Why do guys always assume I'm a slut?

[Anonymous]

I am not trying to sound stuck up, im just simply telling how it is. So, I think i am pretty attractive. People tell me i look beautiful all the time and i know I'm not too sore on the eyes. People always describe me as shy and sweet since i always apologize for everything (bad habit). My first boyfriend of 4 years always accused me of cheating whenever we argued. I never did. He would say things like: "yeah i know you slept with 30 men you whore". I only ever slept with him and lost my virginity to him.

Fast forward to a year after we broke up. I had not slept with anyone because i simply dont want to have sex if It doesn't mean anything. There is NOTHING wrong with sleeping with whoever you want its just not something i like to do. So, for the past few months I have been casually dating my coworker and we had sex multiple times. I told him it means a lot to me and he is the only person i have been with since i broke up with my ex.

I told him about some health issues of mine and i did that because i trusted him. Suddenly, he would make excuses why he can't hang out anymore. turns out he wanted me to take an std test. i told him he could have just said so and i would have gladly taken one. However, i also explained that the chances of having an std are minimal since i have been intimate with only few people. what hurts me now is that i feel like he doesn't trust me and that he thinks im dirty or something. He literally said: you never know since you didn't get tested. To clarify: im not upset that he asked me to get tested. im upset that he didn't and then pretended like im gross and made me feel bad.

This happens with many guys i meet. even other colleagues. they will make jokes about how i sleep with guys every weekend and it upsets me because its not true. Just because i look good and men are often interested, it doesn't mean i am as well. I dont want to be seen as just some sex object. why does this keep on happening?

[ohshee]

Most of time when you're beautiful and outgoing and you having fun in your life but you don't give certain guys the time of day of course they're going to call you a s l u t and everything else trying to make you look bad because they can't just accept that they are not your type. So they have to put it on you it's sad

[Asker]

Thats a really valid point. Thank you!

[what_the_hell]

They are just jealous you are hot and you can get any guy. So yo level the playing girls they call you a whore cuz they ugly

[Anonymous]

If he is so worried maybe you should ask him to get tested too.
I don't know where you work but in many workplaces this kind of behaviour where your colleagues are making any comments about your sexuality and calling you names like "slut" or "whore" is called sexual harassment or mobbing, and ends up in disciplinary action towards the person who does that.

[Asker]

Good point. He did actually get tested after his last relationship ended. Thats why i asked him if he wanted me to get tested. He said it wasn't necessary, and i agreed since i think the odds are very low. Now he suddenly acts like i never wanted to. And its true about the workplace. But i work in a male dominated work environment and unfortunately i dont really have anyone to go to

[Anonymous]

maybe you attract mentally/emotionally abusive insecure types, being a passive woman with kind heart. start answering these clowns back and see what happens. you my dear need to learn the art of comeback insults.

[Asker]

Hahah thats a good idea

[Lone_wolf122]

Well you seem like you're a pushover.. And always seeking validation from others... Those things combined make you sound easy plus you're attractive, so.. people assume that

[Asker]

Could be haha

[Lone_wolf122]

Lol you're so submissive.. You seem like a lovely person... Just don't let people be mean to you like that and treat you poorly... Stand up for yourself more

[Asker]

Yeah... i hear that a lot. Its hard because i never want to be mean or hurt people. But im just so upset at the moment. The guy im seeing wouldn't hang out with me because i told him i have a stomachache and he thinks it might be an std. When he was the only person I've been with. He made me feel dirty and gross when i dont even have an std (i got tested because he wanted me to). I've never felt so disgusting and bad about myself ever. He literally pretended like i was some contagious virus that he needed to stay as far away from as possible

[Lone_wolf122]

Wow... Why do you keep people like that around you? seriously what's going on

[Asker]

I dont know... i think you're right i need to reevaluate things

[Lone_wolf122]

Great 👍👍

[raddisn]

sorry this happens to you. Men look at you because you are attractive and think you have many boyfriends chasing you. that's all. But they dont know you well enough to know its not true

[Asker]

Thats exactly how i feel. Thanks for understanding. They assume many guys chase me and that i go along with it or that i like the attention. Its not true!

