How do I get my longterm guy friend I have a crush on to make a move on me?

[cleopatra0]

So I have been friends with this guy for about 8 years now. We‘ve always sort of liked each other more than friends and even nowadays many of our mutual friends say that we always have this chemistry and we never seem like just friends to them. However, as we got older, we both changed a lot. Not to sound cocky or anything, but I definitely had a hugee glow-up and he seemed very shocked back then (because we always had on-off contact, sometimes we were in contact for a long time and other times we were busy with our lives, but when we come together it‘s like we‘ve never been apart). After a long period of no contact, he initiated contact again about 2 months ago and was very flirty and obvious that he liked me. Picking me up, being very protective over me, telling me how happy I make him and offering me to spend the night at his place and even invited me to go on vacation with him and his friends. He also asked me how it’s going with boys and after I said „I’m still single“ he replied „I just don’t get it.. I mean look at you..“ I played hard to get just a little bit (not too much) and after a while he sort of „gave up“ I guess? We never hung out 1 on 1 because we always have our mutual friend group and I just never mustered up the courage to ask him to hang out alone, because I don‘t want him to know that I like him, if he‘s sending mixed signals now and I don‘t want to make things awkward.. He stopped texting me everyday and is sooo aloof with me. I’m intimidated to make a move, because I don’t know how he feels about me anymore. We‘re going on vacation in a month and I‘m sharing a room with him and I‘m always thinking about how to get him to make a move on me there. At this point I don‘t know if he‘s shy and thinks he doesn‘t have a chance with me or if he‘s just not interested. What would you do and what do you think is going on inside his head rn?

[es20490446e]

That's what flirting was invented for. By signaling to the other person, in a fun non serious way, that you find them attractive. So that can freely choose if they want to act or not act on it.

Flirting is nothing hard to do, you simply need to drop the excess of etiquette. Assume that the other person, just because of being of the other gender, would be aroused by your comments somehow. EVEN if they don't show it up to begin with (guys aren't good getting it).

Be easygoing but direct, slightly cheeky. Just keep the interaction going. Fit your replies to the specific context. Just have fun with the dialogue.

Examples I would say can be:

"Hi, my sexy old friend"
"You are looking as good as usual"
"In summertime I was thinking about you for quality time"
"I have something special for you, it's something you can buy with a drink for two"

It's not about what to say, but more about it being genuine. About what you truly feel. That's what makes it sexy.

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

Okay so, I had a girl invite me to a party, talk to me all night and then say "let's go find a couch"

I really liked her, but her parents were there, I barley knew her, I didn't want to make things weird because her dad was a badass and also my only ride home.

I lay down on the couch head to food and tried my best not to bump into her.

She was so offended, the next day when I told her I liked her she just yelled at me and told me I missed my chance.

If you ask me, he already made the move. Its up to you if you want to talk about it or just not mention it and go with the flow.

But, if you do what I did he is likely to figure you aren't interested and find someone else.

I would rather get rejected, ride home in silence and never see her again than find out she really did like me and I missed my chance by trying not to put her on the spot.

[cleopatra0]

First of all, thank you for your genuine and detailed answer! Second, how would you suggest should I make a move? I‘d prefer to show him through my actions first than telling him right away

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

I don't really know. I never got that far.

But if he's already picking you up and inviting you on vacation to stay in the same room you could probably just cuddle up to him and kiss him if you want to.

But I never got that far so, I'm really not an expert.

[Anonymous]

Y’all going to be sharing a room and a bed? If so, if there’s tv in the room, turn it on, put a movie or something, sit beside him at first then after a few minutes lay ur head on him and don’t say anything. Watch how he reacts. If he starts to caress u get comfortable and complement him on his arms. He’s probably going to start talking about relationships, don’t play hard to get, get serious and tell him how u feel.

[es20490446e]

Use the power of simple hugs.

[spartan55]

This one was pretty easy to answer. I didn't even read it all.

"I played hard to get just a little bit... blah blah

LOL... wtf? Bad move, by doing that all you did is made him think you weren't interested. Why girls do this shit I will never understand. It MIGHT work with a very small number of guys, but most don't play those games. And why would you ever want to keep your attraction under wraps? To protect the friendship blah blah blah... right? At some point you have to take risk and be vulnerable in order to be rewarded with a healthy mutually satisfying relationship.
Also, how do you play 'hard to get' when you are just 'friends'? That doesn't even make sense.

He may have liked at some point and gave up based on your games. Maybe he still does like you, who knows. You saying he is aloof makes no sense either. He isn't your boyfriend, is he supposed to be falling all over himself for you even though you were playing games? Come on.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Spill the beans & tell him how you really feel about him & if he really likes you in return he would be nuts not to make a move. On the other hand make a move on him.

[cleopatra0]

How would you suggest should I make a move?

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Does your long term guy friend hand a girlfriend?

[cleopatra0]

No, he doesn‘t and hasn‘t for 3 years now, so he‘s very insecure about his pursuit in women and doesn‘t seem to recognize his attractiveness anymore..

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As they say love is blind & hopefully he sees what he has in front of him & if he doesn’t make the first move you make the first move & when the moment is right kiss him. On the other hand if you want to wake him up when you go on vacation with him in a month give him a blowjob.

[exitseven]

When you are on vacation you will have the opportunity to ask him if he thinks that maybe you are more than friends. You don;t have to be creepy about it of even very overt,. Just see if he is open to discuss it. I doubt that you will ruin the relationship by doing this.

[In_Trance]

Smh... you don't. Make a move on him ffs.

[cleopatra0]

How would you suggest should I make the move?

[In_Trance]

What would you want him to do?
Do that

[Clarke498]

It sounds like a great friendship, so if you really feel this way I'd recommend just asking him straight up.

[berserk945]

Honestly, you should make the move.

[cleopatra0]

How?

[berserk945]

Ask him on a date. Be clear it is a date

[Anonymous]

Suggestion, YOU make the move.

[cleopatra0]

But how? I always gave him hints that I like him, but he seems so aloof that I don‘t see a point in making the first move.. and it‘s kind of awkward when I do it because it feels so forced..

[spartan55]

Hints DON'T WORK with guys. Remember, you acted like you weren't interested previously. Don't just pretend that didn't happen.

[Luckycharms12]

Make a move why does it always have be a guy

[cleopatra0]

How should I make a move?

[Luckycharms12]

Kiss him only way to know

[Pterodon]

Why don’t you tell him how you feel?