So I have this crush on this guy at my brokerage. He trained me in the beginning of my career but aside from that we rarely see each other because I work from home.
Anyways, I saw him at my brokerage lunch the other day. We smiled at each other right away and I say hi. It may have been just me but he seemed a little nervous as his face turned slightly red as he said hi and his tone and voice sounded muffled. It felt like there was tension in the room. Lol
I decided to be bold and message him yesterday afternoon just letting him know it was nice seeing him. Then he responded saying we should catch up sometime which I was surprised about because we’d never hung out before. So I responded with what you see there but have not heard a word since.
Did I say something wrong or misinterpret signals?
Did I say something wrong here? why is this guy not responding to me?
Look the answer is obvious not sure why no one else picked up on it but the reason there’s no response is because you said “if you ever need help or just a friend” Specifically the part about just a friend and then his response being “I’m always looking for friends LOL” By him adding that LOL that is showing sarcasm and when talking to a girl no guy wants to be stuck in the friend zone unless that guy is seeking a friend in the first place so by you saying things in this manner he already thinks it’s destined to be friend zone so if you want to change that you’re going to have to send him a message implying that there’s something more than friends without being too direct obviously you don’t want to look easy no offense it’s just if it’s easy for him he’s going to think how many other guys got it easily well at the same time not making it too hard I know complicated but what I mean by that is I have like three or four dates before you do it sorry if I’m being too blunt but another way to go about this is to also give the guy compliments about his appearance just don’t imply Friendzone if that’s not what you want because that will make any man turn away unless they are the desperate kind and I guess that’s one way you can tell if they’re desperate.
I don’t think that’s the case because I straight replied to him, yes we should hand out, when are you free? He never responded. I think he’s just trying to keep things professional or polite or he isn’t interested
I think what you said was fine , although , I would have gone a little harder on the first paragraph , but the intent is clear. Find another reason to message him and keep the ball rolling , but try and make it NOT about work , shows a clearer circumstance.
Hmm , maybe , I just would have made it crystal clear ( to some degree ) , its okey.. But , how should he have responded to the last sms? Its an outing of friends as it reads
I get that. It almost seemed like he was trying to use a window of opportunity to say we should Catch up. I don’t get why it was even necessary to say that then.
Either way , the important part with guys make intent to some degree obvious , and dont overthink it either. Just say something like " So long overdue , how are you positioned for say Thursday / Friday? lets have that coffee / dinner / drinks " ( whatever its going to be )
I’ve learned that when a guy is actually interested he’ll make an effort to express his interest (along with taking action to pursue something further/usually will make the initiative) and will always find the time to reply regardless of what he’s doing... and even if he were busy he’d reply later on saying what he was doing. This to me comes off as... I’m going to be polite and respond to her thanking me but then I’m going to stop replying because I’m not interested in her that type of way.
Seems like the answer is staring you in the face judging from the text. Did you assume only guys can be "friend-zoned?" This topic really shows you the level of entitlement females have, just assuming every man "wants them."
Course, this is in direct correlation to the majority of dudes thinking with the 'wrong head.' Always reminds me of the quote from The 40 year old Virgin. "Stop putting p**sy on a pedestal."
I say, "Good for him." Did you even consider he's just "shy" Men's behavior around women pretty much swings from extreme to extreme.
No, you said nothing wrong or weird or too forward. Thanks for everyone's personal info, by the way.
I'd say just patiently wait for him to reply. If he likes you and wants to get together he'll answer back... if he is just being friendly and was just saying that but really doesn't want to hang out then he'll not follow up.
Just be patient and wait. If he doesn't follow up then you have your answer.
How long has it been since you sent the message? A few minutes? Hours? Days? Weeks? Depends. If it’s been says. He might not be interested. But just to be sure. Shoot him another message. It’s better for someone to be straightforward instead of just ignoring it.
If it’s not been that long. He might just be busy. If I’m busy and something isn’t a emergency. I might wait to respond. But if something needs a response. I respond at some point
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
He could have just been being friendly and didn't expect you to leap at the chance.
Or he could be like every guy in the world out there, and not responding as fast as women would like.
Give it a few days and let him reply (or not) in his own time.
Coz i think he might not have an idea that you like him or maybe he knows it, but for time being he just wanna watch ur actions or let's say he doesn't know what to say now? Wait he will reply...
You didn't do anything wrong. It's difficult to know with absolute certainty what someone else is feeling so you'll have to wait and see what he does next. The ball is in his court.
You are better off meeting him in person and talking with him instead of doing it all on your phone with texts and email, I think that's the main problem.
@spartan55 - How many times have you texted someone, and based on their reply it's obvious they completely misunderstood what you were saying or asking? The problem with text is there is no emotion - why they invented emoticons to try to give some. And there's no body language to see. So you miss out on at least half of what's being communicated. Plus, it's too slow of an interaction. A new or developing relationship requires quality time, FACE TO FACE in real life - IRL. So you get misunderstanding and confusion, and then stupid questions like this one.
@spartan55 I'm in full agreement with you. It's funny how mostly older and 'out of touch' guys keep saying this, but it's so far ingrained in social interaction now.
@spartan55 - Sure it is, we all use these communication mediums. It's innocuous, quick, convenient. I'm a very early adopter - I remember when the 'internet' was a black screen with white text, then a blue screen with yellow text. Remember 'prodigy'? Unfortunately, it cannot replace actual face to face time to develop a romantic relationship. There are no shortcuts for the dating process. At least none that produce success.
I don't think he will, though. He was her trainer. It would be very unprofessional of him to push anything. He's not going to take the risk, especially if she's not sure what she even wants.
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