Quiet girls or talkative girls?

Question

I was reading something that surprised me, it said that in a survey made to men they said that they prefer that a woman does not talk so much. But most of the men I have talked to almost do not speak if I do not start a topic the talk would be extremely boring. So is it true that they prefer that they speak only what is necessary?

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

This was Chris Rock 20 years ago, but this wasn't news even then:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/9hpYQsckWno

Men tend to communicate directly, in a brutally honest and concise way. We say what needs to be said, and once that's done, we do something else. Remember that men's brains aren't like women's brains. Women think about a dozen things at the same time, and are good at multitasking. Men's brains think about ONE thing at a time, and we're able to focus in on that thing like a laser, completing a thought or solving a problem before moving on to the next thought.

Because our brains work this way, when we are talking - or listening - we more-or-less can't do anything else. We have to stop what we are doing and pay attention - and that means it's hard for us to get anything done (including things like: solve a problem we're thinking about, or enjoying the TV show we're watching, or fixing the car) if we're being interrupted to talk all the time. This is VERY frustrating for us - which is why, when we communicate - especially when we're being productive or speaking to someone who is being productive - we get straight to the point and end the conversation quickly, so we (or they) can get back to work.

Note also that we don't talk about our feelings AT ALL with other guys. That's not because we don't have any - it's because how we FEEL about something is IRRELEVANT to most of what we do. When our boss needs work done, he doesn't care how we feel about it, he just needs it done. When the car is broken, or the roof is leaking, or an electrical circuit is shorted out, they don't care about our feelings - we just have to GET IT FIXED. And once we fix it, those feelings are gone anyway, so the fact that we didn't spend time on them only made us more efficient.

Most women communicate like women - which is understandable - but that means you like to talk and talk and you include how you feel about everything and you introduce lots of irrelevant characters and you take FOR FREAKIN' EVER to get to the point - half the time, we have to drag it out of you. Unless we are literally doing NOTHING, this kind of communication frustrates men to no end, because we're being interrupted to talk about feelings (that we never talk about, and SUCK at talking about) and about people we don't know, don't care to know, and who don't really matter to the story anyway.

This isn't trying to be mean - it's just trying to help you understand. When you come to us to talk, we assume you're passing on straight facts ("the picnic is Saturday at 1pm at Oak Park"), or that you need help or have a problem to solve. Bringing your FEELINGS about things that are completely out of our control makes us feel confused and useless - we don't know how to deal with feelings, because mostly, we don't bother dealing with them - we just FIX the problem, so they go away. And long, involved stories that aren't relevant to the issue only frustrate us and prevent us from getting other things done.

This is why it's important to have girlfriends, so you can communicate with someone in "girl speak" when you need to and share your feelings. Most (experienced) men understand this is a need that women have, but we're about the worst choice you could make when it comes to that, because we just don't communicate that way. Most men, in a relationship with you, would work and sacrifice and give you our last dollar or our seat on the lifeboat even if it meant our certain death - but we just are poorly equipped to talk and listen in the way most women tend to want and need at times.

ChrisMaster69 · Accepted Answer

I definitely prefer chatty girls, dated someone that was not talkative, it did not last long. talkative wins, with the caveat it’s not simply bollox

MTC29 · Answer

I'm not the type of guy who enjoys idle chit chat. I don't mind women talking, when there they something to say. If she just received a promotion at work, give me a compete run down. If the news of the day is that her cat coughed up a hairball that morning, spare me a description of the event.

LonelyDeer · Answer

I feel as if many men who prefer quiet girls have bad experiences with people who talk too much (no judgment, just an observation). Personally, I'd rather a talkative girl simply so I know how she feels or what/how she thinks. I myself can be quiet and unless I know a quiet girl very well already, it's very frustrating and difficult to learn about someone or be with someone you never have a chance to figure out.

SamFromFL · Answer

Def prefer a girl who can talk and carry on a good conversation. Anyone can talk too much but someone willing to talk and listen seems ideal. If she’s too quiet I can’t read her mind.

Lildiq · Answer

A prefer a corpse or a sex doll... Girls are pretty looking and hot physically... But that's the only thing I want from a girl... Her body and looks.. I don't care about her personality or what she has to say... That's why I have never had a girlfriend but own a sex doll, and sometimes pay for prostitutes... Girls don't need to speak at all in my opinion.. jus sit there and look pretty

ohshee · Answer

It's either or but I do like a girl who can talk with her eyes

Brianbrake · Answer

I like talkative, quiet girls are boring af.

Vikkrram · Answer

If i like a girl... It dosen't matter to me...

Wise4myage · Answer

Talkative, but not loud is ideal.

Shihab91 · Answer

somewhere in the middle

JesseJayNeak · Answer

A quiet shy one that can't open up

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