If a guy talking to you talks to a lot of women but is NOT a player does this still turn you off?

[Still-alive]

You still avoid guys like this?

So he isn't a player but still talks to and is friend with a ton of women.

Turn off for you or no?

Yeah it would be a turn off

Not a turn off but i wouldn't date him

I'd be more intriguied about why but not turned off

It makes me want to know what's up with him that girls befriend him a lot

I would avoid him

I would have a different reaction or opinion (please share)

see results (for guys)

Updates

+1 y

By NOT a player i mean he doesn't intentionally play with a womans heart or lead them on or tries to sleep with them and dumps them after or any bullshit like that.

he might harmlessly flirt a little but thats about it

[Smashingdoozy]

Not at all. I understand it, my guy mates probably go through this a lot. There's maybe a ratio of 4 ladies to every 1 guy in my friends group. So naturally the guys are friends with a lot of women. Having lady friends doesn't make you a player. Infact in my eyes having a lot of women as friends makes you more desirable. Having a lady best friend is dang, I don't know just makes me think you're definitely not misogynistic, probably have a lot of respect for women otherwise all these ladies would have beat your ego down

[Still-alive]

Lol thanks. Well I don’t have a best lady friend but yes i like to be just friends without any sexual or romantic expectations from them. I also just empathize with many women based on how historically women have been treated and also they tend to be wayyyy more empathetic than guys are so i open up to y’all more often.

:)

[Smashingdoozy]

Yeah I don't understand why some people get jealous, we've definitely had to deal with some girlfriends being weird about the guys simply hugging us. One girl in particular thank god he dumped her ass after this, actually started cussing me out at a party for coming up behind my friend and hugging him 😂 the same dude that will hug and kiss anyone platonically guys and girls.

[Still-alive]

Lol sounds like she felt threatened or something smh.

To uhh borrow a phrase “bitches be crazy” :p

[ChrisMaster69]

@Smashingdoozy I had this the other day with girlfriend round and friends.

The girls all wanted to see that tattoo and of course all them had to show theirs,

Luckily they have all been out together.

Top top always have you girlfriend go out with your girl mates without you.

[Smashingdoozy]

For sure, if she can't hang she probably isn't going to stick around long 😂

[ChrisMaster69]

@Smashingdoozy apparently I have to treat her properly as she’s now under their protection. 😂😂😂

[Still-alive]

@Smashingdoozy @ChrisMaster69 I remember going to this bar (pub for you brits lols) with friends and this bartender gave me a free drink then my girl who i was friends with did the from behind hug too and immediately the bartenders face went from :) to 😡

Yup i guess that behind the hug thing is seen as too intimate for some people

[Still-alive]

Oh the bartender was a woman forgot that detail

[ChrisMaster69]

I’ve mentioned before I go out with a mixed crown lol.

it’s predominantly girls of various sexualities and styles, but also includes me and 2 guy mates.

invariably it’s me and 1 of the guys with a group of girls.

I find it far easier chilling with girls than I do with some of my guy mates (only so much soccer I can handle).

they also ground me a lot and put up with all my shit 😂😂

it’s amazing you can actually have girl mates and not want to fuck then or stare at their tits when they are getting changed n shit.

[Still-alive]

Lol yes on that last point! 😅😂

[Jamie05rhs]

True! I also have female friends that I definitely do NOT want to have sex with!!

[SAMI_DABBAB]

I asked this question to specific people and they all said it's a turn off, one described it as being "too available to everyone"

[lakotabebebe]

I'm not really the suspicious type. If he's SUPER close to these girls, I'd ask him to back off a bit (hugging them all the time or physically affectionate, but it's fine if I get most of the attention). As long as he stays loyal, hell, I'd probably wanna be friends with the girls!

[Still-alive]

well i don't mean a guy you're with yet just a guy who might try to talk with you and is friends with lots of other girls?

[lakotabebebe]

Hmmm I might back off a bit only because I'm insecure

[Still-alive]

Lol ok well i kinda do this so :p

[Jamie05rhs]

@lakotabebebe It's alright; I react the same way that you do.

[Account]

If I like him and he - even a little- flirts with them?
I would be completely turned off

[Still-alive]

I see. Thank you for your honesty :)

[Jamie05rhs]

@Account What if he doesn't know you like him?

[Account]

Then how will I know he flirts with them? If by coincidence, I found out by a friend that he did the same thing towards her, honestly I would be completely turned off.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Account That's not his fault, though. How is he supposed to know who to pick? What information does he have to go on?

[Account]

Am I not allowed to have a different opinion than you? If I like someone I do not focus on other people, therefore I would prefer to be with someone like me.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Account Of course you're allowed to have a different opinion. Lol. It's just a philosophical discussion.

[Jamie05rhs]

"If I like someone I do not focus on other people, therefore I would prefer to be with someone like me.". I used to be like that, but my older female friend advised me that I should talk to multiple girls at once. She said not to put all of my eggs in one basket, as that girl may be playing me.

[Account]

That could never work for me because I would have to pressure myself to do something I don't want. Also I wouldn't want the dude to do it because it wouldn't be fair to me. So yes, I would be very turned off. I don't expect the other person to be like me, as he shouldn't expect me to choosing him after me finding out about that. I think it is fair

[Account]

To be choosing him*

[Jamie05rhs]

@Account I hear you.

So let me ask you this, if I may:. How's a guy supposed to know that you're worth focusing his attention on? (I mean, obviously you ARE worth it. But that's not what I mean. What I mean is how will he know that you're actually interested in pursuing the prospect of a relationship with him? So he's not wasting his time.)

[Account]

Well in that case how I am I supposed to know he is worthy focusing my attention on him?

I am under the impression that people in general can figure out when a person is into them or not. I wouldn't entertain the mere thought of even subtly flirting with someone I am not interested it.

