Essentially, I got away with a coworker because of a bizarre question he asked me about my skin and tanning. To make it worse, he prefaced the question with, "Don't report me to HR” and started laughing and said, “this is a stupid question, it's a really stupid question”. That's when he asked me the dreaded question knowing fully well I'm already dark skinned. Why would I intentionally tan to get darker than I am now. Then he proceeded to tell me how he grew up with black family that use to clean for him or some crap. Truly, this did not feel right.
Anyway, I spoke to my boss about this because he’s known this man for years. My boss spoke with him and told him yes that was inappropriate and he admitted to my boss that what he said was wrong and will "apologize" asap. EXCEPT after the meeting my coworker started smugly throwing words for me in "slang". He has NEVER done that before. My boss asked me if he apologized and I said, "No". My boss was shocked and then went into denial. Eventually, it led into a bad confrontation. Ever since that day, I distance myself from EVERYONE on the team. A fellow coworker I get along with very well noticed something was wrong and could tell the guy said something to me that wasn’t right. He has also known him for YEARS. Anyway, the guy is now being EXTRA nice to me. He's leaving personal well wishes for me in group emails and was NEVER doing that before. Example, "Good Morning Lisa, Hope you are doing well". "Good Morning Lisa, Hope you enjoyed your weekend". If I call out sick, he’ll tell me to feel better and encourage me to get as much rest as possible.
Also, he’s 4yrs older and prior to all this happening he came into my office one day and tried flirting with me and asking me if I'm happy working here. Dude would see me sometimes and not even say hi to me. I am respectful to EVERYONE on the team and I hate confrontation. In general, I'm quiet and try to get to know everyone, but I don't want to be around this dude at all.
Anyway, I spoke to my boss about this because he’s known this man for years. My boss spoke with him and told him yes that was inappropriate and he admitted to my boss that what he said was wrong and will "apologize" asap. EXCEPT after the meeting my coworker started smugly throwing words for me in "slang". He has NEVER done that before. My boss asked me if he apologized and I said, "No". My boss was shocked and then went into denial. Eventually, it led into a bad confrontation. Ever since that day, I distance myself from EVERYONE on the team. A fellow coworker I get along with very well noticed something was wrong and could tell the guy said something to me that wasn’t right. He has also known him for YEARS. Anyway, the guy is now being EXTRA nice to me. He's leaving personal well wishes for me in group emails and was NEVER doing that before. Example, "Good Morning Lisa, Hope you are doing well". "Good Morning Lisa, Hope you enjoyed your weekend". If I call out sick, he’ll tell me to feel better and encourage me to get as much rest as possible.
Also, he’s 4yrs older and prior to all this happening he came into my office one day and tried flirting with me and asking me if I'm happy working here. Dude would see me sometimes and not even say hi to me. I am respectful to EVERYONE on the team and I hate confrontation. In general, I'm quiet and try to get to know everyone, but I don't want to be around this dude at all.
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