Guys, why do you hate being asked how you feel?

[iTsMeeeeeeee]

Anytime I ask a guy how they feel, even guys that seem to be a bit more sensitive, they seem to want to distance themselves from the question and just say something like “yeah, good”. Why is this? (And this coming question might be counter productive but..) how do you feel when you’re asked this question?

Updates

+1 y

If it’s because of social conditioning and it being “unmanly” to talk about feelings, would it not sort of be a breathe of fresh air someone actually seeming to want you to express it like you can “finally let it out”? I guess I’m still a bit confused :)

[Xcommunicated]

No, it wouldn’t be a breath of fresh air. The assumption behind your question is that we are driven by emotions and feelings. We aren’t. We often don’t know how we feel. When we’re angry, sometimes we don’t even know why we are. Sometimes it reminds us of the past, or we are becoming what we hate, or it’s just plain wrong what happened. This can be probably the most troubling part of it. Even if we do know, we struggle to put it into words. Often those words make us feel worse about ourselves or will cause pity or lack of confidence. And frankly, I just don’t express things to others they either won’t understand or can’t help with. All It will do is waste 2 hours of our time, resolve nothing, and make others (who we are conditioned to care for) feel worse about themselves (and us).
you’ll get much farther if you ask what do you think about x? Did you make any progress on y? What do you want do? How will you get there?
don’t psycho analyze us.
Just let us know we can talk about life without being emasculated.

[Celtero]

It's annoying because people pretend to care even though they don't. And even if you did care what are you going to do if I say I feel bad? You're not going to fix shit for me, and the only thing accomplished by telling you how I feel is stressing you out with my problems.

[iTsMeeeeeeee]

I guess sometimes it can help to talk about things... does talking about things not help guys in the same way it helps girls?

[perfectchaos]

It does not. We want something to fix. Talking about how we feel doesn't fix it.

[gerardroger]

See, ask twice if you really want to know. The answer could be intimate and one could be confused if you are asking it as a formality/in passing.
Try this - ask once, if you get a standard/fleeting/knee jerk reply
Make eye contact and depending on the type of relationship, hold that persons hand or their shoulder, come closer and in a concerned/genuine tone, ask again! You will get that person to open up - gender is not important here it works for anyone

[Kurαȷ]

They don't hate the question, what they hate is the fact that you ignore their answer and proceed to make silly assumptions about their psychology and paint them as some kind of a victim of "patriarchy" or some other feminist delusion.

When a guy says "yeah, good" what he means, in approximately 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of cases, is that he, actually, just feels good.

[WesBrewer]

well, personally I don't like showing negative emotions, which is pretty easy since I'm practically always happy and chipper, I don't know why but I always feel "good", but when I'm not and someone is asking I'm annoyed at myself for not being what I want to be, and sometimes I may feel if I open up the person will use it against me, or if its a date that they would lose interest in me because I'm not as strong as I always appear to be.

[GingerGuy]

Like women are taught certain things by society, we guys are "taught" not to show/share emotions. "It's not manly". So it makes a lot of guys uncomfortable. Other possibilities are he doesn't really know himself, so he doesn't know what to tell you. Also we are direct in general, so that's why you get those direct answers like "ok", "good" etc. So if you're looking for more details, you'll probably have to ask him more questions lol

[Kaneki05]

I don't hate been asked. Just wouldn't see the point in complaining about the way i feel when it's the same everyday?

[Kaneki05]

Guys who don't express there feelings because of unmanly i will always find dumb tbh.

[iTsMeeeeeeee]

Thanks for your reply. I find it interesting that you’re age is quite a bit younger than the others answering on here and by your answer you seem to be a little more comfortable with the idea... maybe this social conditioning gets worse as you age in the world...

Here’s my next question to you, say you were quite obviously upset one day (more than usual) and the next day someone asks how you feel today, would you be uncomfortable and want to fob off the question and push it away or could you answer it without being disgusted at the thought of talking about your feelings?

[Kaneki05]

Depends on the cause of why. Most of the time i would just say what was. upsetting me that day.
I normally bring things up if something is bothering me more than normal or if something is wrong.
I just don't buy into social status, i stay true to myself and act because i want to no matter how it looks to other's.

[iTsMeeeeeeee]

That’s really good... I’m proud of you for that. Though I obviously don’t know you...

[Anonymous]

We dont know how to answer that. We dont have any idea what to answer to this. Could be either we dont wanna show how we feel, or we can't. "We can't": could be because we ourselves dont know what we feel. Or we couldnt compromise the relationship we have.

[Iron_Man]

Because sometimes we’re not feeling well And if we tell you what’s bothering us it will most likely turn into a two hour conversation and sometimes we just wanna be left alone because we know that you can’t help us

[SageWisdomMan]

Best answer!

[Iron_Man]

Thank you

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Think of to say it feels like a something sharp is coming out of my brain and heart. And brings agitation.

[iTsMeeeeeeee]

Why is that?

[Dinosaursandanime65]

I’m nice n round... so nice n sassy

[DontEvenUnderstand]

Agreed

[Dinosaursandanime65]

@DontEvenUnderstand Which part? Actually, forget that last part it was a Moto Moto reference

[DontEvenUnderstand]

The moto moto part

[Dinosaursandanime65]

@DontEvenUnderstand NO. Forget it. I no longer earn the title of Thicc Prince.

[grega239]

It's an annoying and empty question.
At least for me , because I don't actually believe that the person asking cares.
So yeah, annoying and empty

[R3DthatDude]

It’s such a vague question. How do I feel? ... look at my face, I feel normal

[Camel22]

I don’t. I think it’s a nice gesture. My girlfriend asks me how I am all the time.

[magiusX26]

its because we know the real meaning of the question is "what are you thinking about?" (every miniscule detail required in the answer)

[CYNICAL_CRYPTIC]

Who lied to you? 🤣😂🤣😂 Seriously?

[iTsMeeeeeeee]

I’m confused? What are you trying to say? 😅

[CYNICAL_CRYPTIC]

The untrue and false statement that guys hate being asked how we feel. How can you make such a outrageous assumption based off the few guys you've probably asked. Would it be fair to ask if other girls actions speak for how you think or feel as a individual?

[CYNICAL_CRYPTIC]

Do you though lmao
The ignorance is indeed real 🥴

[iTsMeeeeeeee]

I’m sorry if this question has upset you... of course I can only go off my own experience.. everyone is an individual and nothing can speak for everyone because everyone is different. I guess what I was saying was just a generalisation and I was hoping people who relate would give me some insight :)

[CYNICAL_CRYPTIC]

It didn't, it's just sad that we as people judge entire genders and race of people based upon the actions of a few. No offense taken 🤣

[mich15smith]

ehhh, it can kinda suck to get into some times

[napoleonebonaparte]

please follow me or I can't answer your message :)

[iTsMeeeeeeee]

Hello, you need to accept my follow request as your account is private

[delicioustigers]

I don’t hate it. Ask me how I feel lol

[iTsMeeeeeeee]

Alright, how u feelin