[Jamie05rhs]

Aaaargh! This is so confusing.

I have no rebuttal for your question. Sorry, hon. I'm stumped. 🤷

No, people cannot figure it out. Lmao. That is actually precisely why THIS website exists! Because nobody knows anything! We're all just mindlessly wandering around like lost sheep. 🙃

[Alyssa11]

It’s a turn off when a guy has a lot of female friends yes. I don’t have any male friends and that’s because I know for a fact and they’d only be my friends waiting to come in when the time is right. And I don’t play that kind of shit. Same goes for a man.

[Still-alive]

Welp i dont think most of the women I speak to are just waiting for an opportunity lol. Plus im already single so they can already try to make their move :p

[Alyssa11]

That’s not what I meant. I meant it would be a turn off for me as it would make me feel uncomfortable

[Still-alive]

Its ok. We’re just friends lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Most dudes "talking" to/ "friends" with a lot of women isn't usually so innocent.. And isn't that the definition of playa? So yeah, thanks but no thanks, I don't share men that way

[Still-alive]

not really i mean if you can read my update i explain what i mean by not player.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

What seems like harmless flirting to one person might not be so harmless to others tho

[Jamie05rhs]

@Brainsbeforebeauty No, actually that's not the definition of a player. If he was a player then he would be having a relationship with multiple girls at the same time.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Jamie05rhs Yes I know, I also know a lot of times they claim "just friends" when it's not

[Jamie05rhs]

@Brainsbeforebeauty Well, people should give truthful answers when they're asked about someone.

Then again, maybe they were just friends with them at that time. But then things changed.

[Jazquee]

Depends... is he flirting with all the women he talks to or just friends?
It would turn me off if he was my boyfriend. Why would he need to have extra women when he has me?
Friends would be a different story

[Still-alive]

Yeah just friends

[Jazquee]

That's acceptable... but just as long as girlfriend comes first. You start putting friends before her... then there would be a problem.

[Still-alive]

Well im single so lol yeah 😂

[Jazquee]

Well then no harm in that...

[Still-alive]

Thanks babe lol 😉

[Jazquee]

Anytime ,💕

[electromagnetic]

Did he just flat out tell me he’s talking to other women? The way I see it, dating is dating until we are involved in a committed relationship. I got no problem with them testing waters to see whom they really want to pursue a relationship with.

[Still-alive]

Well I mean just a dude you are friends with or getting to know and maybe is attractive looking. Would him having a lot of female friends be a turn off to you?

[electromagnetic]

I don’t mind guys having girl friends. I’m not the vanity jealous type. But they can’t get butthurt if they see me laughing at another man’s joke.

[Still-alive]

Lol no definitely not

[Jamie05rhs]

@electromagnetic Do you want him to tell you or do you want him to not tell you?

[electromagnetic]

@Jamie05rhs spill the beans.

[Jamie05rhs]

@electromagnetic What if she was playing hard to get? Why should I tip her off that she has competition? Shouldn't I just let her find out the hard way when I marry somebody else?

[Still-alive]

@Jamie05rhs if she’s playing hard to get just let her go. she's not mature enough to handle a real relationship

[Jamie05rhs]

@Still-alive Oh, I DO let them go. Lol. But that doesn't require actually doing anything if you're already in the Friend Zone to begin with.

[muscularbumblebee]

I couldnt care less tbh. My ex used to have lots of girls as friends but was as innocent as ever (a bit too innocent) as for myself I have lots of guys friends too. I'd only be worried if they were only girls specifically

[menina]

It wouldn't be a turn off for me, he can have friends. However, I wouldn't date him because if I was, I would wonder if he was a player. I would feel insecure.

[Still-alive]

Thats ok and honest :)

[menina]

Thank you. :)

Is this question about yourself? 😜

[Still-alive]

Yeah sorta lol

[menina]

Ok Lol

So, your future girlfriend must be careful 😂😂

[Still-alive]

Not at all. Im extremely loyal in an exclusive relationship :)

[menina]

Then she will be lucky. :)

[purplepoppy]

The opposite. If he's got a female friends its always a good sign he's not a nutter

[Still-alive]

Lol well im a little nutty but yes I respect them and not a creeper either

[Éhmîë]

I won't be completely turned off cos I see so many guys who actually do same so it doesn't really bothers me

[Still-alive]

Awesome 😎

[crazyish]

That doesn't even factor into my decision to date a guy. I have a ton of guy friends. It's normal to me.

[Still-alive]

Excellent ;)

[Midnight_Kiss]

No, nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite gender and he could look all he wants as long a he didn't touch.

[Still-alive]

Cool welp thats me. Online anyways lol

[angel166]

Big turn off. I may be generalizing here but I feel that guys tend to only talk to girls they find attractive. I know it's not every guy, but it's a pattern I've noticed. I would prefer if my boyfriend didn't have so many girl acquaintances (and he doesn't! <3).

[KittyKat90210]

I don't think it's a turnoff. What's wrong with his talking to a lot of women if I'm one of them?

[karaspara]

I wouldn't have a problem with it unless he was acting shady it might arouse suspicion then but I have several platonic male friends so I don't see the problem 💁

[pink_and_inlove]

Yeah I would always feel suspicious it would be bad

[Brokenheartedx]

He's more likely gay...

[Still-alive]

Welp im not. :)

[DaisyAimi]

I would see for myself. It really depends on how he talks to them. I got to feel if it’s okay or not

[elizamichale1]

absolutely not

[Still-alive]

excellent babe :*

[elizamichale1]

hehe thanks

[Miah02]

I don't think it would matter to me

[Gwenhwyfar]

Not a turn off

[Still-alive]

Perfect ;)

[WowwGirl]

No he's just social