Heya. Can I ask something?

[Kitty0811]

So I've been gone for a while now... And um... I'm back and single. I was in an abusive relationship. He drank and best the shit out of me. But then also told me he loves me. And that has stopped me from even looking at guys now. I know not everyone is bad.. but I'm scared... If that makes sense. I'm bad at reading facades and I could really use some help with how to determine if the person is good or not. I'm dumb that way... I also now tend not to look at guys who drink, which is again, bad. But it's like a conditioning.. I don't know.. I don't know what to do..

[NamerOfStars]

Well, "wanting someone who doesn't beat you" is pretty much the absolute minimum in a relationship, as far as I'm concerned. You are completely justified in wanting that. And fear is reasonable. Perhaps you might be better focusing on just making friendships with guys for a while- remember that most of us aren't awful. That might help restoring trust.

[jestergent]

You want the charm that comes with drink. You want to identify a good man. But not really. You want the charisma.

Just do this. Time. Make them work for it. Not too long nor short. Look at their life. Do they hold job. Drink but not all the time. You find that out with time.

[that1guy_123]

You should probably take a break from dating and just make friends for a while. The social skills of determining who is and isn't a good friend is translatable towards determining who'd make a good partner for you.

[_SOARER]

You need to ask your friends and family to help. It's good you are honest with yourself and understand you can't see the signs.

I would reccomend taking a bit more time to find someone else and asking your parents or closest/trustworthy friends to help you determine if a man is good or not. They might even know someone ❤

Sorry that happened to you ❤

[SeanshterMonster]

That's completely normal. I'm sorry you had to experience a guy like that. Not everyone is like that. Take some time to yourself, heal and get better before finding someone. Be selective about it. In the mean time, find a hobby. there's always guys out there. I'd say it much easier for a girl to find a boyfriend vs and guy to find a girlfriend.

[handymanny506]

I don't think you can tell if they are bad or not. Only the obvious ones... just ease in and if you see the smallest sign, get the hell out of there

[boggboss]

Learn to draw a line with behaviour you are not willing to put up with

[Anno2]

We tend to act the way we look.

Best advice I can give you, also based on person experience.

[Kitty0811]

Thank you

[Celtero]

So, is he in jail now or?

[Kitty0811]

He is for physical and sexual assault and drugs