[what_the_hell]

Doesn’t mean she sleeps with any of them. She’s just hot

[Anonymous]

Because you are giving the impression you sleep around. Either by your behavior in being too flirtatious or the way you dress in being too revealing.

I am a good-looking woman. I had an opportunity to join a modeling company when I was a teen, something I didn't take as my mother knew an international supermodel / her sister and what goes with the career.

Men don't think I sleep around because I dress & act respectfully.

[Asker]

I dont dress inappropriately and im not flirtatious like you said. And i think how a woman dresses should be her own choice and men dont always have to assume clothing has anything to do with sluttiness

[Opinion Owner]

Well you just contradicted yourself. You said you don't dress inappropriately and then say it shouldn't matter so... which is it?

[Asker]

Both. Even if i did it should not matter. No girl should ever feel like she can't wear something just because lf what men might think. And i said i dont wear revealing clothes which is also true

[Opinion Owner]

Then you're obviously doing something to warrant the commentary. People don't call others sluts, etc. unless there's a foundation to why.

[what_the_hell]

Whoever wrote this shit is a bitch. Don’t be jealous of OPs see appeal

[Tstrbrainer]

Those who assume things are not worth your time. Ignore them completely.

The current guy might probably be trying to get rid of you or he might have cheated and is worried that he passed on some std to you

[Yellovv]

Because you are attractive for that he jealous you and he is calling you slut..

[what_the_hell]

100 💯 this. Tell ur boyfriend he’s ugly then dump him

[Yellovv]

@what_the_hell Also I think she is wearing attractive clothes maybe that's another reason..

[Anonymous]

I have to agree with pink anon (30-35). I suspect it is something in your behavior, how you dress and/or the vibe you give off.

[Asker]

I dont dress inappropriately at all and i dont act flirtatious. If anything im more reserved now that this all has happened

[Opinion Owner]

Well there's clearly something going on. Give it some thought and pay attention.

[TheFlak38]

The entire thread here screams "I'm a slut and I'm searching for excuses!"

[Anonymous]

if you act dumb or sluttly or however ur dress etc. maybe its the way u act or dress it could be. try to dress less procativly

[Asker]

I dont at all

[Coolkat12345]

ok, you indicate that you had sex with multiple men then you are a slut/whore if that is true.

[Asker]

Lol when did i indicate that

[Coolkat12345]

You wrote you had sex with an ex and then you also had sex with a different person afterwards, it did I misinterpret what you wrote?

[Coolkat12345]

I mean it did I misinterpret because you wrote that you had sex with at least 2 different men based on what you wrote and what those words mean.

[Asker]

2 men in total. and also i don't agree with that makes me a whore like you said.

[Coolkat12345]

It does because if you had sex with more than one man then it means you easily would be able to have sex with more and more and no man would want to commit to a whore. How can a woman raise children who isn’t loyal to one man and is willing to go off and have sex with anything that walks.

[Asker]

men like you with your closed mindset disgust me honestly. so little respect for women and people like you have no trouble shaming someone, but if it was you who slept with multiple women, that wouldn't be a problem right?

[Coolkat12345]

Hold on your saying I have little respect for woman? That is not true I respect woman who are modest and loyal to one man. I DONT respect woman who have sex with multiple men becaue I don’t respect prostitutes

[seanscoopers]

Actually that's really bad for girl to hear such words about her in sexual ways

[Asker]

It really is... thanks for understanding. I've been crying allt these days because this is not how i want people to think of me. It makes me sad that men jist want to have sex with me and not actually get to know me.

[seanscoopers]

It's only

[BarryLiverstone]

Because you are attractive

[Asker]

So what can i do to stop this behaviour from men?

[BarryLiverstone]

You can’t control how men behave. All you can control is yourself.

[In_Trance]

must be something you're saying or doing. This doesn't happen to all girls

[boggboss]

Welcome to modern day hun both genders do it

[lycanthrope3]

Shallow men think shallow thoughts

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

cause you are?

[what_the_hell]

You are ugly