Recently one of my colleagues committed suicide and noticed that my other colleagues felt quite bad even though they didn't know him as long and well as I did. Despite that it didn't really affect me that much or even at all I just did what I always did. I put on my sad face and acted as everyone else. So I thought back and realized that I'm different than others. I've read about antisocial disorders and I found out that even in my childhood I did things that are connected with it. Things like constant fight with my classmates, harming and killing small animals, stealing, lies and such. I often manipulate people around me to think that I'm a good and hard working person and I don't feel bad about it at all. It just makes me proud of myself. I decided to complete some test that has been created by competent people and I've passed!
the childhood behaviors is a tell for me because i had similar behaviors, it is possible to change but i went through a lot of treatment as well as i had a lot of changes in my outside life that affected me enough to change me. The good thing is that you noticed the problem which is the first step to a solution. I know it's hard to change with the ASPD or whatever you'd like to call it, i don't really understand how i could have changed so much because it was a part of me, so if you don't want to change, you don't have to. I recommend not commiting major crimes, so you can at least try to live a normal life even if you don't feel normal. Seek help if you choose to but you shouldn't think of yourself as fucked up if you avoid getting help right away.
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Asker
+1 y
That's nice and don't worry I don't think of myself as fucked up I think of it more as advantage.
You're the only one who can really tell. If you're concerned about it, it's a good idea to meet with a psychologist or psychiatrist and get a professional opinion. Self-reporting can sometimes be unreliable - both on your end and the the "population average" end.
If you're really worried, professional help is the way to go. But that's a choice only you can make.
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Asker
+1 y
I'm not really concerned and I don't want to be listed as such. I'm just interested in people's reactions.
Gotcha. Yeah, I mean, I'd figure it's normal for everyone to have a bit of a psychopath in them. We live in a world where that sort of behaviour isn't just idolized - it's rewarded. So most people have a bit of psychopath in 'em. Myself included.
My reaction's kinda just... meh. So long as you're happy, that's really all that matters.
Why it "should", really depends on whether you want your existence to be mentally and practically isolated from the rest of the living world or not.
How does the idea of you being hurt make you feel? Being tortured. Whether that's physically or emotionally or whatever way. Does that scare you? Is it something you want to avoid?
Yeah yeah. I understand the definition of empathy that I should feel the pain of the others because I don't want the same thing to happen to me. That just doesn't work for me. I know the definition of it but I don't know how it feels in practice.
Would you also not feel bad for, let's say a little child being brutally tortured and abused by someone, you see the child crying in absolute agony and horror? Like, would you see that happening and just think "that is bad because I know it is supposed to be bad, but I actually don't care"?
Of course I would mind being tortured, I'm quite numb to pain and fear wouldn't help me in this situation. Best thing would be to endure the pain and think about my situation and what to do.
Well I don't quite believe you don't experience fear at all, but I'll leave that at that. I have another question though: Do you understand and agree that society needs to protect itself from people like you? I mean yeah, you probably do understand since the reasons are pretty obvious. But do you view this as a sort of "me vs. them" thing? Like, you do whatever you can do get whatever you want, with no regards for any casualties, and society will do whatever it can to protect itself from you?
So, basically you'd even support society getting rid of all the psychopaths like yourself, except for yourself? Right? So that you're, ideally, the only psychopath left so that you have a kind of monopoly on manipulating and exploiting people. Basically like capitalism. Do I understand correctly?
So a family would basically be a device for you to not be caught? Would you play an act in front of your family so they don't know you're a psychopath?
"It's not like I go around hurting people for no reason." Of course, I'm sure you always have a reason. But how is that relevant? People usually have reasons for hurting others. Doesn't make you any less dangerous.
I generally tend to avoid illegal stuff just to be safe. Hurting people in any way is tricky because you have to convince people around them that you are the good guy which is hard.
What if one day, let's say one of your kids somehow becomes a liability to you? Let's your kid could become the reason why you get caught for something really bad. Would you hurt your kid, if it was necesssary to save yourself?
Now you're evading my question though. This is a hypothetical. Your 6 year old son would become the reason why you get caught for something really bad. There's only two options in this hypothetical - 1) You allow yourself to get caught, 2) you hurt/kill your six year old son in order not to get caught.
If you're gonna find reasons the evade this hypothetical scenario, it means there's something off about your claims. So, please try to answer this hypothetical question as it is.
I take it back, you're not being honest with me. You're still evading the hypothetical. So, either you're bullshitting us here this entire time, you're not really a psychopath but just a bored troll. Or you are one but decided to not admit that you would do those things if necessary.
Well, this was an interesting conversation up until now. The moment you don't answer truthfully anymore is the moment you lose me. Too bad.
I had almost no empathy when I was a kid. I mostly liked to cause pain to others for entertainment. When I began college I got more empathic but mostly don't feel that. I've always felt bad if an animal gets hurt though. I don't think I'm sociopathic for that reason.
According to this test, you are. However, there are 2 other aspects to take into consideration : 1. Only a licensed professional can give an accurate diagnostic 2. Psychopathic or sociopathic people would probably not be concerned of whether or not they suffered from ASPD.
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Asker
+1 y
I'm not really concerned. I'm trying to amuse myself by yours reactions.
Either way, psych tests aren’t self prescribed for the very reason of confirmation bias. The same as medical students getting phantom illnesses they’re studying. Confirmation bias.
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