Is it normal for a guy to not be in a relationship for 2 years after getting out of a 3 year relationship?

[Anonymous]

Does that usually signify that he isn’t really over it yet or that he still may love her.. or he just wants to be single for a bit

[honeynut-scenarios]

I’ve known men to take relationships very seriously, as well as men who are quick to jump to another lover soon after the breakup. For the more serious one who chooses to remain single for a long period after could be doing for a variety of reasons, one being he was really hurt by his past relationship. He may not want to allow himself to become in a position where he could get hurt again. He may have feelings for her, and he may have already tried to win her back. He may also wish he’d done something differently, but he knows it’s too late so he swallows his pride, and doesn’t try again. Or he may not even care for her at all, anymore. Perhaps, he’s at peace with himself and is enjoying being alone. Or maybe he’s not alone at all, and doesn’t want to get tied down to just one girl, because he wants all of them. I think this is pretty normal.

[Asker]

Wheww, now it’s just a matter of trying to figure out which one it is LOL 😂

I just don’t want to fall for a guy who isn’t over his ex.. especially if she broke up with him.. he said that he’s not looking for a relationship at the moment and I respect that. He wants something more casual.. he says he’s tied up with work (trying to be a firefighter.. he’s on probation) I do believe him and he’s pretty upfront about anything..

He never mentions his.. I just feel like I can’t compete with that

[Asker]

Not to sound insecure but it is bothersome

[honeynut-scenarios]

If you want a relationship, but he does not, you have to ask yourself if you’re okay with that. I assume he may still or eventually want to become intimate with you. And more than likely he probably already is with someone else. His feelings for you may change overtime, but during that time, it’s a very hurtful process unless you are just like really good at getting over people. If it were my choice, I would leave before I became too invested. Best of luck ♥️

[Asker]

Wait you think he’s with someone else? I’m confused on that part?

We both agreed in the beginning to do friends with benefits but I changed my mind. He never pressured me and he said okay. He basically friendzoned me and said that he still likes talking to me. We continued talking as friends but I just broke it off because I like him more than a friend and I don’t think he feels the same

[honeynut-scenarios]

Not definitely, but it’s possible. If he was only talking to one girl, that would be difficult not to catch feelings. I was in a friends with benefits relationship with a guy that became my best friend, and we were inseparable. He stopped texting, and snap chatting his other girl friends on his own decision. I started to feel like he began having feelings so I had that conversation with him, and he said it was okay for me to date other people because he was still happy just being friends. So I did, and then he confessed feelings. He became obsessed with me, and I became entirely unattached to him. Our friendship ended here, and I can’t say I have any regrets. By saying okay, I feel like he’s okay with loosing you and that hurts, but know that you deserve better. He may chase after you, or he may allow you to find someone who really gives a crap about you.

[Asker]

So the real reason I didn’t want tot do it is because I’m a virgin.

But I really do think he’s a decent good guy who actually just wants me as a friend because when I said okay we can have sex he wasn’t interested anymore but he said it was because of work I don't know

He said “if you found someone who can give you what you want then I really want that for you “ “ I really do hope you’re happy and you can take that the wrong way if you want but I know how I feel about it”

I don't know if he’s just letting me down easy but he does respect my boundaries and he hasn’t even mentioned sex anymore that much

But Ik he’s is probably talking to other females because his snap scores are always high

[TheSpaceGnome]

It means you have low standards.
Any idea how long it takes just to find another person I click with who's single, childless, and in my country? I'd be lucky to find a new girlfriend in 10 or 15 years lol.