdices]

Some guys not all of us personally I slut enthuse I love a sexy woman that knows what she likes

[Anonymous]

Because women stopped doing their job and stopped keeping the sluts in check.

[Asker]

What.

[Opinion Owner]

Standup women used to check sluts. Now they're all "U Go Girl". So its on us to make them feel miserable and bad about themselves and drive them to an early grave.

[Asker]

I don’t cheer promiscuous women on. I just mind my own business, which was why I was confused as to why guys care.

[IndieGirlJess]

wut

Wut?

[Opinion Owner]

Sluts are luring away the love/adoration/attention that rightfully belongs to you.

[Opinion Owner]

@IndieGirlJess Say something comprehensive or go away for the good of humanity.

[IndieGirlJess]

The truth is not always something people like to hear. Fact - guys do it they get a high 5 from their buds. Girl does it and it's , You slut!

[Opinion Owner]

@IndieGirlJess 1. Guys don't care when their friends fuck some girl. We don't fixate on each other's business like y'all do.
2. Even if we did congratulate each other, its different. Its an accomplishment for a man to convince a woman to sleep with him. We don't get sex offered to us just for walking down the street.

[IndieGirlJess]

That's because you make a big production out of it and spreading your sex life, and hers, all over town. What happened to what happens Vegas stays in Vegas?

[Opinion Owner]

@IndieGirlJess What are you even saying? Y'all are the ones stalking our social media, telling everyone our dick size, how we are in bed, etc.

[MrKinktastic]

Free love baby screw shame!

[shades777]

Your entitled to your opinion.

[Nachowedgie]

They don't, women do.

[Asker]

That’s not true.

[Nachowedgie]

It is

[Asker]

No, it isn’t. If only women did it, I wouldn’t have asked the question.

[Nachowedgie]

That's why I'm wondering why you're asking this question

[Asker]

Because guys slut-shame. I want to know why they care.

[Nachowedgie]

But they don't, women are the one's renound for doing that

[Asker]

But they do. I don’t get why some people insist that 100% of a gender don’t do a specific action. The assumption is always wrong automatically.

[Nachowedgie]

So why isn't your question, "why do people slut shame!" instead of making just men out to be the bad guys here

[Asker]

Because I already know why women slut-shame. I want to know why guys do it too.

[Nachowedgie]

Then wouldn't you logically think it'd be the same for men then?

[Nachowedgie]

Then again the question can be put to you, why do you care if people slut shame, it's not negatively affecting you

[Asker]

No, because why would a man get jealous of a woman for taking multiple dicks? Unless he’s gay, that doesn’t make any sense.

[Asker]

Actually it does, considering how these men have arbitrary rules for what makes a woman a slut. One guy on here claimed that a woman who has had more than one boyfriend in her lifetime is a slut.

[Nachowedgie]

Oh jeez you really are simple *Facepalms*

[Asker]

Nah, I’m complex.