Is this just a hookup?

[Lilphil123]

I met this guy online and I have no idea if we are a casual hookup or more. We went on 2 dates so far which were so much fun. Dates were a month apart. He was living 40 min away and just moved close by. He slept over both times, cuddled all night and talked a lot in the morning after.

He acts like he’s really in to me on the dates, held my hand and seems to want to get to know me. Last date was 2 weeks ago. He message me last weekend and was very flirty but never mentioned another date. He did the same thing after the first date. Pretty confident he will message again for a date but just not sure what his intentions are here. I am 9 years older than him and have a child so not sure if that has anything to do with it. He’s 27.

I am trying to play it cool because every time I make any move on a guy they run. But I do have a bit of a crush on him. Do I just keep going with the flow or say something next time we hang? Obviously don’t want to rush anything but I like a little more contact and less time in between dates. Even if just a hookup wouldn’t you want to hang more?

[Gwenhwyfar]

He’s not just a hookup. Nothing sexual happened. He really likes you just wants to take it slow. Be patient.

[Lilphil123]

No we did hookup. He stayed over both times. But the 2nd time was actually the most passionate that I’ve had in a while.

[Gwenhwyfar]

That sounds hot 😍. I still think he likes you.

[spartan55]

Maybe he doesn't have any intentions yet

[Lilphil123]

That’s kinda what I was thinking. That he is interested but not in a rush for anything and just seeing where it goes. I’m fine with that. Just hoping eventually it picks up after a few more dates.

[spartan55]

You know he doesn't have to do everything to get things into gear. It sounds like you are waiting around for him to do it all. You have agency too.

[Lilphil123]

Yea but in the past I’ve had similar situations that once I made a move the guy ran so I’m hesitant. I don’t want to ruin the chance.

[spartan55]

If he's going to run he will, regardless if you make a move or not. Your dealing with a different guy.

[Lilphil123]

I will see what he says when he messages again. Our last message was joking about who would win in mini golf in this indoor bar we have in the area. So maybe I’ll ask when the competition is?

[spartan55]

"when he messages again"... apparently you aren't willing to message him?

[Lilphil123]

Well he actually didn’t respond to my last message so I don’t want to send another message yet.

[spartan55]

Oh, yeah I would wait too.

[Lilphil123]

Well still no message ! Has been a week. Guess I was wrong and he strictly just sees this as a random hookup.

[spartan55]

Do you perhaps you gave it up too soon?

[Lilphil123]

I don’t know. Maybe that gave him the idea I just want a hookup? I just usually don’t hold back if I feel a connection. My ex husband I slept with on the first date and we were together 8 years.

[spartan55]

Yeah it rarely works out like that.

[Lilphil123]

I guess. This just felt different though in person. Oh well on to the next.

[spartan55]

Sorry it didn't work out for you.

[Lilphil123]

Thanks for the advice !

[Lilphil123]

He messaged and asked to get a drink again! Going to go out next weekend. not sure if he sees this just as a hookup but I guess we’ll see how it goes.