Why are guys/men so afraid of weakness and being a failure?

[hornyyounggir]

I already knew this is something most guys feel. But i just started watching a new show on netflix called 'too hot to handle'. It actually is pretty good, but in one scene all the guys opened up a bit. They told their biggest fears. Literally all of them said: weakness, failure, not being enough. Some even cried and got mad at themself for it, for beig weak.

My theory is that it's something natural. Men naturally are more dominant (not for all men though) and feel the need to protect and stay strong. They feel the need to not show any weakness. When in my eyes, if you are brave enough to show that you care, you are way stronger.

Still curious on how guys think about this. Why is it a big deal FOR YOU? What scares you so much?

[coffeewithcream]

That likely goes back to Ug the Caveman having to bring home that big scary animal for the Mrs. to roast over a fire.
If Ug didn't kill the big scary animal to eat, the whole family starved and died.

Meanwhile women have their own issues. Women are attracted to manly men, the type who can kill and bring home a dinosaur even though they are extinct. Also, women when pregnant start to nest- clean house, and nag a male about making sure the house is neat. That likely goes back to Mrs. Ug who made sure there were enough wild animal furry skins to have a baby on. And guess who had to kill the animals to get those furry hides.


It's biology.

[hornyyounggir]

yea it definitely is biology

[ButtaGrey]

Strictly not true... You have been fed a untrue which has been perpetuated for generations.
Funny, I first heard that little boys aren't supposed to cry, not from men but women.

Till this day, I still see mothers that ostracize
their toddler male sons and tell them harshly,
stop being a punk or acting like a little bitch.

Yet, if their daughter of the same age falls
down and hurts herself, they show the opposite by being affectionate and assuring
her that it is okay to cry. A lot of women keep this false narrative going with this male bs.

[Mystic_Nova]

Men and many cultures, pressure them to strive to be top dog. This means to never take the losing end of anything and the whole not sharing your feelings thing, is due to a long past of men being called to war at any moment. Soliders where meant to have a strong presence and to not have emotions they could lose the battle and get themselves killed. This passed on for generations, and even today.

[Breanna_nonbinary]

Boys are have an inherent instinct to be an alpha male.

[Anonymous]

My guess is women don't want to feel this way either. I think it's a human thing, not just guys.

But, they may have meant it in a different way also? I'm not sure as I don't share this "fear" (other than in general as most people don't like it). But as a guy, I can almost guarantee they were thinking of something specific when they were thinking this, which could be so many different things and/or ways.

[hornyyounggir]

Yes woman don't want to feel like this either, but it feels like men are actually afraid of it? Like in a different type of way

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, we're kind of "programmed" that way by society and even by other people. Guys are supposed to be the strong ones and not show weakness, even though we are human beings with them. It's not "manly".

[hornyyounggir]

Yea. It's so weird. You guys should show emotions, it's a human thing

[winterfox10]

It's because our worth in the eyes of society and (let's be honest) women boils down to what we can produce. Men basically have two roles in the world; we work in service to our families and we die in service to our families. When women started producing for themselves, men realized that they needed to think bigger, better, faster to impress women.

[OlderThanILook]

Because what am I even alive for if I just fail at everything? I know how people look at men that don't have talents and don't succeed at anything. Rejection is a terrible feeling. I never want to feel like that again.

[andreasderjuengere]

To fail or to be weak - cannot be a goal in life.
Where: 'weakness' must not be misinterpreted with 'showing emotions'.

[hornyyounggir]

Yes true

[alwaysintosomething]

I went to a college where 90 percent of the students were female and I know how much girls fear failure and embarrassment so don't tell me it's exclusive to men.

[hornyyounggir]

No i never said that! When i talk about failure for men, i don't say woman don't have it. I am just talking about the men

[asshole_]

Noone wants to be a failure

Why would you WANT to be a failure

Girl or guy

[hornyyounggir]

True, but why is it so important?

[asshole_]

Well, why would you want to be a failure

I mean, if you're a failure, what's the point of living, right?

[TonyT1986]

If I don’t succeed no one else will support me, so it’s on my shoulders completely.

[esotericstory]

Because how can we be respected by anyone, even ourselves if we are failures?

[Anonymous]

Society (women) bases a mans worth on his success.

[hornyyounggir]

True sadly. But a lot of men also feel like that. It's not only the fault of a woman.

[Opinion Owner]

Men feel that way because we are raised in a gynocentric world where we are told from birth that our only worth is in how much we can provide for a female.

[hornyyounggir]

That's sad. I'm so glad my parents never told my brother that

[Opinion Owner]

Ask your brother if he feels he should provide for and protect women... don’t give him any other substance and see what his answer is.
The media pushes this same agenda, so your parents didn’t have to tell him.

Men do the deadly jobs and die in war so women can have better lives.

[hornyyounggir]

Yes he feels like he should protect me at least and he would stand up for womans. But, he would do the same for other men.

[White_pearl]

Man's pride, it's really hurt.

[GreenGold1992]

Vulnerability can make a man feel like he failed

[Fuentes]

Nobody wants to fail