If his ex was a petite 120lbs and I’m 180lbs am I the downgrade?

[anonbrunette99]

Cause it sure as fuck feels like it

[TonyV]

You are not a downgrade, not at all, don't let any man make you feel like you are.

I saw your comment about how he used "his type" as a weapon against you in an argument, that is not ok, and you should be obsessed with it even tho he apologized. That was a terrible thing for him to say. I'm a firm believer that people change their type as they learn, grow, and realize what's really important to them in a relationship but him saying that just proves he has a type/expectation in his head that you don't live up to, and to be clear that is NOT your fault, it's not your responsibility to try to either. Why he would date a girl that isn't the type he's after is beyond me. What he said was way out of line.
Also his ex was 120lbs? I had a friend who was 135lbs and 5'10" and she was real thin, I couldn't image her getting down to 120, this 120lb fetish of his an unreasonable standard, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you being 180lbs, that was just a low blow that really show how little he cares, and that he is actively comparing you to her which is absolutely wrong. You are not there to compete with her, you are not there to be her replacement, you are there to be you, nothing less and nothing more.
I don't want to tell you what to do but I kind of think you should dump him. Him talking to like that in an argument is verbal abuse and manipulative, he shamed you for being yourself.

I can tell you feel hurt and rightfully so, and I can't tell you to get over that cause I don't think you should. I don't think he respects you and worse he may be trying to prey on your insecurity to manipulate you.

So this "wonderful"🙄 ex of his, obviously it didn't work out if she's an ex, what cause that relationship to fail? Does he blame her?

[MrtoddsWildRide]

Not necessarily. She might have been rude, or ugly on the inside, or have bad personal hygiene, or been a user or a thousand other things that matter more.

[anonbrunette99]

True I try reassure myself skinner doesn’t mean prettier or a better personality … but I guess to a man who prefers skinny it would matter more

[MrtoddsWildRide]

There is such a thing as too skinny and no, skinny doesn't mean pretty even if she is his ideal weight. He's not with her anymore. He's with you. That means he doesn't want her, but he does want you.

[England4eva]

No, but I understand why you would feel it if his previous girlfriend was very slim.

This is why I only date guys who go for girls who look like me. If his “usual type” is blond and skinny and petit, my insecurities would forbid me to get with him. I need to basically see myself in the girl he was with, to feel good enough for him. It’s ok if anyone disagrees with this, just saying the truth on my confidence.

[anonbrunette99]

yeah honestly ummm two of his ex’s before me where very very thin but they didn’t look alike otherwise. they where both brunette though but in an argument once he said I wasn’t his type and would never be. Then apologised. But it kind of made me obsess over it.

[England4eva]

Yeah that would be impossible for me to recover over. My ex liked skinny tattooed edgy girls. I’m nothing like that. I would feel inferior to every and any girl we encountered with this description. I need a man who likes everything about me, and for my flaws to tick all his boxes or I just can’t do it.

[TonyV]

Sorry to here you feel that way, glad you at least realize it's a self inflicted insecurity. You ever thing that maybe some guys after having bad relationships with those 2 or 3 exs of "their type" realize that type, as much as they like it is just trouble? And the reason they're with you, a girl so different now is cause they realized their old dating criteria was flawed and leading to bad relationships? I'm sure it's not a great feeling that when they decide to drop skinny, tattooed, and edgy from their preferences they turn to you but they probably go to you when they finally realize looks aren't as important as personality. So many of them "pretty" girls have nothing going for them except their looks.
If for somereason me and my girlfriend broke up I would find someone very different from her, I wouldn't want to be with a similar person in a similar situation cause it would probably end similarly, also I'm looking for someone new, not someone who reminds me of my ex.

It's like if you had a bad experience with a pet dog, and you decided to try getting another pet dog, would you pick the same breed again? Or would you try to get one of the many many other types of dogs that you think would be more what you're looking for.

[England4eva]

@TonyV this is a good explanation. Thank you

[Gwenhwyfar]

Sadly he might see you as that. Hopefully he doesn’t. You’re defo not fat in your pfp.

[RealMarek]

His ex is an ex for a reason. I doubt you’re a downgrade.

[anonbrunette99]

He seems a little obsessed with her though it’s weird

[RealMarek]

That’s a red flag. He probably isn’t over her yet or really ready to date. He should not be obsessed with his ex or thinking about her too much if he’s looking to start a relationship with someone else.

[Mark987]

Hell no... first of all weight don't matter.. The whole thin look is out... I would rather a woman with curves and weight... than a twig...

[ragooo8]

According to your profile pic you have giant tits...

[TrillXHippy]

[TallAnon]

Given similar height, if we're just talking physically.. Yeah

[anonbrunette99]

She’s 5’2 I’m 5’9

[TallAnon]

That's a different story then, that's more similar.

[MistaM2daE]

Whaaaat? Noooo
Noooo just that, no explanation needed

[Pohjolan]

Perhaps his ex taught him a lesson about the value of personality.

[Hulk30]

hell no personally i'd fuck the dog hell outta ya i love big women

[UniquelyBasic]

How do you know her weight?

[UniquelyBasic]

Theirs a reason she's the ex girlfriend.

[anonbrunette99]

she’s my friend sort of she never told me her weight but anytime I guess my friends weight or families weight or celebrities weight I’m usually right. I’m a lot taller though like 8 inches taller tbh. And that reason is cause she dumped him for his best friend lol

[UniquelyBasic]

Your weight is probably perfect for your height so it all evens out even if you weigh more than her.

[Reijen]

It's possible he likes you as you are.

[princeofromance]

You are the upgrade dear.

[jjj101010]

Hard to say without seeing the other girl

[anonbrunette99]

Ahhhh for a opinion I would show but I don’t wanna post cause that’s kind of invasive for her 😩😩😩😩

[jjj101010]

Drop me a message if u can

[jjj101010]

Or just follow me if u prefer

[anonbrunette99]

I think I messaged you my wifi is slow but I’m sure I did

[jjj101010]

No probs. Slow Wi-Fi is a nightmare. Can’t u switch to 4/5G?

[Jouth]

Butthole food?