Girls who hide there feeling/emotions?

[Anonymous]

Girls: are you someone who hides there feelings and emotions from your boyfriend? I have a girlfriend of 1.5 months but we have been seeing each other since feb. when we are together its nice, but its a effort for her to say or show emotion, she will hold my hand and we have sex etc but she has never said I miss you unless I have said it first. I've talked about this with her and because of a traumatic event earlier in her life she shelters her emtotions( so she says) but the more I've been with her the more she's been showing me a little more affection/emotion( not much! but a lot better than when we first got togheter.

so I was wondering girls with the difficulties showing emotion as I know some girls do!, I've dated 2 of them lol...the more time we are going out/spending together is it likely she will open up ? or do I just have to accept that's just the way she is and deal with it? (as its quite hard because I'm so affectionate and like to be told that she loves me etc )

or are actions good enought?

Thanks :)

[toulouse]

I avoid thinking of how I feel period. So id say I hide my feelings from myself, rather than a guy. I do not offer how I feel, but I do not lie. So if asked I would answer honestly- but if I lie to myself first, I could be honest without telling the truth.. so I suppose its rather difficult getting to know how I feel. but no malice intended. I just do not feel right thinking/ acting in terms of how I feel. talking about how I feel. etc.

If I'm with a guy, he is the one id want to be able to be honest with, tho probably the one id find it most difficult to be honest with.. because I feel so much around him, it feels like too much, before I have even said anything. So id instinctively pull back to feel more in control. but id imagine over time.. months.. I would be able to trust myself with him, & open up.. eventually, if he seemed comfortable with emotions in genera, & his & mine in particular, & made it known to me, he wanted to know how I felt. not out of desperation, but out of consideration.

tis is not from being HURT so I do not so much need him to prove he is trust worthy in general, I e won't cheat or dump me. I ned to know he is mature & can handle emotions. its not about worrying ill be rejected. its just difficult to feel dignified if I am feeling how I feel. so if he is mature about it it helps alot. for me to get comfortable.

[EnteiIsKing]

Just be there for her and show her that you care. I hold my feelings in a lot of times because I have had major problems with my self-esteem and had no one to talk to that seemed like they cared or they just told me to get over it and deal cause there are people out there going through worse things. I've been dating my boyfriend for 10 months now,soon to be 11, and I still have trouble talking to him about things, but I have gotten better than I once was when we first started dating. He always tells me that he cares and will be there for me and will be my shoulder to cry on. Just talk to her and make sure she knows you will listen and care and will her shoulder to cry on. Also, don't push her to talk, unless you feel that she really needs to. Let her decide when to talk to you.

[delicatedreams]

I think she may open up in time. After all, you've already noticed some improvement in that area. I'm the sort of girl that hides my feelings or emotions. I like to be sure of a guy and his feelings for me before I feel comfortable expressing my emotions. Good luck!

[adam__808]

I believe when girls behave that way, they're scared of love. They're afraid that they've come upon something too good to be true. Girls like that have fallen for love too good to be true, and that's something hard to get over... especially if you're the person who committed the initial hurt. That's a difficult thing to make up for.

[Grace94]

Okay, I'll just tell you from my point of view, since I'm a girl who hides feelings.

It doesn't matter how much I like a guy. I will ALWAYS be more withdrawn and distant than most girls. It doesn't mean I don't care about the guy. Due to some trauma in my past (it is a legit excuse) I have a very hard time becoming emotionally open with people.

If she's anything like me, she'll have good days and bad days. Or good moments and bad moments. And she might really open up for a bit, then really shut down right after that. That's normal. It's scary to be vulnerable, so she might compensate for her moment of "weakness" by retreating into herself a bit. Just let it happen. She may open up to you more and more. But she might just be pretty shut off.

Good luck.

[DishLady]

Some girls are afraid -- some are actually trained to be that way -- to say or do things that will upset their man. Some were physically abused as girls -- beaten for sharing their thoughts and feelings.

These people are understandably reserved and fearful of showing their feelings. If your girl is REALLY quiet, it will take some time to get her to come around. It's not you. Just be patient and she'll ultimately trust you enough to open up to some extent.

Yet other girls are simply shy. (The healthier of the three types, which is easier for the girl to overcome as she gets to know you.)

[JACQUY-G]

She will open up- just remember that sometimes through the view of a closed off girl its easier to be closed- it feels that when you give your all and become emotional it might be soon or something might feel to be too good-

sometimes taking things slow seems easier-

at times being closed is a way to protect oneseld from a world of hurt that could result if the relationship we want doesn't really work out

but with time her mind and heart will open up more to what you'd like- just be remember that all good things take their time- if its worth it, you keep working on it

[maria1]

for me its hard to show emotions but over time as I know and am with some one more and more it gets easer to break my wall down but it does take a long time and a lot of sincear trut. just be patient shell open up when she's feels its OK to itll take time but if you love her you'll wait for her!

[Cailleach]

I always lock my emotions up, both from other people and myself. The more time I spend with a person, the more I am likely to open up a little bit. If I like the person, I'll open up even more. But never fully. Never ever fully. Obviously the more time you spend with your girlfriend the more she opens up. How much she does has yet to be seen, though. Just be patient and stick it out.

[siobhan222]

Hi, I know exactly how your girlfriend is feeling. I suffered and still do from horrible things from my past and I really struggle to show emotion and feel somewhat weak when I do. There are very few people in this world who have seen me this way, but I have been talking to a friend for a while about what happened to me and how I feel and I have begun to show at least her how much it has hurt me. I have known this friend for almost two years and I have only just started showing emotions this past year. I am 21 now and I am beginning to feel better I am even thinking of going to a Counsellor. My suggestion to you therefore is keep meeting up with her and try and slowly (not forcefully) talk to her about what has happened and be gentle with your affections and she will slowly return them.

A great song that demonstrates how she is probably feeling and may help you to understand is Bitch by Meredith Brooks. Have a listen and keep it in mind.

Hope this helps

X

[Anonymous]

I don't think you'll make a big difference with her behavour. Whatever she's gone through she seems to have that sort of personality who is not a cuddly loving person.

She might even be less into you as you are to her. So she's not head over heels dying to shout at the world that she loves you.

It's easiest to accept people as they are. In time you might get bored and tired of trying to fix her.

[Anonymous]

I keep my emotions under lockdown... Been hurt pretty badly. Once I got back on my feet I swore I will never ever show my volnurable side to any man again.. Hence the anon. Reply :)

She does like you probably a lot. You can tell how much if you are observant enough. Be honest, open, and patient.

[juicyjulie]

You just need to be honest to her about it. it sounds like she likes you but is just too scared to get hurt .. teach her and just learn about echother .. maybe she is just ot a love dovie person you know

[brunettebelle]

I hate when people see me cry but sometimes I can't hold it in so I say I am leaving the room for the bathroom. I guess I don't want people to think of me weird and over emotional if they see me cry and I don't think a guy would understand.

[chin_ita93]

I think if she thinks you're worth it she will open up to you much more...I was that way and eventually started opening up and then began to shut down once I thought the guy wasn't worth it anymore..

[Anonymous]

she will some day be patient and if she doesn't I think you may not be the one because it took me 1yr 8m to realize I couldn't open up to my ex