He only wants sex?

[Anonymous]

I barely know him and this was the first time I was having a chat with him on our first date and he said he wants a 1 week vacation with me to a small house which his friend owns in Devon.
Why is he saying this and what does he want to do there with me?

[RearEntryGuy]

You barely know him and he invites you to a "small house"?

How did you know him? Online?

Reading you Details, the words sex, sex and sex kept popping out my device.

Perhaps he may want to know you better. But under that 1 week in a "small house" setting, I kept reading sex, sex and sex.

He might not be a creep. Maybe he felt it's a good way to get away from both your busy lifestyles for a week.

But I kept wondering, before you, how many other girls that he barely knew were invited to that cabin? With this thought, sex, sex and sex kept ringing in my mind.

So, my Opinion is, apart from sex, he desires sex, and more sex. And of course, he too likes the beautiful house that's so small, that you can only have sex, sex and sex.

[Asker]

He's a PhD student at my uni.
So no relationship
?

[RearEntryGuy]

You wrote you "barely" know him. PhD or not doesn't create bonds.

[Asker]

Yes but you asked how met him. So I said. He also ghosted me and stopped replying to my messages. I stopped texting him and now he's being friendly with me, saying he hi how are you

[RearEntryGuy]

I see. More obvious now that he wants a girl for a friend.

Nothing wrong. Even if all he wants now is sex.

But what about you? What do you want?

PS: I think the ball is in your court, and you have strong bargaining power. Yes, you can set terms for this relationship because you know he's wanting.

[Asker]

What do you mean? Why would he talk to me friendly after he ghosted me?

[RearEntryGuy]

If course I won't know what happened to him.

But one guess is: perhaps he just had a break up and now wants a rebound?

Another is: he realize that he's graduating and wants to get ready-to-wear settle down? I don't know, need to ask him.

But whatever, he seemed "wanting" aka "high and horny, want sex".

Do you want?

[RearEntryGuy]

* get ready to settle down

[Asker]

But if he's already hooking up, why getting horny with me? He already has girls I assuming?

[RearEntryGuy]

LOL! Now you sounded so insecure.

Come-on!

I think i know you better now.

Stop concern. If you like him, then say yes.

After that plan how to play hard to get.

[Asker]

What's insecure in this? If he's horny how come he isn't satisfied with the girls he's with?
Also he isn't texting me or asking me to meet up. He only says hi to me when we bump into each other.

[RearEntryGuy]

Now imagine you're a neutral person who don't know you.

Read your reply above this.

Do you realize it's all your assumptions concerning his behavior?

This is what I called "insecure feelings".

If you are secure, you won't even worry if he's having sex now with another girl.

You already have him as date and will direct his attention to you, not his desire.

PS: this thread is long and out of topic. If you like to, dm me to chat privately.

[Asker]

Wait did you even read? That he doesn't text me?

[RearEntryGuy]

I read
1) he invited you to a small house.

2) you think all these while he has another girl

3) he didn't text you until the message asking you to small house.

And I'm confused with the timeline. Lots of question like how you both met, chat, until it stopped, etc...

And it's difficult to tell what happens when all the info you given are fragmented over time.

[Asker]

I went on a date with this guy but long story short, he never messaged me on his own. I had to ask him if he was free and he responded late evening the NEXT DAY. He was also late in coming to meet me but we eventually did. The date went smoothly and it was really nice talking to him. However, he looked like he wanted to hug me, and kiss me on the first chat itself. I had only spoken to him before and it was just a 5 min chat, introducing myself because I was tired of him staring but not even coming to talk to me. During this date he asked me he wanted to go to a cottage in a coastal town by the sea in another city during Christmas. Three times. I kind of agreed and he dropped the topic. After the date, he didn't message so I messaged him saying I loved it and he was like hope to see you next week. 2 days later, his attitude had changed, he took a long to reply but came to see me twice and hugged. He wouldn't mention anything of what he actually wanted so we talked on various topics. He was again looking at my legs. After that, he stopped replying to my messages and even when I asked him if he was free this week then we can meet, he didn't reply. I saw him in person and he winked and waved at me and then came to say hi (the day I last messaged him asking we could meet if he was free). He has a few girls already whom he texts and goes to meet and he also works at a bar. Even though he's pretty wealthy. What struck out the most was how he didn't even want to remain friends or just talk more and get to know each other. Is this guy a fuckboy who is manipulative or just an idiot who lost interest? He's 25.

00

[Asker]

Hellooo

[RearEntryGuy]

(Oops... hello... different time zone. When you replied I was already in dreamland smile.)

Before talking about him, I like to talk about you.

The "first" you as shown in your Details is Empathic.

You already "felt" him, and you already know the answer to your question. But you hope someone can confirmed it. And yes, you want him. But you're so worry that he's a Player, a fuckboy.

The "Second" you in the above reply is Pragmatic. Now you think. You reasoned. And yes, you already got the answer about him as a person.

He's rich. He worked because in a bar, he can meet girls. Isn't that what you're thinking?

He doesn't seem to want to know you better. But he's so smooth with words, and every reply he made cause your heart to miss a beat.

Again, you know the answer. You just "enjoy" the "cushion" (a psychological term used with cognitive dissonance) he threw on you.

But deep in, you know it's won't last.

And I agree. After he get to fuck you, he'll leave, just like he left other girls. You're just another number in his long list of "old shoes". (Pardon my term. It's an expression used by my younger colleagues who are Players.)

You know. But you just need assurance. So I tell you, cling to him at your own peril.

My personal suggestion is, block him and stop ghosting. Do not be reachable in any manner.

He'll soon come to you in person and ask why.

You'll then tell him, "sorry, I not available" and walk away.

Think about mlwhatbi wrote and what he had done to you. And be convinced that your feelings are correct.

(I again urge you to DM me because this thread is getting personal and out of topic.)

[20yearsolder]

Was it being your very first date and him suggesting this, that's pretty creepy. Yeah I would assume he has sex in his plans

[Asker]

So no relationship
?

[20yearsolder]

I guess it could possibly turn into a relationship if you are willing to take the chance that all he wants is in your panties

[LegendaryIcon]

you can't assume sex

it'd be like assuming your team is going to win every single game...

you simply can't do that, JUST BECAUSE IT'S YOUR TEAM

[awkward_author]

He probably wants to spend time with you. It's possible he wants sex as well...

[Anonymous]

I could not think anything but sex

[Mark987]

did you meet him in person?