Why do guys tell you they love you but their actions don't match up?

[Anonymous]

[amadimal]

It's important to keep in mind that we are what we do, not what we say we'll do. This means actions matter more than words. This guy might say he loves you only to get something from you (not necessarily sex, it can be attention as well) or to get away with something. There's also a tiny possibility that he truly loves you, but has some issues and he's not ready for whatever kind of relationship you'd like.

[Siren777]

Love will always match up to actions
Lust never will, cause he only wants sex from you and he will lie to get what he wants.

[spartan55]

What are you doing to hold up your end of a relationship, besides just showing up?

[Asker]

We don't talk anymore. I pushed him away because I was scared. He stopped caring I guess or he never cared at all. I have reached out but he just reads my messages. I can't talk to him in person because he always finds a way to be busy and not be around me.

[spartan55]

So you pushed him away, but are complaining about his actions not matching his words? Wtf is that?

[Asker]

He knows me better than anyone else ever could. He knows that when I'm afraid I push people away, I pushed him away because I needed him.

[spartan55]

You pushed him away because you needed him? Have you thought about getting some counseling because you aren't making a whole lot of sense.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

some of my girlfriends force me in a way to say that and i never mean it

[Asker]

Well thats not how it was with us. I never put pressure on words because his words ment nothing if his actions didn't say it aswell. He will always be the one I love most but not all good things work out. Maybe in the future we will meet again.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

Personal i need both actions and words to be shure, is pointles to make good action for me if you just do them as a friend and not because she love me

[Asker]

Yeah I get what you mean.

[FictionalCharacter]

I know...

[Coulis]

So they can continue to have sex with you with minimal bitching and moaning about the things you are selling yourself short for.

[FilmGuy93]

Is there any actions in particular that you are concerned about?

[Anonymous]

Either they are lying and don’t care about you or they genuinely don’t know how to love with their actions and they need to learn how

[BarryLiverstone]

Because they want sex and know if you feel
an emotional bond you will give them sex

[Anonymous]

A guy's words and actions aren't coordinated but his dick and actions are coordinated

[Anonymous]

Because he loves you so much you can't even understand it.

[Asker]

If that were true he wouldn't of left when I needed him most. Now I watch him look at someone the way he looked at me.

[Opinion Owner]

He left because if you truly love someone you set them free.
He's only looking at her because she reminds him of you.

[Asker]

He was the one person I am truly myself with. It's been 3 months since he left and everyday I hope that he would care enough to call. But he looks happier without me.

[Opinion Owner]

He wants to call, but he's just too nervous.
His love for you is so intense that he will have to have lots of sex with others to help control his cravings for you.
He's not happier, his smile is due to pain and his laughter is because he's going crazy without your love.
Those aren't tears of joy you see as he skips down the street singing and holding her hand.
He's miserable.

[Asker]

I wish that's how it worked but if he wanted to be here he would. Seeing the way he looks at her is hurting me and it doesn't help that I see him everyday so I can never truly move on. I spent 2 years of my life with him so that he could just leave in the end.

[Opinion Owner]

Well buckaroo that's life.
I was married to a woman for many years and then it's like somebody just flipped a switch on her and she didn't love me anymore.
She found somebody new and I didn't exist to her anymore.
She turned evil.
The good news is that there's billions of other people.

[Asker]

Well sometimes you only want one person unfortunately.

[Opinion Owner]

You're addicted to that asshole for now.
A new love can sometimes help. you move on.

[Luckycharms12]

Probably say it cos think what you want to hear. But don't actually

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

How do you "show" love?

I never understood that. Then again, what is love, anyway

[sheikalana]

How exactly do you expect him to act?

[Asker]

Not hot one minute then cold. I love him more than anyone in this world but it's exhausting trying to keep up.

[sheikalana]

I don't think many men would say I love you without being sure they truly love their partner. Speak to him about it.

[Asker]

I will be the one who gets hurt either way. I don't want to make things worse between us. He already hates me.

[sheikalana]

Then why are you still with him?

[Asker]

We not, everything changed a few months ago. We were never officially together we were "friends" for 2 years but then he started canceling our plans and things went downhill from there.

[silentdead]

you can be a simple person.

[Newhead]

Because he's lying.

[Anonymous]

how so? in what way?

[Asker]

Say one thing but actions say another. One minute he cares then the next it's like we strangers again.

[Opinion Owner]

He's trying to emotionally distance himself from you so he doesn't get hurt by you. That's what I do sometimes so I don't get hurt by the woman I love

[Asker]

That makes sense. But he knows that what he feels is not one sided and I would never hurt him intentionally. I would do anything for him. If anything I wish him nothing but happiness and I would take all the pain.

[Opinion Owner]

Then you need to tell him that instead of me.

[Opinion Owner]

I pull back in fear of her cheating chasing after other guys

[Opinion Owner]

Sometimes it does feel like it's one sided with her and I lose all hope

[Asker]

I can't tell him because we don't talk anymore. One minute he was with me the next he wasn't. I wish I could tell him but he doesn't care anymore.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sorry you're going through that and I know sorry isn't going to make things better and no amount of words will.

[Asker]

It's fine. It's my fault that things didn't work out so I deserve everything being thrown at me.