Why do men not approach black women like they do to white women. Especially blondes? That also includes the black men as well🤔 When I get approached all the attention goes to how my body looks, even when I'm fully covered... No interest in actually getting to know me.
Having read your replies to the existing answers, it seems that you are open-minded enough to hear the truth without getting overly offended - which is good - so I'm going to answer your question. Note that I'm going to speak about some stereotypes and generalizations, which may not apply to you individually, but which DO apply to many black women, as I'm sure you can admit. We all understand that exceptions exist, and no one is claiming that you, individually, are any of these things, even if many guys assume that you are.
It's NOT a fetish (in most cases) that's at work here. It's CULTURE.
Regardless of the reasons WHY, a LOT of young black girls come from lower-class backgrounds, and it's generally true of anyone from a lower-class background (regardless of race), morals and values aren't exactly promoted, and much of popular black culture actively celebrates all of the various ways that morals and values are ignored and ridiculed.
Women from lower-class backgrounds (and this is equally true of white "trailer trash") tend to be very promiscuous from a young age, and tend to drink, smoke, and use drugs. They are also used to being sexualized and talked to disrespectfully by people in their culture, and don't seem to mind it. Many black women that guys (even black guys) meet in real life demonstrate ALL of those stereotypes. This leads some guys to assume that ALL black women are this way. That's not fair or right, but it's kind of understandable given how often it IS true, and this is something that you're going to have to overcome with your attitude, behavior, and bearing. You shouldn't have to do that, but life isn't fair, and the fact is, you DO have to do it.
To be completely frank, most middle-class guys would never be in a relationship with a lower-class girl - especially one with lower-class morals and values - but they're happy to have sex with them. And whether you personally have a lower-class or middle-class background, you're being pigeonholed as lower-class until you demonstrate otherwise. And that's exactly what you need to do: demonstrate otherwise. And even though it's unfair, and even though it's probably exhausting and frustrating, you need to remain calm and keep a sense of humor about it.
"I'm sorry, LOL, but you've mistaken me for a girl you can disrespect. If you can't say something respectful, then you should go talk to some other girl and leave me alone. " *smirk*
You'll find that lots of guys still won't respect you and will move on, but some guys will correct themselves and will start treating you respectfully, and THOSE guys are worth talking to. And once you start surrounding yourself with people who treat you respectfully, most other people will do the same automatically.
You have to show people that you respect yourself before they'll show respect to you, but if you do so, they'll do the same. There will always be some assholes who don't respect anyone - and everyone has to deal with them - but the vast majority will respect you if you demonstrate with your actions and attitude that you don't tolerate disrespect.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
It comes down to what people find attractive. You're the only one insisting it has to do with the colour of your skin. Every other woman out there including the white women, have to deal with men who give all the attention to how their body looks, even when they are fully covered... With no interest in actually getting to know me.
That's a guys-are-shitty-sometimes thing. Not a black or white thing.
Most guys are attracted to how you look first, because they don't know anything about you except that you are hot. What kind of line are you going to shoot a hot guy when you approach him? You are going to compliment something about his looks, because literally that's what brought you over. Same with men.
The rest of what you said is a generalization and limiting belief. Personally if a female tells me they are into "xxxxxx guys" and that's me I take it as "Cool I got a good shot here" not "God, I can't believe I'm a fetish"
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Asker
+1 y
I guess the difference here would be that you hotness isn't because of you skin color and things that are associated with being white. While in my case it is.. Hence the reason to believe it's fetish..
Go approach an ugly guy and say he's the hottest man you know, and then go approach a vapid guy and say he has a great personality, then approach a dumb guy and say he's a genius.
"Why are you saying I'm ugly, every guy that approaches me say I'm hot!" exactly, and that's all they talk about and you come here to complain.
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Asker
+1 y
Jealousy? Where? This made absolutely no sense to me.
Jealousy of women who get approached more, like you are entitled to other people's attention and the attention they got was wrong because it was not aimed at you.
"You can't understand me, you were a slut, you got attention for ages" well, negative as well, I got scars for ages, traumatic stuff I have to face every time I'm in front of a mirror.
Dude.. You gotta learn to read properly before replying🙄 Tell me what sentence made you think you've known me long enough to type"You can't understand me, you were a slut, you got attention for ages". The more you try to seem smart.. The dummer you actually seem in my eyes.. If you can't be grown up enough to answer a question without making it a personal attack, it's better to just move on.. Nothing here is mandatory, nobody forced you to reply to this question. Move along please.
You're STILL on this again, Juju? It seems like if men like black girls, "it's a fetish." If they don't like black girls, "it's racism." There's literally no way to win, here. What would be your ideal scenario then?
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Asker
+1 y
Since you decide to put fetish and like in the same sentence maybe you should look up the meaning because it is not the same. 😊 My ideal scene would be to be approached and treated like a human.. not a piece of meat.
I guarantee you 99% of men do just that, and you just see what you want to see and just blame it on your race. Which ironically, is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, since one hand feeds the other.
I told you before to PM me if you wanted help. But it seems more like you are looking to be proven "correct" with your negative beliefs, rather than seeking the possibility you could be wrong. I know what that's like.
You're just talking to the wrong guys. They sound very immature if they're still so inexperienced with other races that it ever affects their opinions of someone.
Men who don't know you have no idea what you are like as a person. The only thing that will bring them to talk to you (unless you're a sales clerk or something) is your appearance. So of course that is going to be the initial focus.
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Asker
+1 y
Of course it's appearance that makes them come over. That the same for us girls too.. But after that... when they actually got my attention It should be possible to talk about something else than my ass.
In what way did I suggest that it was your problem? It was a question that you didn't have to answer, but yet chose to and this what you could contribute with? 😅
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