Why does a guy act cold (er) after a date that went great according to himself?

[Dilaravlrdd]

Im talking for a month with a guy , everything went well until I noticed he is a negative thinker about love and marriage. He is 30 and sometimes it feels like he is desperate for finding a spouse. He asked me on a date and it went well. He kissed me and showed lots of affection and interest. The next day after our date however he tells me that he is a bit down so he is taking a little break. I agreed to give him space, in the evening he called me and we talked and then he tells me that he lost all hope in love - mind you this is the day after we had an amazing date - he told me that he even would want an arranged marriage. I tried to talk him out of his negative thinking but felt uneasy because it felt like I was the problem and that the date wasn’t as good, even though he said it himself it was a great date and he looked happy. Anyway I tried to brush it off , he asked me for another date and again everything went well , but the next day he doesn’t text me all day. I knew he was at work but even if he is at work , he still texted me in the past and made effort to say that he is having a bad day or a busy day. So I didn’t hear from him, but he called me late at night and asked for my day and I asked for his. After That I texted him if something was wrong because he acts so weird after a date with me, I told him I feeel that he is emotionally detached and that I don’t feel even a bit of warmth from him towards me or a bit of a positivity look towards love, because of me. Because we were getting so close over text and then on the dates we also were close but after the dates he becomes very “weird”.
Hé once told me that he doesn’t get feelings fast and that he is a perfectionist. He is looking for the perfect woman and that he can end things quickly with her even though they became close mentally and physically with each other. Could it be that he becomes distance because of this or that something is not going smoothly in his life? Or because of me?

Updates

+1 y

Thank u all for the advice. Update: I tried talking to him about this coldness after the date , however he ignored my texts and started talking about something else , which clearly means he didn’t care about my feelings. I told him I didn’t find it nice of him to ignore my texts , but that’s okay cause now I know where I stand with him.
The guy got all panicked and asked me when he can call me to talk about it. I didn’t open the chat anymore, Im going to trust my intuition instead of my heart

[GaGirls]

He sees the whole in the donut but never the outer ring...
He has a negative attitude toward love and marriage as it relates to himself.

Maybe it's not my place to say but I don't think it will work out for him unless he becomes aware of what a paradigm is and how to change it.
His paradigm around love and marriage as it relates to himself is clearly not in harmony with what he wants.
The paradigm controls your perception of any situation, among other things. It is why people miss opportunities right in front of them. It's quite sad. A mind fixed on the worst seems to recognize the worst. A mind fixed on the best seems to recognize the best. The more we fix our mind on what we appreciate the more conditioned our minds will become at doing so. It's equivalent to the theologian saying, he lives for the world of death instead of the world of life. You can only have faith in the worst if your mind is always fixed on the worst. I don't he even knows what he definitely wants. Perfection is not definite to subjective beings. We are not impersonal like God so perfection cannot exist because it is subjective. He has to know what he wants and be definite. Order is the first principle in achieving any goal. I hope this helped but I do think you are wasting your time. You can explore what I have said and offer it to him as help but changing him is a tall order. It is hard enough changing yourself.

[jekyllhyde]

doesn't matter what he said or felt. You don’t need validation from anyone but yourself. If you did your best, no regrets. People mess up sometimes and get nervous. But that’s ok. It’s part of human nature. Life in general never came with a manual. We learn as we go. Don’t worry about what others may think. Focus on how you felt, what you did and what you could work on to improve yourself. They wanna give you the cold shoulder afterwards, that’s on them. Chances are they’ll likely do that to others. Eventually sooner or later he’ll run into the wrong person who won’t be so nice and his crusade ends there.

[Adam1978]

He has issues for sure, never nice to have someone that complains about their love life to a date. They should have left that behind. That guys are a bit distant after a date can simply be he got his dose of relationship and is now doing something else before he feels he needs another dose. It doesn't mean something is wrong. You can't expect a single guy to go into a relationship 24/7 after a few dates.

[MJtheCoach]

The guy acts like a girl.
Seems like the girls he wants he can’t get.


Because attractive girls run from him hah




That’s his fault for refusing to learn

[Anonymous]

He probably lost interests, but if he's looking for the perfect woman, then he probably did you a favor. And that's not a dig on you.

[IncognitoBandito]

He'll never be satisfied and is a waste of time.

[Avicenna]

Things aren’t moving fast enough for him